THE BOSWELL PHOENIX
by Poppinbottlesintheice
Summary: How the Boswell family might be doing in 2014.I don't own Bread, that honour belongs to Carla Lane and BBC, or any of the songs quoted.
1. Chapter 1

REFLECTING ON OTTERSPOOL PROM.

Sitting on Otterspool Prom, with the Easter sun shining and The Mersey gently flowing by, Joey gazed at the water whilst a montage of images flashed through his brain. Coming here as a kid, rolling down the hill, playing tag, hide and seek, and bulldog with his siblings. Early teenage fumbles with girls in the greenery, losing his virginity to Debbie Barrett, a succession of girlfriends, Alice Waring amongst them, who was physical perfection but always slammed the door to his jag. Walking Edgar, and of course Roxy, always Roxy.

Early days with Roxy when they first met and Joey lost his heart. Bringing his mam to the garden festival in 1984 when they were both hurting from desertion. Roxy back on the scene by September 1987 and rekindling their romance till a month later on this very spot,

'Don't Joey, I'm married that's why.'

Walking with Roxy last week discussing today, his mam's 79th birthday.

'I'm not going Joey, she's never liked me Joey, and I'm the last person she'll want to see on her birthday. She's never forgiven you for marrying me in the first place and then for staying married.'

Joey grimaced. It was true and the only reason they'd stayed married was because he had loved his wife beyond rhyme or reason, enough to stand father to Alex, to ignore the constant affairs, to overlook her refusal to mix with any of his family, to demand his loyalty and undivided attention whilst offering nothing herself. But now Joey didn't even know whether or not he still loved her or why the hell he stayed. All he felt was an increasing sense of dissatisfaction that he couldn't comprehend.

Joey realised his relationship with his mother had never fully recovered from the time he told her of his marriage, and his secret frustrations and resentments so long suppressed had finally surfaced and been given voice to. On the face of it things were ok, he'd apologised but deep down he felt he'd spoken the truth. She had domineered them, smothered them, made it hard for them to have relationships outside the family. His mother had forgiven him, of course she had, because that's what mothers do, but Joey knew the things he had said that day lay at the back of her mind, forgiven but not forgotten.

Julie had hit the nail on the head when she told Billy it was a mother he wanted not a wife. Billy, living in his dead grandad's house, continuing to have dinner next door with his mam every night, still pining for Julie, and still trying and failing to bond with Francesca. Francesca now twenty-seven and married to Zac, the only son of a wealthy, health-spa owning, golf playing, wine quaffing Cheshire type, and living in the Colonnades at Albert Dock. No doubt she would send Nellie a card, flowers and a gift voucher but Joey doubted she'd visit.

Jack had certainly needed his mam when Leonora had decamped to London when Rosa was a toddler, unable to cope any longer with Jack's aggression. Jack had moved back home and played no further part in his daughter's life. Jack never appeared bothered about the separation from her, something Joey just couldn't understand. How could you not mind that you hadn't seen or heard from your daughter for nineteen years and possibly never would?

Two years later Jack had moved in with Susie, a single mum with a fourteen year old daughter Jess, who lived near Brunswick station. How Nellie had raged, Leonora had been too old, but Susie was too common, a single mum, and from a traveller family to boot. The birth of John a year later and Tanya the following year, both baptised and raised as Catholics had softened Nellie a lot. At fifteen and fourteen they were a bright, loveable pair of scallies whom Joey had a soft spot for. Nellie was scandalised when Jess had not one but two sons by different men, stayed with neither and now lived with the boys in a warm, friendly, slightly chaotic house in one of the Holy Land streets where Jack fitted in as grandad and adored both lads. Joey envied Jack, undisputed head of his own clan with a partner who was both friend and lover.

Unlike him.

Roxy had refused to give him a child.

'It's too late now Joey, I'm too old now Joey, you should have cut the cord and married me earlier Joey, when I wanted you to.'

Granted Roxy was older than Joey, but only by a couple of years, hardly too old to have another baby when they did finally marry.

Although Joey loved Alex and had treated him as his own, it wasn't the same not quite, not that Joey could ever bear to acknowledge that. He always refused to face up to that little niggle that reared its head sometimes.

Joey was close to Alex and a frequent visitor to Manchester where he lived with his girlfriend. In contrast Roxy rarely visited, and when she did the atmosphere was stiff and formal. No surprise there. It had been Joey who had bought Alex up, been there for him, helped with homework, taken him to football, swimming, cycling, cubs, attended parents evenings, sorted out parties, sleepovers and problems. The day he left Alex in his Manchester halls for the first time he'd bid a cheerful goodbye and cried his way home along the M62.

All his brothers had fathered at least one child, even Adrian had managed two sons before deciding, after nine years of marriage, to stop living a lie and come out. Nellie's worst fears realised.

She blamed Eddie (giving him ideas), Freddie (deserting them), Irene (not clever enough), even Joey (too tolerant of that sort of thing).

Adrian and Irene had stayed friendly, so he had been able to maintain contact with his lads, James and George. They were both away at university, James in Leeds and George in Birmingham. Irene had remarried, and when she had a daughter eight years ago Adrian had been very moved, very moved, to be asked to stand godfather.

'Blended families mam, bended families,' said Joey, rubbing her arm, when his mam went into overdrive about the break up of the family and the disintegration of society, repeating the phrase he'd used the year before when Jess had Dexter, and had to resurrect with some force when Jaiden was born two years later.

'It's all around us and you can't hold it against the kiddies.'

'Oh, of course not,' said Nellie, 'poor little souls, it's not their fault, they don't ask to be born.'

She sighed, whilst secretly delighted at being a great-nan, and the bonus of an extra 'grandaughter'.

Joey smiled as he pictured the three moving Nellie to tears with their handmade cards, pictures and creations. With John and Tanya having put in some work for Joey they had earned enough to buy Nellie their first grown up present of a gold watch and Joey knew Nellie would be overjoyed.

Adrian and Irene being civilised about their break up meant Nellie had kept in touch with James and George and being Easter no doubt both boys would be there today.

The lure of being able to see her grandsons had meant Nellie allowed Adrian back into the fold after the initial rantings and ravings, but that didn't extend to his partner of ten years, Andrew, a history lecturer at one of the universities and in Joey's eyes a perfect match for Adrian. Although younger Andrew took responsibility for everything, leaving Adrian free to go where the muse took him.

There was no doubt in Joey's mind that like Jack, Adrian had found someone to nurture him and have a truly satisfying relationship with.

Joey shook his head, he needed to stop this train of thought right now and get back to his car.

The issue, buried deep, but still there, was his resentment of the role he'd been cast into by his family, his grievances about always having to sort out everyone else's problems to the detriment of his own life. Didn't matter how often he tried to reason it away it was still there, festering.

In his darker moments he blamed them for his late marriage to Roxy. If only he'd been in a position to marry before she left the first time, if dad hadn't left, if mam had faced up to her own problems instead of relying on him all the time, if Jack, Adrian, Aveline and Billy had sorted themselves out instead of sitting there waiting for him to do it, he'd have had his child or even children.

There it was again that visceral feeling of wanting his own kid, his own flesh and blood.

A woman walking by caught his eye and from God knows where the words

'Oh, hidin' out down 'ere are we, Mr Boswell, when we're not being shady or bleedin' the state dry.' echoed in Joey's mind.

No, he stood up quickly, he was not giving in to that particular memory. He'd spent twenty-one years firmly pushing that one away every time it surfaced, and he was not giving into it now.

He turned his back on the river and walked briskly back to his car, not his beloved Jag, now residing in auto heaven, but a Mercedes cabriolet, black of course. He turned the ignition on, set the roof to down and as Maria Callas filled the air he pulled away.

Joey cursed silently as the car in front stopped on amber forcing him to a halt as well. The traffic was heavy along Aigburth Road and he felt he'd caught every red light possible. He drummed his fingers impatiently and checked his appearance in the mirror.

Although Joey had thickened out slightly he wasn't carrying any weight and he hadn't lost his hair. He had it shorter now and left it to its natural colour. Joey had given up on leather gear and tended to follow the "Reservoir Dogs' dress code of black suit, white shirt, black tie, often by Agnes B. since he'd discovered she was Quentin Tarantino's chosen designer.

Finally the lights changed and Joey was able to turn left into Dingle Lane.

Maria was just coming to the climax of his favourite aria when his mobile rang cutting dead the music. Cursing again he slowed up in front of the church and answered with an irritable,

"Hello, yes?"

"Aw hey Joey where are yer? Mam won't cut the cake without yer, an' we're all waitin'," shrilled through the speaker.

"Oh, hi Princess, I'm just at the Mount. Be there in a few minutes."

"Ok Joey, tarra then."

Maria returned with the ending of the call, but Joey jabbed it off, slipped it in his pocket and accelerated away. Three minutes later he stopped behind Oswald's car, put the roof up, locked it and walked down to number thirty.

Joey sighed as he passed twenty-eight even though his granddad had been dead for the past thirteen years. He'd been ninety-one before he breathed his last in his own armchair, in his own parlour. A surprisingly gentle, peaceful death. And he'd got to see the 21st century in, not that he was aware of that fact. The dementia that had first shown itself in 1990 had steadily increased and by the time he died his mind had decayed completely.

Joey sighed again, unconsciously squared his shoulders and pushed open the door to number thirty.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

NELLIE'S BIRTHDAY

The noise and warmth hit Joey as soon as he walked in. All eyes turned towards him and cries of welcome rang out. Joey acknowledged them with a cheerful "greetings " and advanced to his mam, sat at the table in front of a huge cake.

"Joey, Oh Joey, I'm overwhelmed by everything, I'm so glad you're here now, I was worried you wouldn't make it. We've waited to cut the cake." His mam gestured to the mound of unwrapped presents around her.

"Don't worry mam, I'm here now, just had a couple of things to sort out first."

Joey bent down to hug and kiss his mam and give her his present. She returned his hug, clasped him to her, then sniffed and opened it.

"Oh luv it's beautiful, oh thank you, oh I'm being spoilt so much today."

Joey moved behind his mam automatically rubbing her shoulders as Aveline started to sing 'happy birthday' and the whole Boswell crew joined in loudly and enthusiastically, clapping and cheering as Nellie cut into the cake.

"Drink Joey?"

He turned to see Susie indicating a row of bottles, cartons, glasses, lemons and every other item a well stocked bar would have. Joey smiled, he'd always liked Susie, she reminded him of the tough scarf and pinny street matriarchs of his youth, not that Susie would have been seen dead in that sort of get-up.

"Vodka and tonic, ice and a slice, please."

"Lemon or Lime?"

"Lime."

A hand suddenly appeared in front of Joey, followed by the rest of Adrian ready to perform his normal welcome. Adrian had also kept his figure and hair, although he favoured a more flamboyant dress style than Joey.

"I saw one of your paintings in the Caledonia the other day Adrian, it was very good."

"Yes, the 'real art in real pubs with real ale' has been very good for me. I've sold more since it started than in the last ten years put together."

If time had been kind to Joey and Adrian it had deserted Jack and Billy with a vengeance. Both overweight, Jack verging on the obese, and still dressed in the jeans, checked shirt and sweatshirt combination of thirty years ago. Not even decent branded gear but shapeless and ill fitting.

A conspicuous absence from the Boswell gathering was Freddie, noted Joey checking round.

"Did dad put in an appearance?"

"No, but I'm not sure he can manage the walk now. I did offer to pick him up on my way to get Chantel and the boys but he declined."

"Oh, not like dad to miss out on free food and drink. I'll pop in later and check he's ok."

Adrian lived to the North of Sefton Park, Irene to the south, and Freddie and Lillian in between to the west. Their little flat, provided by Joey, was sandwiched between Sefton and Princess Parks, giving Freddie a choice of nearby places to sit and dream.

Time seemed to have run out of options and stood still for Aveline.

"Joey," she shrieked. "How are yer?" as she tottered over on heels too high, skirt too short, top too low, not quite as extreme as in her youth, but nowhere near suitable for a woman her age.

The words 'mutton' and 'lamb' floated in and out of Joey's mind as he turned to embrace his sister.

"Can't complain Princess, can't complain."

He caught sight of Ursula and smirked. Ursula had hated all the modelling jobs Aveline had foisted on while she was growing up and had retaliated by studying hard, gaining excellent qualifications and graduating at Cambridge, where she continued to pursue an academic career. A stunning looking girl she had always dressed down, much to her mother's annoyance, albeit in designer kit. Her boyfriend Harry, also an academic type, was looking slightly uncomfortable chatting to Matt.

No one would consider Matt an academic. Two years younger than Ursula he'd left school barely clutching a few odd certificates and joined Billy at The Deli. His good looks and easy manner made him a success with the customers and he was perfectly happy in what he was doing and content to live with his mam and dad.

He disengaged himself from Aveline and moved to speak with Oswald in the parlour.

"Hello Joey."

"Greetings, and how are you this fine day?"

"Very well, thank you and yourself?"

"Fine."

"And Roxy?"

"Same as ever, thank you Oswald."

"And Alex and Hannah?"

"Both good."

"Ah, excellent, excellent."

"So Oswald, how's life at the cathedral?"

"Different to parish life Joey, it is strange living in The Close and being around others."

This somewhat formal exchange masked a deep bond between them. For both of them knew they had fallen passionately for selfish, self-centred women who took constantly but never gave, and had married against their better judgements. Both too decent to leave and seek more fulfilling lives elsewhere.

Although Aveline was too self-absorbed to meet anyone's needs but her own, and had left Oswald to do the child rearing largely unaided, she hadn't had constant affairs, or any at all, as far as Joey was aware, so Oswald had been spared that particular heartache.

The look that passed between them conveyed their feelings and without further words they returned to the kitchen.

And straight into an argument between Billy and Jack.

"I'm telling you it was The Braddocks, soft head"

"No, it was something Heights, them funny Italian ones."

"It wasn't, it was The Braddocks on Netherfield Road."

"Or was it The John Kennedy Heights? It was something Heights!" Billy was beginning to screech.

And Jack louder, "It was The…."

"Hey, hey cut it you two. Enough now."

Joey turned abruptly and went back to the parlour ostensibly to look at the cards, but really to make sure his brothers didn't clock the tears forming in his eyes.

Block 3, John F. Kennedy Heights, Everton Brow, demolished 1999.

Joey had watched it come down and a tiny bit of his heart had broken off and crumbled with the building.

Handmade cards, arty cards, comic cards, sensible appropriate cards, an over-the-top gushy card (Aveline), his own good taste card, and at the end two elderly relative duty cards – one from Francesca and Zac, the other from Alex.

Joey held it in his hand, happy birthday from Alex and Hannah. Just that. He sighed as he replaced it. Nellie had never been able to overcome her deep hatred of Roxy to accept Alex as a grandson, one of the family.

'She's a tart Joey, a tart.'

'I know mam, I know, you've told me. But it's not the little lad's fault. Don't hold it against him.'

'Joey, you just don't know do you luv, you just don't know.'

'Know what?'

'I've seen it with the animals, if there's something wrong with the bitch there'll be something wrong with the young. Stands..'

Joey had walked out straight to his car without another word and driven off with a 'Joey, Joey, Joey?' ringing in his ears.

He'd come back of course a few weeks later, hand forced by a family crisis, but it was another fatal cutting of the strings binding him to his mam.

His dad and Lilo Lil had no problems in accepting Alex. Freddie took anything and everything in his stride and treated the lad in the same way he had his own sons, football on a rec, get up soft lad if you took a fall, cheering Liverpool on the telly, or if he'd had enough 'yellow' mornings, from The Kop itself, and a drink at the local as soon as you were old enough to get served.

Lillian, Joey stopped using the derogatory nickname, deprived of a family of her own, delighted and flattered to be included, spoilt him rotten, but became the mother figure that Roxy wasn't. Lillian's unconditional love for Alex had drawn Joey close to her in a way that he could never have imagined.

Alex remained close to them and Joey couldn't help contrasting his mum's card with the fuss Alex had made for Lillian's 70th birthday, when the five of them had enjoyed a day out and a meal in her favourite restaurant. It wasn't surprising of course but it still saddened Joey that his mam could have been so vindictive in the first place to a little lad.

Composed now Joey re-joined the throng in the kitchen. Watching his mam surrounded by the youngest family members he was pleased she was reaping the benefits of her mellowed attitude to non-blood Boswells, Roxy and Andrew excepted.

Not that Roxy would have visited anyway, she still refused to have anything to do with his family and objected to any time he spent with them. Joey anticipated the cold-shoulder treatment awaiting him for when he got home, but he couldn't say it bothered him anymore.

Andrew, on the other hand, had no problems being around the rest of the family and didn't seem to make any fuss about Adrian visiting Nellie.

As the twenty somethings were making plans for an evening of drunkenness and debauchery in the Ropewalks' clubs, the teens their own little secret meets with their mates, and the youngsters bath and bed, Joey predicted that soon the party would break up and he could have a quiet chat with his mam. Despite the smashing of some of the ties Joey still loved his mam deeply, cared and looked out for her.

"Before you all start to leave I'd just like to say a few words."

"Oh no, Adrian we don't need one of your speeches."

"It's ok Jack, I think this expresses it better than anything I could say."

The sounds of Lou Reed's 'Perfect Day' began to play out.

Joey thanked God he was near the back door and could edge into the yard.

Now the tears did fall. What was it with today?

He leant against the wall, wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and fought to regain control of himself.

As he slipped back in he caught Oswald's concerned glance, but no one else seemed to have noticed.

As he anticipated the house emptied out,

"Joey, you know where I am if you need me."

Joey nodded his appreciation at his brother-in-law, not that he'd be taking up his offer, when he didn't even know himself why he was feeling so fragile.

"So mam, everything ok then?"

"Oh a lovely day Joey, just perfect, well apart, he didn't remember you know, too busy with that tart no doubt."

"Ah well, dad is dad mam, he's not going to change now."

Joey had hoped that when Nellie's relationship had progressed with Derek for a softening of her attitude to life, for less reliance on the family and on him in particular, and for a time that had seemed to be the case. They had been good friends and companions, though Joey suspected, never lovers. Nellie had seemed happier and more content, but Derek's death five years ago had sent Nellie into a spiral of hurts and disappointments and she had grown shriller and more prone to furious, judgemental outbursts with every year that passed.

Billy wandered in.

"Aw hey, plenty of cake left mam," and began devouring some.

Joey was just about to protest when Matt popped back.

"Uncle Joey here's the gas certificate for The Deli, I forgot to give it to you earlier. Aw hey, loads of cake. Can I have some Nan?"

"Of course luv," Nellie smiled fondly.

Joey shook his head, Matt had always seemed far more like Billy than either Aveline or Oswald, probably why they worked so well together.

"Oh, by the way, you haven't got a secret love child kicking around have you Uncle Joey?"

"No, I don't think so, no."

"Only the lad who was promoting the other night looked just like you going by some of mam's old photos. Looked about twenty-five."

"No, nothing to do with me son."

"No, twenty-six years ago he was saving himself for that tart who was busy having other men's babies!" Nellie was gearing up for a rant, all pursed lips and red face.

"Mam, let's not go through all that again. Not today." Joey sighed.

"I don't like seeing you hurt Joey, and she's done nothing but hurt you for the past thirty-five years," Nellie snorted.

"Mam, it's my life, let's just leave it and have a nice chat, ok?" Joey tone was brittle and Nellie knew by past experience it was time to stop.

He turned to Matt.

"About twenty-five you say, more likely to be Shifty's, he was putting it about all over the place then."

"Who's Shifty?"

"Aw, do you remember that Celia, what…"

"Yes, well Billy, Matt doesn't want to hear those stories." Nellie interrupted.

"Oh he…"

"Bill-y," Joy felt the need to intervene.

"I'm still never allowed to finish a sentence in this house am I?"

"I'd better be off Nan, " Matt decided to scarper, "Tell me Monday, Uncle Billy."

Billy finished stuffing his face, "It'd be nice though wouldn't it if you did have a secret son? I mean you're the only…"

Joey raised his eyes and Nellie silently crossed herself looking anxiously at him.

"NO, it would not be nice Billy. Why don't you go next door to your own house and leave me to chat with mam in peace. Alright?"

Even Billy recognised the dangerous edge to Joey's voice and promptly disappeared.

"Oh, thank God Joey, he's getting worse. I do try with him but it's fighting a losing battle." Nellie laid a conciliatory hand on Joey's arm.

"Never mind mam, now let's have that coffee and you can tell me all your news.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

SURELY NOT?

"Hello yes, oh that's great Jack, yeah see you later."

Joey loosened his tie and sat back. Jack had just tied up lettings for the current academic year for the last two houses. Hopeless at the buying and selling game, Jack was great at managing a raft of student lets that Joey's company owned. Back in 1992 when A Place Of Non-Poisonous Substances was barely turning a profit, Joey had reverted to his previous ways of earning a living.

He began to invest the money in houses in Kensington and off Smithdown Road reckoning that the burgeoning student population would want cheap housing close to campuses. Joey reckoned right, the houses were never empty and each generated a decent profit. Joey formed a legitimate business, and took over a unit in Stanhope Street to use as a base.

He employed Jack, and asked Billy to combine work in the shop with his sandwich business.

Joey bought early into the city's business district conversions and rented these out to professionals. After a slow start these had taken off and at the moment Joey had potential tenants ringing up begging for properties.

Recently an almost forgotten part of his property portfolio had become surprisingly profitable. Many years ago Joey had accepted the freeholds of a number of derelict plots in and around Jamaica Street in lieu of a debt and pretty much forgotten about them. He was approached to see if he would lease a plot to a developer keen to try out a warehouse conversion. Figuring he couldn't lose he'd signed a 130 year lease for a generous sum and was slightly shocked when the apartments were a sell out.

Still he cheerfully collected the ground rents and had since leased out a few more plots. The pioneers had been joined by a fringe theatre, artist and recording studios, small craft industries, clubs, and new self-consciously edgy young residents.

Joey had nearly collapsed with laughter a couple of days ago when he saw the area marketed as 'The Baltic Triangle – The Creative Hub'.

Still didn't matter what it was called, it was all adding to the family bank balance, and giving employment to any of them that needed it.

That was Joey all over, providing for his family, determined none of them should go without. Joey was certainly getting a good living and there was enough cash flying about to keep Roxy happy.

The popularising of Liverpool's former desolate industrial areas had given Joey the idea to set Alex and Hannah up in Manchester's Northern Quarter with their little brew house 'The Beer Shack', which was going well.

The shop in Lark Lane had been the least profitable asset, but Joey kept it going after his dad retired for sentimental reasons. Once Lark Lane had benefitted from a regeneration project and became positively trendy Joey decided to convert the shop to 'The Deli', and despite being under Billy's care it had flourished.

Although Joey himself hadn't had cause to use the DHSS, currently called the DWP, he was insistent his family should claim all the available benefits as a matter of principle. After all, Joey even paid tax and national insurance, as did the family members in his employ. Of course, he was careful to ensure that officially they only had the minimum wage so they were eligible for housing benefit, working tax credits, childcare credits and everything else the government provided for the low paid. It did strike Joey as bizarre that they pursued every minor employment, pension or disability claim but cheerfully shelled out millions helping employers get away with paying non-living wages and subsidising their profits. Still it was working to their advantage, he topped up everyone's salaries with cash, and had a few avoidance schemes for himself. But then he wouldn't have been Joey Boswell if he hadn't, and these days he paid highly for a decent accountant.

Although he had no material need he'd kept his hand in with his old trade, he didn't do it as much as previously, but he couldn't resist the thrill, the adrenalin rush, the sheer riskiness of it all.

Joey checked the time, he could just catch Billy before he closed up to make sure he'd sorted out mam's heating allowance. He locked his desk, called through to Jess that that he was leaving for the day, and went.

"Hi Uncle Joey, want a coffee?" Matt flourished the pot.

"Yes thanks. Is Billy here?"

"Out the back. Billy!"

"Oh, hi Joey."

"Did you sort mam's heating?"

"I did, and guess what?"

"I don't go in for guessing games, Billy." Joey shook his head.

"That woman, you know that Martina from years back, well she must be some sort of boss there because they got her to come and deal with some fella kicking off. And when she'd finished do you know what happened?"

"No Billy, what happened?" Joey sighed.

"She came over and said, 'Well hello Mr Boswell, junior, still trying to bleed the state dry are we?'

Right out with it, in front of everyone.

'No I said, it's me mam I said, and she's a pensioner I said.'

Then she goes, 'Alright Mr Boswell, alright, spare me the sol, solly something or another' and disappeared."

"In a puff of smoke?" grinned Matt.

At the same time as Joey supplied, "soliloquy".

"No, through the door."

"Yes, sounds like her." Said Joey, a catch in his throat. "Happy days they were the eighties, happy days." He went off into his own thoughts.

"Our Joey always got the better of her back then when she was on the desk. It used to be called the DHSS and they had their office in Steers House in Canning Place. Course it wasn't all posh like it is now, it was a right dump. You took your life in your hands round there at dark, it was bad enough daytime. Do you remember the bus station Joey? All the things that happened there! And the Dolphin with the periscope?" Billy prattled on.

The late unlamented Steers House had been demolished in 2000 for the glitter of The Paradise Project better known as Liverpool 1. Joey had watched it come down and another tiny bit of his heart had broken off and crumbled.

"Joey?"

Joey jumped, "Billy?"

"That's good isn't it?"

"Course it is son, course it is." answered Joey smoothly.

He drained his coffee, "Anyway, must get off home."

"Oh, and he's called Joe, uncle Joey, and he's only twenty not twenty-five."

"Who is?" Joey was completely confused.

"Your secret love child, remember?" Matt teased.

"Oh hey, our Joey was a married man by then. He wouldn't have done that sort of thing, not our Joey. Stop tormenting him."

Joey fled to his car and drove blindly the short distance to Otterspool Prom, parked up and went to sit on his favourite seat.

Twenty? No, surely not. Looking like me? Don't be ridiculous. Wouldn't I have had a visit from the Child Support Agency? But Joe? Shifty? Shifty was in Wandsworth twenty-one years ago.

Tangled thoughts and questions raced through and round his brain.

'Oh, hidin' out down 'ere are we, Mr Boswell, when we're not being shady or bleedin' the state dry.'

This time Joey didn't push the memory away.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

FRIDAY 30TH APRIL 1993

Joey adjusted his sun glasses and stretched back on the bench. He had come to his favourite place to think, Otterspool, pretty much deserted theses days. The bright sunny day was in complete contrast to Joey's mood as he contemplated the mess that was his life. He knew marrying Roxy was a recipe for disaster, but he had gone ahead and done it anyway. Just as he had always known that going back to her time after time was asking for trouble, but he did it every single time. Like he said he couldn't keep away from her, she was in his guts and there had never really been anyone else. Much as he knew he'd made a series of mistakes, much as he knew he was in for a life of heartache Joey couldn't bring himself to leave. And not just Roxy, there was Alex.

Joey had always felt sorry for the little lad, sitting, watching and waiting silently for his mam while she lurched from crisis to crisis, too wrapped up in herself to parent him.

Joey had accused his mam of caring too much, said it was worse than not caring at all. Being married to Roxy had made Joey revise that view.

Joey hadn't bargained on how much he'd come to feel for the lad, the overpowering love and care, when he made the fateful decision to marry Roxy at Gretna Green. He couldn't understand why Roxy wouldn't let him adopt the lad though.

'There's no need Joey, he's fine as he is Joey, I don't want him tied down into the Boswell gilded cage Joey.'

And Joey had given in, as always.

'Oh, hidin' out down 'ere are we, Mr Boswell, when we're not being shady or bleedin' the state dry.'

Joey started, he knew that voice so well.

"Miss Martina, what are you doing out of your life-proof plastic box?"

"Trying, unsuccessfully it seems, to escape the likes of you Mr Boswell."

Joey laughed and slid along the bench to make room for her, and to his surprise she sat down closer to him than he'd expected.

"So, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you Mr Boswell."

"And er Shifty?"

"In Wandsworth just into a four year stretch."

"Oh." Joey had never understood just what it was Martina could see in his cousin.

They chatted for the next couple of hours, Joey opening up to Martina about Roxy in a way he'd never felt able to with anyone else, she was a surprisingly empathetic listener. In return she had unburdened herself about Shifty.

"Shall we go for a drink?" suggested Joey, as soon as it was near opening time.

"Haven't you got any work to do, Mr Boswell?"

"Oh, it can wait sweetheart, it can wait."

They went to the Belvedere, continuing their conversation, but drank far too much, too quickly.

As they left unsteadily at afternoon closing Martina observed, "You can't be driving now Mr Boswell."

"No sweat sweetheart, we'll get a taxi and I'll pick up the car tomorrow." He waved over a taxi. "Where to sweatheart?"

"JFK heights please, Mr Boswell."

"There for the lady then please, and Woolton Road for me."

Martina leant against Joey in the cab causing him to go into meltdown, he ventured a tentative kiss and to his amazement she responded enthusiastically.

"I'll cancel that second instruction then shall I pal?" smirked the taxi-driver.

"Looks like it." Joey bunged him a fiver and allowed Martina to lead him in.

Block 3, 11th floor, out of the lift, through the front door and straight into Martina's bedroom, the softness and comfort inside contrasting with the squalor outside.

Martina glued her mouth to his and they crashed down onto her bed.

Later, laying back stroking her hair and gazing dreamily around, he was suddenly jolted back to reality.

"Here you'd better be off, me mam'll be back soon and she'll go spare if she catches anyone here," Martina switched on the radio.

'Drank sangria in the park and later when it gets dark we'll go home.' Lou Reed came over the airwaves.

Reluctantly Joey got up and dressed.

'Oh, it's such a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you.'

Joey knelt down and Martina ruffled his hair groggily.

"No more now Mr Boswell, we need to put today in a box and forget about it for everyone's sake."

He tried to speak but his throat had closed up so he nodded sadly and left. He hadn't seen Martina since.

It took him three goes to find a taxi prepared to pick him up and when he did get one he had to pay in advance.

"Oakfield Avenue, off Woolton Road, Gateacre end, please."

He leant back and closed his eyes,

Such a perfect day.

Joey would spend the next twenty-one years trying to keep that memory and his feelings towards Martina shut out of his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

FINDING MARTINA

"Joey, Joey, have you listened to a word I've been saying?"

Joey suddenly realised Susie was looking at him with amused exasperation.

"Eh no, sorry sweetheart, tell me again." Joey left his thoughts behind.

"It can wait." She left the office shaking her head and laughing.

Joey roused himself, 'come on son, snap out of it.'

Two minutes later his mind had drifted back to the throw away tease from Matt last week. He could have a twenty year old out there, a result of his one and only lapse from the marital bed.

Had he got Martina pregnant? He certainly hadn't used any contraception. If he'd thought about it at all, which he hadn't until now, he would have assumed that Martina was taking care of all that. He supposed the only way to lay this to rest was to ask her. And how on earth was he going to do that, he didn't even know her surname? And what sort of approach do you take to that kind of question? After all, he hadn't seen her since that day twenty-one years ago. Supposing it was all a coincidence. He could imagine Martina's reaction.

'Forget it son, forget it.'

Joey tried forcing himself to concentrate on some work to no avail. He came to a sudden decision.

"Susie, I'm just popping out, I'm not sure how long I'll be. If anyone wants me get their details and I'll ring them back."

Twenty minutes later Joey approached the enquiries desk of the High Park Street Job Centre where Billy had seen her.

"Greetings."

"Yeah?"

"Would it be possible to speak with Martina please?"

"Who?"

"Martina."

"No-one works here with that name mate."

"She was here Tuesday last week she spoke to me brother."

"No, no-one works here with that name."

"Look, there was a problem, some-one got her, she came out, sorted it, then spoke to me brother, and now I'd like to speak to her." Joey spoke slowly and clearly.

"No-one… oh, you mean Miss O'Riordan, she doesn't work here." The clerk smiled.

"Well, she was here last week," Joey's patience was beginning to run out.

"Yeah, but just for the day."

"So, how may I contact her?"

"Our chief was on holiday and the deputy was off sick so she came down for the day."

"Well, could you tell me how I can contact her please?"

"She's the area manager."

'Dear God, where do they get the staff from?' Joey's patience was about to expire, "And where might I contact her?"

"The Municipal Offices."

"Thank you." Joey inclined his head, 'about bloody time' going through his mind.

At least Joey now had a name and job title to go on.

He manoeuvred into the last spot in Victoria Street car park and sauntered to the entrance of the Municipal Offices. Joey felt unaccountably glad that Martina had a nicer working environment than the Job Centre, though from Billy's tale she could still hack it at the coal face when needed. The thought bought a smile to his face, maybe she wouldn't have changed too much.

"Greetings, may I speak with Miss O'Riordan, area manager for DWP please?"

"Name pal?"

"Mr Joseph Boswell."

"Hold on."

Joey waited, flicking unseeing through the leaflets.

"Mr Boswell?"

Her voice hadn't changed, music to his ears.

He turned, she looked older, but as easy on the eye as ever. Figure barely changed, hair up, wonder what it looks like down, great legs he couldn't help noticing as he approached her.

"Martina, can we talk?"

"About what Mr Boswell?" Martina's eyes were apprehensive and her expression fleetingly guilty. It suddenly hit Joey that she knew exactly what he had come about.

"I think you probably know about what. Can we?"

She rolled her eyes, "I can't say I haven't been dreading that this day might come sometime."

'Oh God! Question answered', Joey could barely get the words out, "So, can we talk?"

"Not here Mr Boswell, but I can have lunch in," she glanced at her watch, "about ten minutes."

"I'll be in the car park."

She nodded and turned.

Joey watched her go back upstairs, taken aback by his own reaction to her presence.

'Behave son, behave.'

Joey leant against his car, waiting and reflecting that he'd had a similar conversation with Roxy, after she'd delivered a note to his mother accusing him of fathering her son, once Stan had left her and she needed some-one in her life. Not that he was Alex's biological father, although he considered himself his father in every other sense.

When he saw Martina approaching he opened the door for her before getting in himself.

"Do you want me to drive somewhere?"

"No, here's fine."

Right out with it then. Though her reactions had already given him his answer, he wanted to hear it from her. He turned to face her, determined to keep his voice from breaking.

"Do we have a son?"

Martina turned and looked him straight in the eye, "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Joey's voice was begining to crack.

"And what good would that have done Mr Boswell? You were a married man with responsibilities for a child already." Martina spoke carefully and steadily.

"But…"

"After all, we wouldn't be the first and certainly won't be the last people to get drunk, have sex and have an unplanned pregnancy as a result." Martina kept her tone even.

"But you were left on your own…"

Martina interrupted, "Not on me own Mr Boswell, I had me family and I was quite capable of making me own decisions. I wasn't gonna run the risk of breaking up your marriage. I can accept responsibility for me own actions. You didn't force me into getting drunk. Course if I'd been sober…"

"You wouldn't have gone to bed with me in the first place," Joey broke in dejectedly.

"I was gonna say I'd thought to go to the clinic and get the morning after pill but I was hanging too much."

Despite the turmoil of emotions churning round in him Joey was touchingly relieved by her refutal of his suggestion.

"What happened?"

"I got sick, fat, tired and irritable, and after nine months shoved a baby into this world and bloody painful it was too." Martina's sarcastic tone had crept back.

Joey laughed, it felt so good to be with Martina again.

"Does he know?" Joey was serious again.

"Not your name no, I've never told him that just explained the circumstances." Martina's measured tone returned.

"Oh,"

"May I ask how you came to suspect?"

"One of my nephews has been teasing me about a lad who looks like me, calling him my secret love child, but saying he was about twenty-five. I knew I couldn't have a child that age so took no notice. A few days ago he told me his name was Joe and he was twenty. It set me thinking."

Martina nodded understandingly, "And I thought we were just far away enough from all the little Boswells tethered by the apron strings to the Palace of Kelsall Street for their paths to cross."

"It was our Aveline's lad and they're in town, and he gets out a lot. Said he was a promoter at some club down in the Ropewalks." Joey was relieved to be able to keep the conversation away from the question of why Martina hadn't told him.

So was Martina, "Sounds about right. He's inherited more than looks from you, I'm afraid. When he was ten I found him using my laptop to download songs from file-sharing sites, burn them and sell them at school. By the time he was thirteen he'd moved into downloading porn films, burning them and selling them, mind you at least it was his own computer by then."

Joey couldn't help grinning.

"If you don't mind me asking Mr Boswell, how did you track me down?"

"Well, you spoke to our Billy last week. Wasn't too difficult after that."

There was an awkward silence, Martina keen to bring the meeting to a close and get away, Joey unable to think straight, but desperate to keep Martina with him for as long as possible.

The question burst out before Joey had a chance to think about it, "Can I see him?"

Martina shrugged, "It's nothing to do with me Mr Boswell, he's a…"

"Martina!" Joey was nettled, "Can't you call me by me name – it's Joey as if you didn't know."

"grown man. I'll speak to him and give him your number if you like, but after that it's up to him." Martina chose to ignore the interruption.

"We've been in the most intimate situation two people can be in, we have a son together and you're still calling me Mr Boswell," as did Joey.

"Number," Martina was holding out her phone still ignoring him, but unable to resist a "fill that in."

Joey obeyed but defiantly altered the Mr to Joey on the name she'd typed in.

She made to get out of the car.

"Martina, can I have yours?" Joey held out a hand to stop her.

"Why would you want mine?"

"So I can speak to you."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Why do you think?"

"Mr Boswell," pause, "senior, I told you it's up to him. I'm not telling him what to do one way or another he's…."

"A grown man, yes you said. But there are things I need to know that he can't tell me." Joey was beginning to get desperate.

"What things?"

"How long have you got? Martina, you can't just duck out."

"Mr Boswell you've not been thinking about it for the last twenty years."

"Not about the possibility of a child no, but I have thought about that day and what might have been, and more often than you can imagine." Joey was becoming choked, tears in his eyes.

Martina scrutinised him, anger she could have coped with, but not tears. She took out her phone and pressed call against Joey's number.

Joey answered, "Hello you."

She gave him a resigned smile and got out of the car.

Joey watched her through his tears until she was out of sight.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

GATEACRE

"There's some rubbish on TV," Joey snaked his arm round his wife to try and reach the remote.

"Don't Joey, I'm watching this."

Joey shook his head and drew his wife to him. His eyes were clouded, not that Roxy ever noticed.

Five weeks since he'd spoken to Martina and nothing. No phone call. Not a word. Joey wasn't sure what he'd expected to happen, so many different scenes had played out in his mind, but he hadn't expected total silence.

He'd thought about ringing or going to see Martina, but instinct told him she would be antagonised and he didn't want to get in the wrong with her.

He was relieved Martina hadn't seemed angry with him and he believed her when she said she'd been honest with her – their son about him. Deception and manipulation weren't her style. He had no doubt that she would have relayed their conversation and passed on his number. And as she said he was a grown man, it was up to him what happened next.

"Joey can't you wait till the programme's finished, I told you I was watching it." Roxy was in complaining mode.

Joey looked down and was surprised by what he saw.

"Ah, how times have changed, you'd have dragged me into that bedroom in the past not wanted to watch telly," he retorted, silently giving a prayer thanks for the changing times. He must have been on auto-pilot for he certainly wasn't in the mood.

Joey's mobile rang, ignoring his wife's muttered, "Oh God, what now?" he looked at it, number withheld, frowning he answered' "Hello, yes?"

"Mr Boswell?"

"I am he."

"Joe"

"Oh, er, hi."

"Is it not a good time?"

Joey disentangled himself from Roxy, stood up and walked out of the room mouthing 'client' at her.

"No, it's fine, look."

"Mam said you'd like to meet."

"Well yes, if it's ok with you." Joey was struggling to keep his feelings of euphoria under control.

"I wouldn't have bothered ringing if it weren't now would I?"

It's not only me he's inherited characteristics from popped into Joey's mind, bringing a smile to his face.

"When would be good for you?"

Joe replied coolly, "Tomorrow 12.30 at The Weather Report? Slater Street."

"Yes fine," was about all Joey could get out.

"Mam said, I just need to look in the mirror to recognise you."

"So I understand."

"See you tomorrow then, bye."

"Bye."

Joey clutched his phone to him, leant against the wall, took some steadying breaths, and sent a thank you heavenwards, before he returned to the sitting room.

"Now where was I?"

"Don't bother Joey, I know I'm way down the list, not as important as the family, or one of your clients, or…"

Same old Roxy, same old complaints.

Relief surged through Joey, he kissed his wife's forehead and made off to bed.

He knew Roxy in a huff would make for a spare room and he was grateful to know there'd be no explanations required for what he anticipated was going to be a restless night.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE SON YOU ARE MEETING FOR THE FIRST TIME?

Joey hesitated before walking in, not the type of place he frequented. Young, fashionable, real ale, craft beer, fusion food, of a type that had sprouted up in the city centre over the past few years. He was apprehensive about this meeting, trying to imagine how he would have reacted at that age to something like this and he gave the lad credit for choosing to meet on his own turf.

He drew breath and went in, glanced round the virtually empty interior, not here yet then, walked towards the bar and stopped dead.

A tall slim young man, trendily scruffy but in gear Joey recognised as costing a small fortune, hair tied back in a shaved pony tail, neatly trimmed beard, just paying for a drink, turned, caught sight of Joey, and acknowledged him unsmilingly, "What you having?"

"Oh er, vodka and tonic please, thank you."

Joey had a sudden attack of nerves, he could see his younger self looking at him, defensive, wary, unsure, his own feelings reflected back.

They moved to a table.

"So, how are you then?"

"Yeah, good thanks."

"Martina?"

"Yeah, same."

An awkward silence, what did you say to the twenty year old son you were meeting for the first time?

"Bombay Bicycle Club, Feel," Joe spoke first.

"Sorry?" Joey was lost.

"You were looking at the screen. Apt eh?"

"Oh, right." In truth Joey had barely noticed the screen, he'd had a vague idea it was a trailer for a Bollywood film, and he hadn't listened to the lyrics so, he had no idea whether they were apt or not.

"Er, did you tell your mam we were meeting?"

"Yeah. She's never blamed you, in fact she's consistently protected you, she's always been honest about what happened and about the decisions she made."

Joey could feel the barely suppressed anger and disdain radiating out. Fair enough though, he was certain he'd have felt the same in the circumstances.

"I wish she'd told me."

"Do you?" For the first time the lad looked him straight in the eyes.

Joey held his look.

"I do, yes. I'm not saying it would have been plain sailing, there would have been my wife and child to consider, but I could have, I mean, what she'd wanted, we could, and if she hadn't wanted, at the very least, well, I would have supported her financially. It can't have been easy…" he faltered, finding it hard to give coherent expression to his confused feelings and disconcerted at the younger man's gaze penetrating him as though trying to read his soul.

Aveline had always said he had enigmatic eyes and looking at Joe he finally understood what she meant.

Joe broke the silence, "So I have an elder brother or sister then? Any younger?"

"Well, not quite, he's my wife's from a previous relationship."

Joe rolled his eyes, "Mam said there was nothing straightforward about you."

"And no, none younger."

Another pause.

"So, what do you do then?" Joey had a go at getting a conversation underway.

"Oh, bit of this and that, you know."

"Promoting?"

"Yeah, amongst other things."

"Martina said you had an interest in supply and demand."

Joe looked puzzled.

"Burning discs to sell at school." Joey smiled conspiratorially.

Joe laughed, "She told you about that, then. God she went mental, especially about the porn. It was tame though compared to what kids see now."

Having seen Martina in action Joey could readily imagine the scene and laughed himself. Some of the latent tension between the two eased slightly.

"It was a good earner at the time though, course that was before every kid had a smartphone with internet access."

"Did it teach you anything?"

"Well it taught me not to do stuff at home. It's hard to hide anything from me mam though, she's so sharp. Fortunately plenty of me mates had mams who didn't care about what was going on so I could operate out of theirs. I think me mam always worried about me falling under Shifty's influence."

Joey was taken aback, he hadn't considered his cousin playing any part in all this.

"Shifty? Is he around then?"

"Do you know Shifty?"

"Know him! He's me cousin."

"Bloody hell!" Joe looked shocked, "Mam's never said anything. He must have worked out who me dad was then. I mean with the name, and looking at you it's pretty apparent."

"Did he never say anything?" Joey found it hard to believe that his cousin had kept his gob shut.

"No, not a word."

"Perhaps Martina asked him not to."

"Be the first and only thing she's ever asked him not to do that he's stuck to then." Joe's tone was caustic.

Joey forced himself to keep quiet. He'd always hated the way Shifty treated Martina, he'd tried to warn her about him in such a roundabout way she never realised it was a warning, and made a silly claim for an increase in Mongy's allowance so he could offer her some comfort after Shifty had spectacularly let her down for the first time.

Joe continued, "Actually he's always ok to me, never pretends to be a father or anything like that, but he is easy going and generous."

Joey noticed the present tense, "He's around at the moment then?"

Joe shook his head, "No, he's in Winson Green, got about five years to do I think. He was put away a couple of years ago. He's been in and out all through my life. Mam says each occasion he can't come back, but she relents every time. She never goes to visit him though."

Joey made a firm decision to say nothing, after all it seemed Shifty had done more for the lad than he had. His face must have betrayed him all the same.

Joe nodded, "Yeah, I feel like that, I mean I don't mind him as a bloke, but I hate the way he treats me mam. And it's not like she can't look after herself, but she's got a blind spot where Shifty's concerned. Doesn't matter what I say or me nan and grandad said."

Joey smiled resignedly, it seemed Martina was as hooked on an unsuitable and unfulfilling relationship as he was. One that was totally incomprehensible to everyone else.

"So, do you see a lot of your grandparents then?"

"I used to before they died. Of course me nan looked after me a lot when I was little, and me grandad was always like a dad. Said he was grateful to get another stab at it after messing up with me uncle." A sadness passed over Joe's face.

Joey couldn't help sighing.

"Sorry, I wasn't meaning to get at you particularly.' Joe added quickly.

Joey spoke his thoughts aloud without meaning to, "It never crossed my mind, Martina being pregnant, I mean we weren't kids, both in our thirties, it's the sort of thing that's not supposed to happen to you at that age."

"Has Shifty never mentioned me to you?" Joe was on his own train of thought.

"I haven't seen Shifty since, well there was a bit of bother with the family, must have been about, oh twenty-two/three years ago."

Joe smiled knowingly, "Ah, I bet he rinsed some-one. He's done mum more than once but she just makes excuses for him."

Joey's eyes narrowed, "Something like that. What's yours?"

"A pint of the Liverpool Organic please."

Joey put the fresh drinks down. "So, whereabouts do you live then?"

"Mount Street, you?"

"Gateacre, most of the family are on the Dingle or around Sefton Park. Apart from our Aveline, she's at the Cathedral Close, her husband's a canon there."

"Oh, on the other side then?"

Although the logical side of Joey knew it should make no difference, he felt irrationally pleased that Joe wasn't a proddy. He'd had no idea what foot Martina kicked with, but somehow the knowledge that the three of them shared their faith, however lapsed they were, seemed to him to bind them together in some small but significant way.

"Yes, and me mam still hasn't truly forgiven her for marrying a damp proddy vicar even though it was twenty-six years ago."

"You've got a big family, yeah?

Joey nodded.

"Have you told any of them?"

"No, not yet, well, I'm still trying to get my head round it all."

"Please don't, at least not until I've worked out just how I feel and I've spoken more to me mam. That is, of course, if you want to anyway."

"Fine, fine. Look I'm truly sorry for the way…"

Joe cut in, "You don't need to apologise. I mean I'm old enough to realise you don't assume that every time you have casual sex with some-one they're gonna get pregnant. And then make a decision not to tell you."

He didn't quite keep the disapproving tone out of his voice.

Joey wondered just how Martina had described that day, and was about to protest it hadn't been entirely like that when he thought better of it.

"Do you think your mam would be ok if I asked to meet her?" Joey kept his voice as business like as he could.

Joe eyed him sharply, then shrugged, "You'd have to ask her, I guess she owes you some sort of explanation." He didn't sound entirely convinced.

They finished their drinks in silence. Joey painfully aware that his son was reserving judgement on him.

"Well, things to do," Joe got up and held out his hand.

"Will I see you again?" Joey shook it.

"I'll ring sometime, yeah."

"Great."

Joey returned to the bar and ordered another drink.

Sitting back down and starting to replay the meeting in his mind, he noticed that the song Joe deemed as apt played out again. This time Joey watched and listened intently. Bit deep, he wasn't sure which one of them his son thought it was apt for, unless, he thought with a jolt, the lad had a direct line into that bit of Joey's heart that Martina had unwittingly occupied for years.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

PRETTY FLAMINGO

"Seats in use mate?"

"No, feel free" Joey smiled.

'On our block all of the guys call her flamingo.'

Joey cringed at the massacring of the song. He remembered seeing Elvis Costello perform this with Roxy back in the days when they'd been happy in each others company. He hadn't thought karaoke was so popular. He'd suggested the Station as he'd always considered it an old boys pub and therefore it was unlikely they'd run into anyone either of them knew. He sipped his drink.

"Strange place to chose for a chat Mr Boswell. I can't even hear myself."

Joey looked up and there was Martina's familiar smirk adorning her face.

'And one sweet day I'll make her mine, pretty flamingo'

"I didn't realise, I've not been in here in years, I thought it'd be dead this time of the afternoon." Joey was thrown. He'd spent the week since he saw Joe trying to come to terms with the whole messy situation and process his feelings about Martina. He stood up. "We can move on."

"It's raining Mr Boswell, I don't fancy the prom."

"No, I was thinking of Richard Hamiltons or.."

"Not the Belvedere, Mr Boswell." Martina had an air of finality.

"The Hibernian."

"Richard Hamiltons is ok by me Mr Boswell. Joseph'll probably be in the Hibernian, he's got something on there later."

After an uneventful journey they found a quiet corner and settled down with their drinks.

"Well?" Martina gave Joey a piercing look.

"Well what?" Joey was playing for time.

"Well, what was it you wanted to talk about Mr Boswell?" Martina was keen to get this meeting out of the way.

"Please Martina, drop the Mr Boswell."

He paused, "You know I've met Joe."

"I heard, yeah."

Joey hesitated struggling to find the right words.

"You want a potted history?"

"Not exactly, I mean what happened when you found out you were pregnant, and why you thought it was a good idea not to tell me?

Martina was intent on keeping this conversation flippant, "I told you, I got sick, fat…"

Joey was equally intent on getting some answers, "No Martina, please be serious."

"I think I went into a state of shock to be honest, and I didn't come out of it till he was born. I stayed with me mam, took maternity leave and went back to work when he was six months. When we were cleared out in '98 I was offered a flat in Corinth Tower so Joseph and I moved there. He started school, I stayed at work, did the rounds of different offices once Steers House went. Course Corinth was cleared out as well a few years later."

Martina stopped for a drink.

"I never got round to asking why you were at your mams? I thought you had your own place." Joey had often wondered about this in the ensuing years, speculating on what might have happened if he'd been able to stay a bit longer.

"I did, but Shifty got into a bit of trouble so I sold up…"

Joey made an inarticulate noise.

"It was a help to me mam and all of course."

"Where did you go next?"

"I was beginning to take it personally by then, JFK Heights, Steers House, Corinth Tower, so I decided to go for a listed house and moved to Mount Street. I'd had a couple of promotions so I could just about afford the mortgage and I thought the council had got passed the stage of pulling down grade two listed buildings. Joseph was due to go to secondary and we'd been offered a house at Norris Green. I didn't want him growing up and going to school there, it'd been bad enough where we were."

Martina took another drink.

"Martina, why didn't you tell me?' Joey's voice was gentle.

Oh God, not that question again, "Mr Boswell, Joey, I didn't feel I could. I mean you were a married man and I felt it was my mistake, I didn't want to cause you any trouble or to…"

"Martina, it was as much my responsibility as yours. I know the situation was awkward, but we could have worked something out, things could have been different…" Joey halted unable to put into words exactly what he wanted to say.

Martina's voice hardened, "Things were fine Mr B – Joey, I managed. Me mam and dad weren't exactly impressed but they stuck by me. We were ok."

It became clear to Joey that meeting in pubs was not the way to get Martina to open up. He'd have to think of somewhere else for next time. He decided to let it drop for now.

"Shifty?"

"Well he's been around off and on, mainly off. He's spent a fair bit of time inside.

"Does he know?

"He's never asked and I've never told him. He might have an opinion, he's never voiced it though. He tends to treat Joseph like a little brother when he's about."

Joey, watching carefully, noted mention of Shifty had caused a slight shift in Martina's countenance. He reached over and took her hands in his.

"Martina you should have married me when I asked you, saved us both years of grief."

The look Martina gave Joey was priceless. Joey felt the years drop away, it was 1984 again and they were facing each other in the DHSS.

"When did you ask me?"

"1986, I said with your charm and my academics we could live in Gateacre."

"Oh, that was a proposal, was it?" Martina disengaged her hands. "Actually Mr –Joey I don't like Gateacre, too far out. I prefer it where I am."

"What do they call it now, Northern Georgian and Cultural Quarter?"

"Yeah, something like that, mind it wasn't like that when we moved in, it was still run down and cheap. It's only since I've been area manager that we've managed to get the house completely fixed up. We were only able to use two floors for years. It got easier once Joseph got earning as well."

Joey winced, clearly things hadn't been entirely ok despite Martina's glib reassurances.

"I feel I let you down," he felt the need to say something about his lack of support down the years, even if he hadn't dreamt there was anything he ought to be contributing to.

Not again, Martina sighed, "How do you work that one out Joey?"

"It all feels wrong, I mean you were raising my child and I wasn't doing anything. Seems I've been providing for everyone in the family apart from me own son and his mother."

"Would have been hard for you M – Joey when you weren't aware of his existence and I was perfectly capable of providing for myself and him too as it happens."

"No…"

"Look Joey, I made my decision and lived with the consequences. It seemed right at the time and I haven't regretted it. I know it was a bit tough on Joseph but he was hardly the only kid without a dad in school. I've never lied to him about what happened or made you out to be the villain of the piece." Martina used her best area manager tone.

"No, he said. You're an amazing woman Martina."

"You can cut the flattery, Mr Boswell." Martina shook her head and raised her eyes with a disbelieving half smile.

"No, I mean it. He's a great lad and it wouldn't have been easy despite what you keep saying." Joey stopped, unable to trust himself not to burst into tears.

Martina steered the conversation away, "How's your life been progressing anyway?"

"Oh ok, business is good, got the house in Gateacre, decent car."

"What happened to your supposedly 'loaned' jag?"

"At peace in auto-heaven." Joey smiled.

"Still taking care of the family?" Martina rolled her eyes familiarly.

"Yeah, I mean you do, don't you? I've always had to, ever since me dad started straying and mam was too fraught. I've always felt I had to provide any way I could. Some ways better than others."

"Keeping on the right side of the tax man these days?" Martina smirked again, her eyes glinting.

"Yeah, that was one of me less successful schemes anyway." Joey started to relax a bit.

"Ironic then it was the one you got caught for."

"I know, I've often thought that. Still it taught me summat."

"Pay your taxes."

"Employ a good accountant."

"Typical Boswell." Martina shook her head again, still smirking.

Martina noted he'd avoided talking about his personal life, not that it was any of her business.

Joey was just thinking how right it felt to be sitting talking with her and of asking her to join him for dinner when she said, "It's time I was going. I've a play to watch at 7.30 and I need to get ready."

"Very cultural, I'll drive you home." Joey hid his disappointment.

"It's only round the corner Mr Bo - Joey, I can walk thanks, and I'm not sure cultural is the word, more alternative I imagine. But I promised." Martina was relieved he'd shut up about her actions twenty odd years ago, and wanted to get off before he started again. She couldn't believe he was going to let her off the hook about it.

"It's still raining, don't want you getting wet now do we?" Joey was determined to keep Martina with him as long as possible.

When the car stopped, Joey gave her a strained smile and a cautious "Perhaps we could meet again soon, there's still so much I'd like to know."

"Yeah, perhaps. Thanks for the lift." Martina got out without another word.

Joey waited in the car pretending to fiddle with the music, but in reality noting which house she went into.

'And one sweet day I'll make her mine, pretty flamingo.'


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

FALLOUT

ROXY

It slowly occurred to Roxy that there was something amiss with Joey. He had always come and gone, done his own thing, been evasive about his night-time activities, but recently he had become increasingly distracted and remote. It wasn't even his usual moody withdrawing, she recognised that and tended to ignore it until he got over it.

No, this was something different, something she hadn't encountered before.

She went through his pockets, laptop, tablet, phone, desk, nothing.

She actually overcame her hatred of any involvement with Joey's family and spoke to Jess to see if work or the family was the problem. That drew a blank as well.

Health? Joey seemed well, hadn't mentioned feeling poorly. She knew his dad had a dodgy heart and had found out in his fifties, and wondered if that was it. She hadn't noticed him getting breathless though.

She had asked him of course, several times, and he had denied there was anything wrong. Trouble was, frequently operating on the wrong side of the law, Joey had acquired the ability to lie convincingly.

Roxy had loved Joey in the early turbulent years of their relationship. Once she understood that for him, family would always come first, she had kept her options open.

Pregnant, she ran away to Manchester where she met Stan. They married, and Roxy pregnant with Stan's child moved back to Liverpool. When she saw Joey some of the old feelings returned and she thought she still loved him.

Stan found out about Joey, assaulted her, and in the resulting mess dumped her and Alex on Joey. Joey, unable to cope with it all, had sorted out housing for them then called it a day. She had lost the baby. Later she tried to patch things up with Stan but it hadn't worked.

Desperate, she contacted Joey, convinced she could hook him in, and after a few false starts she and Joey had tried again. When she realised Joey was still a slave to his family she decided to cut her losses and moved to Birmingham then Bristol. But Joey had never been able to leave her alone, ringing her after long breaks and disrupting her peace of mind, never giving her the chance to settle.

'Dog in the manger' her best friend had said, 'he doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to either.'

'You have the boy now, go for an economic marriage.' said her mother.

When he had married her she had been dumbfounded, but delighted. Joey had insisted on living back in Liverpool, but she had felt Gateacre was just about far enough away from the Boswell family.

They settled down, Joey was a good provider, and he cared for Alex. There was plenty of money for Roxy to socialise, visit the health club, shop and lunch.

He tolerated her affairs, but still put his birth family first. Oedipus was alive and well and living in Gateacre.

Despite what everyone thought Roxy did love Joey, or at any rate the lifestyle he had always offered.

But now something was wrong and she had no idea what to do about it.

* * *

><p><span>JOEY<span>

Once more Joey found sleep hard to come by. He lay awake staring at the ceiling, acutely aware of Roxy sleeping by his side.

Roxy, always Roxy, the one who'd captured his heart and broken it more times than he'd cared to remember. The one he couldn't leave no matter how she behaved. Joey had done his fair share of heart breaking in his youth, but he had paid up with interest since the day he met Roxy Hartwell.

Whilst Alex was growing up Joey had been determined to provide a stable home for him, whatever the cost to himself, and he had done so. He remembered vividly the abandonment he had felt when his dad was chasing after Lilo Lil and swore he'd never inflict that on anyone else.

But Alex had been living a settled life in Manchester for years, so why did he stay?

Although he'd learnt to live through her affairs, they still caused him pain. He still felt sick to the stomach each time she started one up. They were never serious or long lasting but it always hurt. Not only did she refuse to mix with his family, she sulked whenever he did. They rarely did anything together anymore, barely spoke sometimes. Frequently didn't even sleep in the same room.

So, what kept him there?

Comfort? Roxy kept a good home and had never expected him to participate in domestic chores.

Habit? Had he become so used to this way of life that he couldn't contemplate any other way?

Sex? Roxy certainly knew how to use that to her advantage, to get what she wanted. Not that he'd minded too much. Generally though he felt as if he were taking part in a commercial transaction rather than an act of love, or even of lust. The older he'd got the more dissatisfied he'd felt.

Fear? Fear of hurting her, for although he wasn't certain that he still loved her, he had no desire to hurt her. Fear of change, fear of being alone? For there had never been room for another woman in his heart.

Apart that is from Martina.

Until now Joey had never dared examine his feelings about her, too scared of what he might discover.

He'd liked her, admired her, she was one person who argued with him, teased him, challenged him, thwarted him, and the one person, perhaps the only one, who had never wanted or expected anything from him.

He'd fancied her as well, still did, he'd always been a bit jealous that Shifty had cracked it with her. He'd cared about what happened to her and objected to the way Shifty treated her. It was another point on the list of things he disliked about his cousin.

He was aware that at times the atmosphere between them had crackled with – what? Attraction? Desire? Lust? He wasn't sure. What scriptwriters called unresolved sexual tension.

Well, they had resolved that one. Drunken, burning, dishevelled, raw, rough even. Naked desire finally satiated.

Then sobriety and nothing.

He'd refrained from trying to contact her afterwards much as he wanted to, strangely embarrassed and apprehensive of what her reaction might be. What his might be.

And now the discovery that it had resulted in a child had completely floored Joey. He'd forsaken his son and the woman who'd borne him.

Why hadn't he checked that Martina was ok after that day? He'd known where to find her then. Guilt was gnawing away at Joey, confusion clouding his mind. He couldn't focus on anyone or anything. And, much to his dismay, he was feeling angry with Martina as well, couldn't stop himself. What had given her the right to keep him from his child? Deny him the opportunity of being part of his life?

For, perhaps, the first time ever he didn't have a clue what to do next.

* * *

><p><span>MARTINA<span>

Martina gazed out of her office window, why did this have to happen now, when she and Joseph were settled?

Ok, so she'd wanted him to go to university, but he'd opted not to. He wanted to start work and get earning properly. Although disappointed she had kept quiet, resolute that she would not interfere in his life.

She had always welcomed his friends, and kept any thoughts she had about the girls he bought home to herself. She had laid down a few house rules, nothing shady going on from their home, no one night stands in the house, tidying and cleaning up after himself, a share of the household chores, reminding him that respecting privacy was a two way thing, hers as well as his. Apart from that he was free to do his own thing.

They had room to spread out and it was more like a house share these days.

They had weathered the tough times, like when Martina had to shop on The Greaty Market, counting every copper in her purse to make sure they had enough to eat until the next pay day. Grotty tower blocks with dealers, users, and other assorted low life in the lifts and stairwells. Huddled up in quilts watching the telly because she struggled to pay the heating bills in their draughty old house.

The not unexpected death of her brother, aged forty-three, liver shot to pieces after twenty five years of relentless alcohol abuse. But he was her little brother and she still carried the guilt that she'd not noticed his descent into alcoholism until it was too late.

Then, seven years ago the sudden death of her mother. Unable to come to terms with the death of her youngest, she had seemed to die from a broken heart. Then within weeks her father appeared to have given up and laid down and died as well. She and Joseph had only each other left.

But they'd handled all that and now, finally they were alright.

And suddenly after twenty-one years Joey Boswell was back on the scene.

When she had made the decision to keep her baby herself and not involve him, she knew it wasn't going to be a bed of roses. She wasn't naïve enough to think Shifty would be any help. Though it had been tough she had never regretted her decision.

Of course there had been times in the dead of night, beset by money and other worries, when Martina had harboured secret fantasies of Joey appearing and sorting everything out for her.

But not now, she was content and this was the last thing she wanted or needed.

Or was it?

She had given her heart, body and soul to Shifty years ago and, in spite of everything he had done, she had never been able to completely retrieve them, but Joey had somehow contrived to get some small claim on her.

Although he had frequently wound her up, she had enjoyed their flirting, it bought a break in the relentless abuse that the counter clerks faced, and she had appreciated his support on the first occasion Shifty let her down and lied to her big time. He had shown a different side to himself then.

There had, if she was being honest, been a frisson between them and she supposed it had been inevitable that one day it would be acted upon. Well, they had acted on it, though it had taken a fair amount of alcohol to overcome the barriers. Like Joey being married with a child, like Shifty, like the total lack of contraception. And of course the consequence had been life changing, for her anyway.

Was there a part of her that welcomed Joey Boswell back in her life?

Martina, unusually for her, had no idea what to do next.

* * *

><p><span>JOSEPH<span>

Whilst Joseph was washing up he gave free rein to all the conflicting thoughts and feelings he'd had over the last couple of months.

When he was younger he'd fantasised about his unnamed father turning up and taking him out doing dad things.

Oh, he'd had his grandad who'd been great, it'd even curbed his gambling a bit, although Joseph had been left outside of every betting shop in the North End at some time or another, something he'd prudently kept to himself.

His late uncle had been permanently pissed so hadn't been much use in the dad substitute stakes, and then there was Shifty. The only man in his mam's life if, of course, you discounted the drunken episode with his father. Joseph hated the way he manipulated his mam, the way he got what he wanted from her, then let her down again and again. Didn't matter what he or anyone else said mam, so clear sighted over everything else, couldn't or wouldn't (he wasn't sure which) see Shifty for what he was. Shifty's indulgent behaviour towards him didn't prevent Joseph from realising Shifty was a ponce.

And now out of the blue his father had put in an appearance. When his mam had told him of their meeting and offered his phone number he had been speechless with indignation. What right has he got turning up now wanting to see me? I – we needed him years ago.

Joseph was a perceptive boy and as much as his mam had tried to shield him from her difficulties, he knew she'd had a hard time of it. He remembered hearing his mam's stifled sobs in the dead of night. Knew she had hated having to live where they'd had to live and the way they'd had to live. Realised that, much as he tried to reassure her that she shouldn't, his mam felt guilty.

She had surrounded him with love and attention, made it clear that she never regretted having him, so who needed a father anyway?

Would have been nice though.

And he was in no mood to meet the bastard responsible who'd taken advantage of his mam and then discarded her.

His mam had been understanding, apart from

'But look luv it wasn't like that. He was upset about his wife, I was upset about Shifty, we got drunk and ended up in bed. These things happen sometimes, not the wisest thing I ever did, but I wouldn't say he got me drunk and took advantage. And as for walking away I told him no more repeat performances and to forget it. In all fairness he didn't know he'd walked away from anything.'

she'd kept away from the topic and been non committal when he'd bought the subject up.

After a month his anger had died down a bit and curiosity had crept in.

He'd checked his mam was ok with a meeting, he didn't want her to feel betrayed. Martina assured him she was fine with it.

A week later, after a few aborted attempts he called his father.

He'd no particular hopes from the meeting, it might give him a chance to get a few things off his chest, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his temper. What did he expect from his father? What expectations of him did his father have?

Now he'd met him he was even more confused. Convinced he would be a flash git, he'd been taken aback by the man's evident distress and shock, disarmed by his emotional vulnerability.

Over the years, whenever he had asked his mam why she'd decided to go it alone, she'd been a bit cagey, so he'd assumed that his father had known but hadn't wanted anything to do with him, and his mam was trying to protect him from that knowledge. And now it seemed that wasn't the case. He really hadn't known.

He couldn't determine whether he wanted any sort of connection with his father or not, or work out just what Joey Boswell's intentions were towards his mam.

So where was he going from here? Should he ring as he'd said or forget it?

Joseph (father apparently) Patrick (grandfather) Malachy (confirmation – picked in a fit of teenage rebellion) O'Riordan couldn't decide what to do next.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

DECISIONS

JOEY

Joey came to a decision, he needed some time on his own to try and clear his head. Despite his illegal activities, questionable associates, and aggression where necessary, Joey was sensitive, compassionate and kind in his personal life. He had always tried to do right by those he was close to.

Joey kept a flat, untenanted, for his own use in Westminster Chambers, coincidently opposite the Municipal Offices. All those times he'd stayed there, too tired or unwilling to drive home after a night's work, he'd had Martina right under his nose and never seen her.

Joey tried to explain to Roxy that he needed a couple of weeks on his own.

"Why Joey, why do you need some time and space to yourself? Don't I need you here, Joey? You are meant to be my husband, Joey. It's hard enough that you go running off to the family every time some-one whistles, Joey."

He felt unexpectedly weary of that old refrain. "Something from the past has come up. I don't want to involve you in it. I need to think how I'm gonna deal with it." He tried to make it sound as though he were doing her a favour keeping her separate from it.

Joey avoided looking into Roxy's eyes, "Look Roxy, I need to think and I need to be on me own, I'll be in touch."

He walked out and drove off without a backward glance.

Roxy was left standing in the hallway, stunned into silence.

* * *

><p><span>JOSEPH<span>

Joseph, after a lot of deliberation had thought of someone he could ask for advice, his girlfriend's mam, Jean. He guessed she was about the same age as his mam and a remark made by Mai's sister and Jean's response made him think she had faced a similar situation. Resolved it differently, obviously given that they'd had three more children, but all the same he was convinced she could probably give him some guidance. He thought she might be able to give him some insight into his mam's perspective. Mai's parents were coming down in a week and he thought he'd suggest a drink and then talk things through with Jean.

He'd begun to feel aggrieved towards his mam and that bothered him a lot. He hated himself for feeling like this but he couldn't help it. Why hadn't she told Joey she was pregnant, hadn't he had a right to know? And what about him, hadn't he had the right to know his dad?

He finished his packing and went to find his mam.

"Mam, I'm off now to meet Mai."

"Do you want the car?"

"No thanks, we're getting the shuttle bus straight there, be back Monday."

"Ok luv, have a good time," Martina looked up from her book.

"Mam, Mai can move into her new place on 31st and her parents are bringing her things down that weekend. I'm gonna try to persuade her to stay here rather than go up and then come back down. Is that ok?"

"Course luv,"

Joseph felt quite chipper, his girlfriend would be pulling into Lime Street shortly, they were off to Creamfields, and he'd thought of a way to try and deal with his dilemma.

"Mam, thanks," he moved over and kissed her.

"What for luv?"

"Everything," he said smiling broadly, "everything."

Martina smiled and shook her head fondly, must be, what was that expression Mairead had used to describe her sister and one of her brothers? Oh yeah, 'well loved-up.'

* * *

><p><span>MARTINA<span>

As the house reverberated from the door slamming behind Joseph, Martina closed her book. She was pleased he seemed brighter, for since his meeting with Joey he had been unusually quiet and subdued.

Although desperate to know how it had gone, Martina had waited for Joseph to broach the subject, but beyond a comment about seeing what he was going look like in forty years time he'd said nothing. Eager for some idea of how it had gone she had agreed to meet Joey for a drink, but he had been no more forthcoming, and had gone on again about why she hadn't told him, much to her discomfort.

She reflected on the decisions she had made since that drink.

First, to stay clear of anything that happened between Joey Boswell and Joseph. That should be easy, as neither of them seemed inclined to tell her anything, anyway.

Second, not to meet with Joey Boswell again. And that was going to be far harder. She knew that Joey wasn't satisfied with the explanations she had given him and she thought she knew him well enough to know that he would keep hassling her until he was.

Joseph, she was sure was also wondering why she hadn't told Joey, and she was certain he was cross with her over it all, although he'd not actually said anything. And that was tough, for whilst she didn't totally care what Joey thought of her, she cared very much about Joseph's opinion.

And she knew she could never explain to her son just what all her reasons were. She didn't even like thinking about them herself.

Her mobile rang out, disturbing her thoughts, Joey, oh no. The last person she wanted to talk to. Though tempted to leave it she was conscious that he would keep trying till she answered.

Better get it over with, stay in control, "Hello,"

"Formby, we could go to Formby."

"Why on earth would we want to do that?" Martina was bemused.

"To walk along the coast and talk. Martina, I need to talk to you." Joey was sounding authoritative.

"Mr Boswell, there's really nothing more to say. Look, I haven't seen you in twenty-one years, you have your life, I have mine. We didn't have any sort of relationship back then either, just an, an encounter, and whatever happens between you and Joseph is down to the pair of you." Martina was determined to stick to her resolutions.

And Joey was equally determined to get some answers, "An encounter? Oh Martina, " Joey couldn't keep the snigger from his voice. "Saturday ok?"

"No, I'm, Joseph's away and I'm gonna take the opportunity for some me time this weekend."

"Monday then, you'll have had your weekend me time, it's bank holiday so I'll pick you up about ten. Oh, and dress for a wet walk, the forecast is for rain." Joey was not in the frame of mind to take no for an answer.

"Now, look here Mr Boswell," Martina was beginning to get annoyed.

"Unless, of course, you want to invite me round for dinner before then." Joey thought he'd chance his arm.

"No, I don't, and what's more…." Martina's annoyance was increasing.

"See you Monday then." Joey rang off swiftly before Martina had a chance to protest further.

Martina put her phone down with an aggrieved thump and a scowl on her face.

Why was she totally incapable of sticking to her own resolutions where Joey Boswell was concerned?

She picked her phone up, and thought about calling him back to cancel. She stared at the number then placed her phone back down. She may as well get it out of the way Monday as any other time.

Martina headed to her dining room in search of a consoling gin and tonic.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

FORMBY POINT

Martina was already waiting in the street when Joey cruised around the corner. They drove up the coast road, making polite conversation, to the completely empty Lifeboat Road car park, rain drizzling down.

"Not the best day for a walk Mr Boswell," observed Martina.

"No sweetheart, well I can't command the weather. And Martina, it's Joey."

They sat in silence for a few moments watching the lessening rain.

"Are we getting out or what?" queried Martina.

"Oh, if you're up for a walk in this I am," answered Joey brightly.

They pushed through the dunes and up the slope, Martina paused at the top,

"I used to come here when I was a kid, with me mam and dad and brother. Wasn't as managed then. They used that part to dump rubble in," she waved to the right, "me brother used to love watching the tipper trucks. Half of old Everton's under them dunes."

Her eyes dimmed as she wondered where it had all gone wrong for her brother. He was such a happy kid, or so he had seemed. Those days seemed so carefree in her memory, she hadn't been aware then of her father's gambling habits.

Joey watched her eyes sadden and wondered what memories were being recalled for her.

"Mam and dad used to take us to Hale Beach when we was kids. Used to be packed out then." He paused, "Where did you take Joe?"

"Along by Crosby mainly, sometimes to Meols or New Brighton, anywhere easy to get to on the train. Once I got a car we started going to Wales for holidays. We climbed Snowden one year."

They descended onto the deserted beach. A sudden squall blew in with rain lashing down. Joey pulled Martina under the nearby boardwalk. They crawled into the centre to avoid the worst of the drips.

"Shouldn't be long before it breaks again," Joey sat down, hair brushing the underside of the platform.

"So, Miss Martina, remind me just what were the reasons you decided not to tell me you were pregnant with my child?" The more Joey had thought about it the angrier he had become with Martina, and he was determined to find out just why she thought it was ok to keep his child from him, whatever it took.

Martina shifted uncomfortably, this was a different Joey to the one she was used to, voice cutting through her like steel.

"Joey, not again," Martina sighed.

"Yes, again." Same chilling tone. He took her wrists and dragged her round so she was facing him, disregarding her flinching at his touch.

Joey's face was set and his eyes cold. It occurred to Martina that she was in an extremely vulnerable position. No one knew where she was, and there wasn't a soul around. She knew Joey Boswell had been up to all sorts, and presumably hadn't been as successful as he obviously had been, by being Mr Nice Guy all the time. She tried to free her hands, but Joey just tightened his grip until she winced in pain.

She took a deep breath and lowered her eyes, "When I found out I was so shocked, thought there had been some mistake, I just didn't think it was possible. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid, I mean I knew I'd stopped taking the pill, there was no point with Shifty inside, so why I didn't think about it I'll never know. I didn't even think about the morning after option," she halted.

"Did you consider an abortion?" Joey's tone was unchanged.

"Yeah, I did, but, well I couldn't. Not just for religious reasons, but I just couldn't. Sorry." Martina was barely audible.

"Sorry? Martina, is that what you thought I'd have wanted?" Joey was hurt that she could have thought that and it showed in his voice.

"Oh, I don't know Joey, it seemed such a mess, you were married, had a kid already, I knew you'd have assumed I was dealing with contraception, that's how it was wasn't it, a women's responsibility. And any consequences were hers." Martina was relieved to hear the slight change of tone.

"Martina, it takes two, and I, well, I know sometimes things go wrong." Joey's compassion was beginning to break through his anger, much to Martina's relief.

"It's easy to say that now Joey, the reality then might have been very different." Martina desperately wanted to make him understand how surreal the whole thing had felt at the time.

"You were carrying my baby Martina. Didn't you stop to think how that might affect me?" Joey still just could not comprehend why Martina hadn't told him.

"No, I don't think I did really, I was too wrapped up in how I was gonna manage."

"But we could have talked Martina, we could have played it any way you wanted. You know I wouldn't have walked away." Surely her opinion of him wasn't so low that she'd actually thought he would have deserted her.

"Joey, that's just what I didn't know. I didn't know how you'd react." There was desperation now in Martina's voice.

"Did you really think I'd have walked away? Martina, look at me!" Maybe she had, Joey was distressed by the thought.

Apprehensive of being forced, Martina raised her eyes, the expression on his face caused her to drop them again swiftly.

"You did, didn't you? You thought I'd just be able…" Joey was so distraught he couldn't get any further words out.

She nodded, a mumbled "yes."

"And I suppose," she hesitated.

"Suppose what?"

"Well, for you to think I'd done it deliberately," the words came out reluctantly.

"Oh,"

"And before you say anything, no, I bloody well didn't." At least, not that I'm aware of she thought.

Martina's secret fear was that although she had ruled out having children with someone as unsuitable as Shifty, subconsciously she had wanted a child, and that had influenced her actions on that fateful day. Added to the genuine concerns she'd had about how Joey would react, and the situation he might find himself in with Roxy and Alex, she had always felt that to involve Joey at all in what might have been, as she phrased it to herself, a shabby deception, would have been immoral.

"Martina! I hadn't even considered that. Surely then the first thing you'd have done was to tell me."

"Quite," Martina said drily.

"No," Joey shook his head, "I wouldn't have thought it of you then either." What the hell went through her mind, of all the people he had ever encountered she was the most straightforward, forthright and decent. The last woman to pull a stunt like that.

"Like I said Joey, it's easy to say that now." Martina wasn't giving in.

"You could have at least given me the chance to prove you wrong Martina," Joey felt the need to try and get at least some of his feelings over to her.

Joey exhaled heavily, let go of Martina, and lay back on the damp sands.

Martina surreptitiously massaged her sore wrists, then hugged her knees, turning to gaze out at the choppy sea and driving rain. She became aware of Joey speaking quietly and lowly behind her.

"I was about ten when me dad started messing with Lilo Lil, I had to grow up quickly, try and look out for the others, especially through all the fights and arguments. Then when me mam was expecting our Billy, me dad dipped out more and more, and I felt I had to support her as well. When she went into labour I left the others with grandad, and me and granny went to the hospital with her. They made me wait outside and once Billy had been born I set off to track down me dad. He was at Lil's of course, and when I told him he said, 'that's rosy son,' and shut the door. He never went once to see her in hospital."

Without realising what she was doing Martina reached back, took his hand, and squeezed it gently.

Joey gave her a fond smile, not that she could see it.

"You can imagine what it was like at home, he didn't fully leave until 1983, so we had fourteen years of him coming and going. We never knew where we was. Mam didn't see much of his wages either, course he lost his job when the docks closed anyway, so when I got the chance to do a bit of… er distributing I took it. Made a big difference. The guys I worked for reckoned I was young enough not to get picked up and I used to deliver leaflets at the same time as cover, and to make a bit extra, and to fool me mam. She'd have gone spare if she'd known. I soon realised I was taking the risks and they was making the money, but me options then was limited. But I made useful contacts, found out lots about the, um, shadow economy. Blokes who'd never let anything on were surprisingly careless in front of me, thought I was too young to understand, I suppose. So I kept quiet, acted dumb and watched and listened. I was lucky, the last year you could leave school at fifteen, so I did and decided me future lay in that shadow economy. I got a bit of a legit job working on the scrap a couple days a week, it was a great life skill education. I learnt more there than in ten years at school and I enjoyed it. Belonged to me dad's uncle Tommy, his cousin Lucien worked there as well. He runs it now with his sister's lads and son-in-law. Lucien's always been nuts about rabbits. He must have kept thousands of them by now."

Martina swivelled round, "hang on a minute, not the Costellos and Wards?"

"The very same. Are you acquainted with them?"

"Acquainted! They've got files as thick as your lot, not surprising now I know they're family. I've even heard of uncle Lucien and his rabbits, not that I've met him personally. Why does it not surprise me that they're related to the Boswells?"

Martina shook her head, smiling and rolling her eyes.

Joey grinned, "Lucien is a Boswell, so was Carol before she got married."

"Oh God, it gets worse." Martina's eyes were flashing with amusement.

Joey was reassured to see her calming, he was disgusted with himself for getting physical with her, mortified to catch sight of the marks on her wrists. It was so out of character for him, despite the way Roxy had behaved over the years he had never reacted with force. He'd always despised blokes who used their strength against women, yet that was exactly what he'd just done. He'd have to straighten it out with her, somehow, sometime soon.

She turned back to face the sea. He continued,

"But I was successful in me, me other activities which meant I could take good care of me family. Trouble was I never had enough time for meself. There was always something going on at home. Mam never recovered enough to take charge properly, the others were all over the place, still we pulled together though and we managed, well you know how it was, but I always felt responsible for them all. When I met Roxy, I fell head over heels in love. We had some wonderful times, at first anyway. Trouble was I'd taken me eye off the ball at home though and things were falling to pieces. Everyone had problems at the same time, then gran died and dad finally left. And I suppose I neglected Roxy for the family and she left. When she came back a few years later I thought we could start again, but it turned out she was married, had a kid and another on the way. So I thought that was it."

He was glad she was facing away from him when he spoke the next words, "Course I should've asked you out then. I was tempted to you know, but I lost me nerve. Several times I got near but I could never go through with it. And Shifty wasn't rampaging around then either." Truth was he'd always felt her to be out of his league.

Martina went to speak but decided against it and squeezed his hand again.

"Then of course she came back again only this time she said I was the father of her child, but it turned out I wasn't. We tried again, it was on and off for the next few years, whenever I thought we was getting somewhere, something happened at home or she had wandering eyes. Finally I had enough of home and the family and we got married. I knew it was a bad move being with her, but I really thought I could make it work, especially if I could opt out of the family. Wasn't like that of course but I couldn't leave, I felt for the little lad. I knew he wasn't mine but I loved him anyway, and I suppose, well I suppose I hoped that there was a small chance that he just might possibly be mine, maybe. I've often wondered if me inability to break with Roxy has its roots in me dad's behaviour, I've always been desperate not to be like him. But Alex hasn't lived at home since he was eighteen, so I've no excuses. I've not been happy but…" he stopped not able to find the right words to explain how he'd been feeling.

"Too convenient you mean," Martina couldn't refrain from commenting.

"No, no, I don't think it's just that."

He continued, "I'm staying on me own at the moment. I've a flat I use sometimes if I'm late and don't want to drive back. I need to get me head straight. Martina, I don't want to go on at you, but finding out that I have got a son, me own flesh and blood, and that of all the people in the world he's the one I've not been there for, it's, it's devastating. I've done what me dad did, what I vowed I would never do, let down one of me own. And I've always been resentful that, well, that I didn't have a child of me own."

Joey couldn't believe he'd just admitted that. He'd never owned up to that, even to himself.

"So, to suddenly discover I have and I've missed out," he caught his breath, "but I sort of understand that, well the way I acted back then wouldn't have given you any confidence in me, I mean I can see why you might have thought I'd walk off or pressure you to get rid of it. And that's hurting worse than anything else because that's down to me."

Joey could be painfully self aware, and, much as he didn't like it, he was just about able to accept that the way he'd presented himself to her, as a flash, unscrupulous opportunist, prepared to try out any dubious scheme to make money, caring only about his own family, and downright dishonest if it meant he could further his own ends, was hardly likely to have filled her with assurance that he would act honourably in what, after all, had been a complex situation. The couple of times he had tried to behave in a decent way to her, and their stolen day, which had ended in a drunken encounter, to use her expression, was never going to offset the rest. Especially when she was reeling from the shock of pregnancy.

"Joey" Martina hesitated, "you didn't let him down. Perhaps I didn't think enough about the consequences for him or you."

She let go of his hand and changed position to face him.

"I'm sorry Joey, but I thought I was acting for the best. I always hoped you'd never find out, I was in the North End, you in the South, you'd stopped claiming, so our paths wouldn't cross, and now Joseph seems to be angry and resentful..." she spluttered, afraid to continue least she burst into tears.

Joey looked at her longingly, desperately wanting to take her into his arms, hold on and not let go, but pretty sure she'd, to quote his son, 'go mental', he kept his hands to himself.

He sat up, "Hey, it's stopped raining."

He crawled out, then reached a hand back to Martina, "shall we take that walk?"

She nodded and followed him out. They walked along the shoreline, silent, each deep in their own thoughts. The waves were calmer, breaking quietly, running over the sands to their feet. Not really aware of where they were walking, Joey noticed they had got as far as the Victoria Road entrance to the beach. Perhaps it was time to turn round.

"Shall we walk back through the red squirrel walk?" Joey broke the silence.

"Yeah."

They turned through the dunes and down into the wood, both desperate to reassure the other, neither able to. The wind had dropped, the afternoon unnaturally still, heavy, dark clouds banked up in the sky. Nothing, apart from themselves, was moving in the woods, not a leaf, not an animal. The Listeners came into Joey's head, the words particularly fitting today he thought. Despite leaving school at fifteen, without a qualification to his name, Joey was surprisingly well read, for he had used literature as an escape through all the grim times in his life. When he was growing up there were no books, save religious ones, at home, and to preserve his credibility he'd never dared use the local library, but he'd always loved the Central Library at William Brown Street, losing himself in there for hours at a time. Now he was staying right by there he made a point of going to the Picton Reading Room most days, even if only to read a newspaper and soak up the atmosphere.

The flash of lightening tore through the sky and the crash of thunder disturbed the quiet.

"Not the best place to be in a storm," remarked Martina.

"Probably safer to be in the dunes," agreed Joey.

Back in the dunes they had a spectacular view of the lightening forking into the sea, when Joey stopped suddenly, sat down, looked up at Martina and without warning pulled her into his lap, wrapped his arms around her and held her close against him, ignoring her struggles.

"Joey, please let me go," she tried to keep the unease she felt from showing.

"No."

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing, just thought we could admire nature's glory."

"What?" Had she heard right?

"Nature's rich tapestry laid out before us, wouldn't you say?" She had.

"Couldn't we can do that without you holding me?"

"We could yes, but we're not going to."

Whilst Martina pondered her next move, a few heavy raindrops began to fall.

"Joey we need to move, we're gonna get wet."

"We're gonna get wet anyway sweetheart, it's a good hour walk back to the car."

"Shouldn't we be making a start then?"

"Not yet, sweetheart, not yet."

The few drops had turned into a deluge. Within minutes Martina was soaked to the skin, cold and fear making her shiver. The bruises on her wrists livid against her goose-bumped skin. Joey rested his head against hers, seemingly oblivious of the rain and Martina's feelings.

Actually, Joey was perfectly aware of Martina's rising panic, but it seemed imperative to him that now he had hold of her to keep hold of her. Just needed to. He couldn't explain why to himself let alone her so he didn't try. It's not like he had any intention of harming her. He'd deal with any repercussions later.

The roll of thunder was growing fainter and the flashes had moved further out into the Irish Sea by the time Joey realised just how chilled and wet he was. He lifted Martina up, stood up himself, smiled and suggested, "time to go?"

Martina nodded warily, and still holding gently onto her hand, his thumb caressing her palm in what he hoped was a conciliatory gesture, Joey led the way through the teeming rain back to the car.

Joey flicked on the heating and Martina lay back in the seat grateful for the warmth.

"Come back with me," Joey stared out of the windscreen.

"Sorry?" This was the last thing Martina was expecting him to say.

"Come back with me," he repeated without turning his head.

"Well, I was assuming you were taking me back, I don't fancy a long walk and the train." Martina attempted a flippant reply.

"Martina, don't be willfully obtuse, you know what I mean," he continued to stare ahead, afraid to meet her eyes.

"Back to your flat you mean?" Martina had known perfectly well what he had meant.

"Yes, to dry out and have dinner."

"Can you cook?" Martina couldn't imagine Joey being able to boil an egg, let alone cook a dinner.

"No, but I can order a takeaway."

"Joseph'll be back, he'll wonder where I am," she mumbled trying to think of a valid excuse.

"Send him a message, as you said he's a grown man, I'm sure he can manage,"

"He can manage fine it's,"

"Just that you're trying to think of an excuse," Joey interrupted.

She fell silent.

He started up and drove off. The traffic was unusually light for a bank holiday afternoon, the journey back quick, just as well, given the frigid atmosphere between them.

"Well, here we are."

Martina looked up. "I'm not due at work till tomorrow, Joey," she said vaguely, peering at the LMO.

He opened the door, helped her out, then propelled her through the entrance to his block.

Martina was too drained to resist.

Once in the flat, he led her to a door and opened it, "Throw your wet stuff out, I'll put it in the dryer," he offered before disappearing across the hall.

Showered and wrapped in a warm dry towel, Martina stuck her head round the bathroom door to find a dressing gown in place of her clothes.

She re-emerged, and crossed the hall into the sitting room. Joey held out a steaming mug of coffee and indicated a sofa, black leather she noted, and couldn't stop her eyes from rolling.

"Which d'you fancy? Joey was waving a number of menus at her from a second identical sofa.

"Oh er, I don't mind."

One meal and a couple of glasses of wine later Martina was feeling almost human again.

"Have you said anything to anyone?"

"Me family you mean? No, I haven't. Like I said I'm still trying to make sense of it all and Joe asked me not to."

"Oh."

"He said he needed to think, and he wanted to talk to you more."

"Oh."

"I take it he hasn't yet then?"

"No."

"What made you think of that?" Joey was curious.

"I don't really know. I suppose I was thinking consequences. I mean Roxy and Alex, especially Roxy."

Joey was shocked to realise when he was talking about family he hadn't considered Roxy. He was confident that Alex would be accepting so he hadn't anticipated any problems there, he had been thinking more about how his mam and siblings would react, especially his mam.

"I'd probably talk to me dad and Lillian first or Oswald," was all he decided to say.

"That the dishy vicar?" Martina was glad to find something light to say.

"He's a canon at the cathedral these days, and Alex," he paused, "well Alex will be understanding, he hasn't got any time for his mam, fair enough I suppose, she never had any time for him when he was a lad, so..." he shrugged.

"Still leaves Roxy though."

"It does, yes."

They both lapsed into their own thoughts.

"Will you stop the night?"

Martina gave Joey an incredulous look, which made him grin.

"No hanky-panty I promise."

"I've got work tomorrow, Joey." Martina played for time.

"So I'll take you home early enough for you to get ready." He waved his phone, "easy enough to set the alarm."

"And Joey, you're a married man."

"Didn't stop you last time," he decided to risk it.

"I'm sober now Joey," Martina wasn't going to be drawn.

"More wine?" he held up the bottle and beamed, "No, only messing, will you? I promise nothing," he hesitated searching for the right words.

"Sexual," Martina supplied baldly.

He nodded. "Do you trust me? Martina?"

She took a deep breath, "I suppose, yeah, I mean you had plenty of chances today."

"Martina!" Joey was genuinely shocked. "Just what sort of a man do you take me for?"

"Where would you like me to start?" she half smiled.

"So, will you?" he persisted.

"Why do you want me to stay then, if not for that reason?"

Joey considered, "comfort, no that's not the right word. I just want to hold you close, I suppose. Now I've found you again, you've been haunting me mind enough over the years, I don't want to let you go."

"You're making me sound like a bloody spectre," Martina wasn't altogether sure she was comfortable with what she was hearing.

"Oh, and don't run away with the idea that I don't want to make love to you, I do, but I'll settle for your presence." Joey wanted to make that point clearly.

"You're still making me sound like some sort of phantom." Martina chose to ignore the first part of that statement.

"And Martina," he indicated her wrists, "I was way out of order, I've no excuses to offer, no pleas to make, no promises to give, but I am truly sorry I hurt you and frightened you earlier."

Martina heard him out, impassive, then shrugged and looked away.

"So, will you?" he repeated.

Martina looked straight into his eyes, "no sex" she stated firmly.

"No sex, I promise."

She nodded, "ok then."


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

THE BIGGEST RISE IN STD'S IS IN THE OVER 50'S

"Mam, can I talk to you?" Joseph held out a glass of wine.

"Thanks, and yes you may," Martina put the TV on standby.

"How well did you know Joey Boswell?"

"Not very, as it turns out."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed, "I suppose I let my prejudices about him from a professional point of view colour me attitude."

"What do you mean?" persisted Joe.

"I mean, I was on the counter and he was a chancer, working outside the law, cash on the side, claiming every benefit going, cheating the system right, left and centre." she hesitated, "But he was quite fanciable and he could be charming. And you know the rest."

"You didn't think there was any point telling him, then?"

"No Joseph, I didn't. I assumed he wouldn't want anything to do with it. After all he was married with a kid. Perhaps I was wrong, maybe I should have given him a chance to prove me wrong."

"Yes, perhaps you should," Joseph was acerbic.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that, but…" Joseph paused, the last thing he wanted to do was upset his mam.

"I know luv, I'm sorry I stopped you from knowing your dad as you were growing up, but I don't think at the time I could have faced the rejection so I didn't try." Well, she consoled herself that was true, she certainly wasn't sharing anything else.

Joseph put his arms round his mam and kissed the top of her head, "I'm not blaming you mum, honest." He recalled the conversation he'd had with Jean and he was keen to let his mum know he wasn't finding fault with her.

He pulled back, "do you think I should try and get to know him?"

"If that's what you want."

"I dunno, I do and I don't."

"Maybe you need to give him a chance then."

"Yeah, maybe I do." Joseph was pensive.

He frowned, "Were you with him Monday night?"

"Joseph, it's not really anything to do with you. I don't ask you what you're up to." Martina was mildly indignant.

"I'll take that as a yes then. Mam be careful."

"And just what's that supposed to mean?" Martina was becoming more indignant.

"Well you know the biggest rise in STD's is in the over 50s." Joseph grinned and dodged the cushion Martina slung at him.

"Joseph!" Martina was moving beyond indignation.

"Seriously though, if it comes to his family knowing, are you ok with that?"

Martina reflected, "yeah, I suppose. There's probably dozens of them by now. He's got three brothers and a sister and it's likely they've all got children, they might have grandchildren as well, and then there's his mam, dad and his girlfriend." She stopped, still thinking.

"And his wife and son, of course," she added.

"Yeah, and that's trickier isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

"That's what I was trying to say, mam be careful, don't get guilt tripped into anything."

"Joseph, I can take care of myself," Martina wasn't prepared to be lectured at by her own son.

"Could have fooled me," commented Joseph, he did refrain from uttering Shifty, just about.

Martina glared at him, "whatever you and Joey sort out doesn't really concern me."

"Of course it does mam. You've got to be at least comfortable with it. And you and Joey?" He wasn't ready to let it drop.

"There isn't a me and Joey, we've had three meetings and all of them have been about the same thing."

"Why you didn't tell him?"

"Yes, and on Monday I think he finally saw where I was coming from, I don't think he liked it, but he could see why. And he's wanted to know a bit about your childhood, understandably."

"Has he told his wife?"

"No, he said you'd asked him not to say anything yet, so he hadn't."

"And Joseph," she stopped.

"Mam?"

"I didn't have sex with him, if that's what's worrying you." Teach you to patronise me she thought, entertained by his visible discomfort.

"Mam!" Joseph reddened and changed the subject swiftly.

"Does Shifty know Joey's my dad?" Something else that was playing on his mind, and he wanted cleared up.

"He never asked me, and I've never told him."

"He might have worked it out."

"He might. He can't talk, he's got at least one child that I know of, must be in his early thirties by now."

"That he's never bothered with?" WTF were they all up to in the 80's and 90's? Perhaps Jarvis Cocker had it nailed.

"Not to my knowledge."

There was a pause while Joseph thought how to say what he wanted without upsetting his mam.

"It's not actually his son. Did you know?"

"I did."

Joseph looked surprised.

Martina had a pretty good idea what was going through his mind.

"It was another reason to keep quiet," she continued.

"Why?"

"Roxy wouldn't let Joey adopt him, so he had no legal rights. If everything had come out, and she had wanted to get back at him she could have denied him any access. And though I've never met her, from what I've heard it sounds like the sort of thing she'd have done." She paused, "Mind, I've never heard her side of things, only his. And that little boy would have been an innocent victim in all of it. How unfair would it have been for him to loose Joey after having him around for years?"

"But it was alright for me to lose him?" Joseph blurted out angrily.

"Wasn't the same was it? You didn't have him from the start. I know you felt there was some-one missing from your life, but it wasn't like being cut off from someone who'd lived with you."

Martina looked at her son with concern hating to see him hurt. She felt a sharp stab of resentment towards Joey Boswell at this moment in time, still affecting her life.

She continued, "And as far as you were concerned, back in 1994 unmarried fathers had no legal rights either."

"Even if a DNA test proved it was yours?"

"Wasn't available then."

"So Joey was screwed either way?" Joseph was beginning to feel some sympathy for his dad.

"I wouldn't put it like that, there wasn't the same expectations on men back then, it was a far more sexist society. If you got pregnant, the attitude was tough, get on with it, nothing to do with me, and there was no way of proving that it was."

"Is that what you really thought would happen?" asked Joseph quietly.

"Yes." Martina looked directly at her son, "Joseph, how many of your mates' mams had been in that position?"

Joseph frowned, "yeah, loads."

"There you are then. I didn't expect Joey to be any different. In fact he had more reason than most to deny it."

"But, he might have been."

"He might, but it's easy for him to say anything now, he hasn't got to follow it through."

"He does seem properly upset though."

"Yes, he does, and like I said, maybe I should have given him the chance to prove me wrong, but hindsight Joseph is a wonderful thing. I know it's hard for you to understand but we're all a product of our times. Me and Joey were born in the fifties, very different attitudes."

"Mam, you were raised in the swinging sixties." Joseph protested.

"Joseph, it certainly wasn't swinging in Everton or Toxteth, not for working families with kids."

"But the Beatles and Merseybeat and all that," Joseph wasn't giving up. He hated to be outmanouvered in an argument, not surprising considering who his parents were. One thing that made Mai special was her ability to match him in any disagreement. Not like some of his previous girls who'd rolled over every time.

"Didn't affect our parents, they had young families, they weren't out at the cavern. And we was too young, by the time we was out clubbing it was punk, two tone, northern soul or disco. We came of age in a declining city, the docks had shut by 1975, industries closing, people moving out right, left and centre, unemployment rising." Martina was more than a match for her son.

"You've always had a job though." Joseph wasn't giving up.

"Yes, but I went into the sixth form. That was unusual even in my school and I passed the eleven plus. If you went to a secondary modern you were lucky to do O levels, it was CSE or nothing. And the leaving age had only just been raised to sixteen. My year was the first that had to stay on." Neither was Martina.

"No chance of uni then?"

"Hardly anyone went, I only knew one girl who did. So having A levels gave you an advantage in the job market when I started. Joseph, go and look at images of Liverpool in 70s, 80s, 90's, even the early 2000s. It was very different. And it's still not great in vast parts of the city. You move in a charmed circle, get yourself out to Croxteth, Stockbridge, Kirkby or any of the out of town estates, and see what life's like there. You could even take a walk down Faulkner Street and across Crown Street, it's like a different world." Martina was set on having the last word.

It was to Joseph's credit that Martina, whilst suspecting he got up to more than she was officially told, had no idea of the extent of her son's business dealings, and that some of his most lucrative operations involved the places she mentioned. He'd taken her strictures about nothing shady going on from their house seriously and operated out of his studios in Gradwell Street. As far as his mam was concerned he made his living through promoting, educational animations, and renting out studio space. He was, in fact, completely conversant with the city's less appealing areas, wherever they happened to be. He was even familiar with the Netherley Estate built on the edge of Gateacre, not that he imagined Joey lived in that bit. Unlike his father, Joseph had always found it far more beneficial to go about his business in full daylight, much easier to hide in the day to day comings and goings than standing out at night, fair game for any passing bizzie. Joseph kept his nights for his social life, with only the odd bit of networking intruding. Of course Mai knew what he was up to, but she didn't seem fussed. However, in comparison to one of her brothers he was a complete innocent. Mai's mam had described her son as 'a bit fly', an understatement if ever there was. That was London morality for you. And as for his father, he was clearly well acquainted with the seamier side of Liverpool life. He wondered if his mam was aware of Joey's ways, probably was he thought.

Martina put her arms around her son and cradled him, "I'm sorry Joseph, but I've always tried to do my best, and I thought at the time what I did was the best for everyone."

"Mam, I know, I do, it's just" he buried his head on her shoulder unable to continue.

"It's ok Joseph to be angry, it's ok to get upset." She stroked his hair, and resisted the urge to sing to him, or tell him a story in the way she had when he was little and had sometimes needed comforting.

"Pogues, Blur, Pulp, or Hairy Maclary," Joseph stated, "I know they're on the tip of your tongue."

"Oh well, I used to get fed up of nursery rhymes and Hairy was always your favourite, you wanted it every bedtime for months at one point. I still know it off by heart."

"Down in the town by the…" they began in unison when a ring at the door startled them both.

"Oh, that'll be Mai, mum can you let her in, while I go and get sorted?"

"Course luv." She gave him a final kiss and he responded with a weak smile.

Martina opened the door ready to welcome Mairead and stopped dead at the sight of Joey Boswell on her doorstep. She was about to tell him where to go when Mairead appeared.

"Go through luv, he's still getting ready. Help yourself to a drink or anything, you know how long he takes. I won't be a minute."

"Thanks Martina," Mairead smiled at her, and glanced curiously at Joey.

Martina waited until she had gone through the hall before she demanded, "What are you doing here?"

From her expression and tone Joey deduced that his appearance was unwelcome, "not a good time?" he hazarded.

"No," she answered shortly.

"Ok, I'll be off," he turned away. He had no mind to jeopardise relations with her, even if giving in without a fight went against all his instincts. Still some you win, some you have to postpone.

Martina surprised, but thankful, for his uncharacteristic compliance shut the door quickly and shot to her living room. Relieved that Mairead was there alone, she shut the door.

Mai looked up, "Joe's dad?"

"Yes, and please don't say anything to Joseph, he's agitated enough by it all."

"No problem, must be tough for you at the moment, stuck in the middle with both of them suffering from a bout of righteous indignation."

Martina laughed, that just about summed it up.

"Are you ok?"

Martina looked at her gratefully, "I think so. Joey can look after himself, but well I do feel bad about Joseph. And I suppose it's stirred up all sorts of memories and feelings, so actually, no, not really. I just wish Joey had never found out, and..."

The sound of the opening door stopped her from continuing as she intended "is your new house alright?"

"Yep, I'm glad to be back in the centre again. I think I got spoilt that first year being at Grand Central." Mairead answered seamlessly.

Joseph was pleased to see his mam and Mai talking away. His mam had always been fine about anyone he'd bought home, but with Mai he got the impression that his mam really liked her. For some reason this particularly pleased him. He didn't like to speculate too much why, as he was aware that she would be finishing in Liverpool next June, and she'd given no indication of what her future plans might be.

"When you're ready, we'll be off."

"Ok," Mairead finished her drink, "Thanks Martina. See you soon, take care of yourself." She laid a meaningful emphasis on the final word.

They left.

Martina drained her glass, reflecting on the previous hour and wishing, not for the first time, that she had a sister to talk things over with, or even a daughter.

Actually that last scenario, she reminded herself, was not a good one to follow.

Her mind moved to the changes in Liverpool over the past thirty years. Even the riots a couple of years ago had been half hearted compared with the 80's ones.

Speculating on possible reasons for that kept her mind occupied and away from the other subject that kept trying to worm itself into her brain, Joey Boswell.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

BECOMING A MAN BEFORE YOU'VE FINISHED BEING A BOY

Joey knew he couldn't postpone it any longer. He had to tell Roxy about Joe and inform her that he wasn't moving back. Whether or not there was a possibility of any sort of relationship with Martina, and he wasn't sure that there would be, he knew he couldn't go back to the life he had been living with Roxy. Not now.

He'd arranged to meet her in town for a drink. He hoped there would be less chance of her causing a scene, and he'd be able to stick to his decision without her being able to sway him, if they were in a public place. He hated the fact that she was able to manipulate him so easily, he needed to 'man up' as Alex had put it.

He checked his watch and leant against the wall, she was late as usual.

She came round the corner and instantly he was transported back to the night he'd waited for her when she'd moved back to Liverpool, before she'd told him she was married, and his heart started to flip.

No, keep with it, he urged himself, and unbidden, the image of Martina at Formby gazing out to sea flashed before his eyes.

"So, how are you then?" he asked a bit feebly.

"Oh, just great Joey, you walk out, I don't hear a word for weeks and then I get a summons to a pub of all places," was Roxy's sarcastic response.

He opened the door for her.

Once they were seated in a booth with their drinks she looked at him. "Well, what have you got to say for yourself, Joey?"

He took at deep breath. "I found out, by chance, that I have an adult son, his mother having declined to inform me of the fact at the time of his birth. And, well, it was a shock and I needed to do a lot of thinking."

There was a painful silence, the look of disgust on Roxy's face was deeper than he had ever seen, and he'd seen some disgusted expressions over the years.

"How old?" Roxy ground out, teeth clenched.

"Twenty," admitted Joey.

"Twenty!" hissed Roxy, "We were married then Joey, how could you?"

"That's a bit rich coming from you." Joey was starting to get angry, "How many different men have you slept with over the years?"

"But I never had a child with anyone else." Roxy was on the offensive.

"Apart from Alex." The moment the words left his mouth Joey cursed himself. It was a measure of how angry he was with Roxy for that to cross his lips.

The look of pure hatred that Roxy gave him was probably deserved, he thought.

"Oh I see, pulling that card out of the pack are you Joey? Well it won't work. I don't want you back, ever. Finished, that's it." Words Roxy was confidant would soon bring Joey back to heel, begging and pleading as usual.

But not this time. Joey was astounded, but immensely relieved, not to be the one to have to call time on their marriage, coward, he admitted to himself. He just about managed to speak, "Ok Roxy, if that's how you feel I'll get the house put in your name, and an allowance sorted out." Even so he avoided mentioning divorce or separation.

Roxy hadn't taken in what he had said and continued, "His mother, what about her?"

"What about her? She didn't want me involved then so I can't imagine she does now. It's a bit late to play the daddy, he's a grown man." Joey was offhand.

"Have you seen her?" Roxy spat out.

"No." Joey lied, and downed his drink, he pointed at her untouched glass. "Another?"

She shook her head, "Do you plan to?"

"No," he lied again.

He swallowed, "Well then, I'll be off. I'll call the solicitor first thing Monday to put the house over to you, and to sort out an allowance. Let me know if you need anything else."

And, as his words sunk in, to Roxy's utter astonishment he went, leaving her seething in front of her still untouched drink. That was twice now he'd walked away from her, she couldn't begin to understand it.

Joey walked down the street and into the nearby Orb where Alex was waiting with several rounds of drinks.

"Did you manage it?" he asked, thinking privately that the old man would have bottled it.

"Didn't have to. Once she discovered how old he was she told me it was over." Joey sat down and picked up a drink.

"Result then. Bit hypocritical though after... "

He was interrupted by his phone ringing, "mother, should be interesting."

He answered, "Hello mother, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Joey couldn't help smiling, as he'd predicted Alex had been casual about it all, only commenting that he was amazed Joey had stuck it out for as long as he had.

"Well these things happen, I can't see that you've got much right to complain if dad had a fling, after all... "

Clearly Roxy was giving full vent to her anger and Joey felt guilty that Alex was on the receiving end.

"Look, I don't want to listen to you ranting on, it's not my problem what goes on between you and him, and nothing you say is going to change my view of him."

He put his phone down, "She can be so vindictive. Tell me about my little brother."

"There's not much I can tell you, I've spoken to him on the phone twice and met him twice." Joey was made up to hear Alex refer to him as 'my little brother'.

"And?"

Well, he looks like me, he's twenty, got a girlfriend who's a Londoner in her third year at John Moores, does promoting of various acts, and probably other things, strays over the line at times I should imagine. He lives with his mam in the Georgian quarter of the city centre, they share a car, have a cat, and he drinks proper beer," Joey was taken aback by how little he actually knew.

"Good man," interjected Alex. "Red or Blue?"

"Don't know," said Joey ruefully.

"Hope he's not a Toffee."

"Hmm, well he grew up in the North End till he was eleven, but I don't know who Martina's family supported. I know they're left footers though."

"Martina's his mother?"

"Yeah," Joey could feel his cheeks reddening.

Alex studied him and grinned.

"What?" bluffed Joey.

"Nothing, what about her then?"

"I don't know that much about her either really. I mean I never went out with her or even had a proper personal conversation with her outside the DHSS until, well I suppose it was the day that he was conceived. And then I didn't see her again." Joey was abashed, spoken like that it did sound bleak.

"Blimey! No wonder she didn't bother telling you."

For the second time Joey felt the disapproval of the younger generation, for like Joe, Alex wasn't quite able to keep it from his voice.

"It wasn't…" Joey stopped. Once again he decided not to try and justify what had happened that day. He'd put it down to the generation gap.

"And since you've met up again?" Alex's tone was back to normal.

"Oh, I don't know, I like her a lot, always did, but I've never been sure what she thinks about me. Still don't for that matter."

"Are you seeing her?"

"Not as in seeing her, I'd like to, but I don't know how she feels and she doesn't give much away. I've met up with her a couple of times."

Joey thought it better not to mention the night he'd spent with her, though true to his word nothing had happened. Martina had got dressed into her dry clothes, and he hadn't bothered undressing, just as well, it had taken every ounce of his self-control to keep his promise. If she'd been in his bed naked under a dressing gown, he wasn't sure he would have managed to keep it. He had been aroused enough as it was during the evening, tantalizing glances of flesh whenever she moved. Thankfully he'd taken the precaution of sitting on a separate sofa. He couldn't be certain, but he thought he'd glimpsed a tattoo at one point.

He'd been unnerved once he appreciated that Martina had felt under threat of sexual assault from him earlier on. That idea hadn't entered his head. Much as he wanted her he would never have dreamt of forcing her. He should have been more sensitive about it though, after all men did rape as revenge, to assert their power, as an act of violence, and he'd shown his anger, had twice physically restrained her against her will, and to make it worse there'd been no one else about. Because he wasn't thinking like that, it hadn't occurred to him at the time that she might interpret it that way. He hoped rather than believed that he'd managed to reassure her during the course of the night.

They'd seemed to talk themselves into a better understanding of each other, she'd even confided in him, after extracting a promise that he wouldn't tell Joe, what Shifty was inside for, and why this time she wouldn't be having him back.

Joey had been horrified, he'd always regarded Shifty as a petty criminal, and an incompetent one at that. To discover he had gone on a job tooled up, then used it was almost beyond belief.

Her words came back to him. 'I've always been able to forgive him, I know he's as bent as a nine bob bit, but it always seemed like a loveable little quirk. To use a weapon against someone, and leave them with life changing injuries, that's a different thing. It's only by the grace of God that he's down for attempted murder not murder. I can't have him back this time, I could never live with myself knowing what he's done.' In spite of the revulsion he'd felt at Shifty's behavior, Joey couldn't help raising his eyes at some of her phrases, she was obviously picking up cockney expressions from Joe's girlfriend.

They'd barely drifted off to sleep when the alarm sounded. Joey hadn't been alert enough to arrange a further meeting once he'd driven her home, and she'd left the car with a 'thanks for the lift.'

His attempt at rectifying that by turning up on her doorstep had fallen flat. He suspected if Joe's girlfriend, at least that's who he assumed it was, hadn't appeared, he would have been treated to a gobfull of abuse. Clearly it hadn't been good timing. Since then they had been to a concert at the Philharmonic Hall, followed by supper. He'd apologized for turning up unexpectedly, and promised not to do it again. Joey had appreciated being in Martina's company a great deal. Freed from the tensions of either a DHSS exchange or the tricky subject of keeping her pregnancy from him, the evening had felt mellow and harmonious. He was surprised at the diverse topics they had been able to converse on, and Martina's somewhat warped sense of humour had struck a chord in Joey. She had confirmed what Joe had said on their second meeting, that both of them were all right with Joey's family knowing.

He was no clearer though as to whether she wanted to see him again or not, and what his next step should be.

Alex nodded sympathetically, "Still at last you've made that break, and given yourself a chance to think about what it is you want to do. You haven't got mother whining and clinging on."

"No, I do feel a bit numb though, "Joey was actually more shaken up than he was willing to say. After all, he'd just ended twenty-three years of marriage and cut himself off from the person he'd first given his heart to in 1979.

"Bound too for a bit, I'd have thought. Have you confided in grandad and Lily yet?"

"I haven't, no, I've only spoken to you and now Roxy. It's going to be difficult, oh not grandad but, well some of the others. I mean they can be a bit intimidating can't they?"

"Just a bit. Does he want to meet them?"

"He hasn't expressed any desire to, no."

"So, do you need to say anything yet?"

"I suppose not, I can just say I've left Roxy, I don't need to say why. But I don't want anyone to think I'm ashamed of him if he does decide to later."

"Why would they? It's hardly his fault that…" Alex stopped himself, he didn't want to hurt his old man by saying what was going through his mind.

"That what?" Joey was curious to know what Alex was thinking.

"Nothing."

"Do you know I sort of regret finding out," Joey owned up with a sigh. "It was much easier being oblivious and I'm pretty sure Martina would have preferred it that way."

"And Joe?"

"Well, it can't be great for him either. He might have been happier not knowing."

Alex narrowed his eyes, "Too late now. But actually he probably is relieved to know or I guess he will be, even if he's angry at the moment.

It's weird having a gap in your ancestry, it's like a bit's missing. I mean I've got my mother's eyes but I don't look like her or anyone in her family, so am I like him and his side? Do I have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews? There's a whole lot of ifs and buts. Does he know I exist? Does he care?"

He hesitated for a moment then continued,

"He must have had those thoughts. I have. I know grandad wasn't the ideal father but you did know he was your dad. You knew where you'd come from. I think it's a missing link sort of thing. Hannah and I are considering having a family and it's made me think about it."

He finished his drink before plunging on.

"Dad, I hate to ask this and it's not a reflection on you, I mean you'll always be my dad but..."

"No, I don't, if I knew I'd tell you, but I don't know. We were sort of apart at the time," Joey didn't want Alex to have to ask that particular question.

"Does mother actually know?"

"No idea. I suppose I never wanted to know. I always wished that you were mine. I mean we weren't totally apart, so there might have been a slight chance, but Roxy has always been adamant that you weren't. I know she can be a liar but I think she's probably telling the truth about this."

"Would you like to know for sure?"

"Is it important to you?" Joey sidestepped the question, because, actually he didn't want to know.

"Yes, I, yes it is."

"Ok then."

"Dad, it won't make any difference to how I feel about you," Alex put his arm round Joey, "I'd love it to be positive too dad, but, it doesn't seem likely. You know it won't change anything."

'Not much,' thought Joey, worry starting to gnaw away at him. Alex was his one comfort in all this mess and now it looked like he might be losing him as well.

He changed the subject, "what makes you think Joe's angry?"

"Isn't he? I'd be furious with the pair of you right now if it were me."

"Yeah, I suppose he is. I hope he's not giving Martina a hard time though." He didn't want to think about Martina at the moment. "What time's your train?"

"About forty minutes. A couple for the road?"

Joey was vaguely shocked to see they had drunk their way through a number of drinks.

"Thanks." Joey wasn't much of a drinker usually, he liked to stay in control, but all in all, he felt that he deserved a few today, under the circumstances.

Alex plonked the drinks down.

"Cheers, I'll walk up to Lime Street with you then pick up a cab."

"You won't get a cab to take you two minutes down the road. Dad, how many you had? You're not going back to Gateacre are you?"

"No, course not, force of habit. So, when you planning on making me a grandad then?"

"Hannah's stopped taking the pill so it'll happen when it happens."

"Oh," Joey smiled. He fancied the idea of being a grandad, Jack seemed to get a lot of enjoyment from it, and after all he hadn't been around when Alex was a baby, so to have one about would be good. They began to talk about football until it was time to go.

Joey waved Alex off and watched the train pull out. He walked round to the taxi rank. "Albert Park, please."

Ten minutes later Joey rang the ground floor doorbell.

"Joey, come on in lad, come on in." Freddie ushered his first born in.

"Joey what can I get ye?" Lillian was up in a flash.

"Looks like you need a strong drink," Freddie was still perceptive where his lads were concerned.

"Well, let's all indulge then," Lillian came back with some bottles and glasses on a tray.

"Thanks," Joey downed his drink in one.

"Out with it lad," said Freddie refilling his glass.

"Well, I've left Roxy."

"And?"

"How do you know there's an and?" It never failed to intrigue Joey that his father always knew.

"There is isn't there? I know my lads, Joey, I know my lads."

He nodded, took another mouthful and began.

For the first time ever Joey felt able to talk to his father about the family, Martina, Joe, Roxy and finally this afternoon's conversation with Alex.

Apart from refilling his glass a few times Freddie and Lillian had said and done nothing just let him talk without interruption until,

"So, that's about it..." Joey stopped.

"A chip off the old block eh? Do we get to meet him?" Freddie was accepting as usual.

"Don't know what he wants yet dad, it's early days. We are all trying to adjust."

"Course son, in his own time, in his own time. Have you told your mother yet?"

"No, only Alex and Roxy. I wasn't planning on saying anything anytime soon."

"Not for me to tell you what to do son, but I'd let her know sooner rather than later. Make it easier for you in the long run."

"Mm, I'm not sure what reaction I'm going to get."

"You'll get the same reaction lad, if you tell her tomorrow or if you leave it for months." Freddie had a pretty shrewd idea what sort of reaction Joey was going to get from Nellie.

"What about his mother, Martina?" Freddie continued, giving Joey a piercing look from below raised eyebrows.

"I've met her, she worked at Steers House, didn't she?" Lillian was remembering a conversation with her about Boswell men, although if her memory served her correctly she was with Shifty at the time.

"She did, yes," said Joey.

"Well, well life is full of surprises," said Lillian, "grab it while you can. If you want her Joey, go for it."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure it'll be what she wants."

"So, she turns you down, you'll be no worse off, but if she doesn't, you'll be right in." Lillian was unperturbed by Joey's doubts.

"And now Alex wants a DNA test. I can't see what good that'll do, only prove he's not mine and I know that anyway." Joey came out with his main concern.

"It's understandable he wants to know, especially if he's wanting to start a family Joey." Lillian tried to console him.

"Won't help him with who is though will it? Not unless Roxy comes up with the answer." Joey was getting heated.

"Now, simmer down lad, simmer down, don't be beating yourself up over things you can't control." Freddie topped up Joeys drink yet again.

Joey emptied his glass once more.

"Do you know who his father is?" asked Freddie.

Joey shook his head, "I never wanted to."

He rested back and a moment later closed his eyes, the unaccustomed drink had taken its toll and Joey was out for the count.

Freddie looked at him thoughtfully, fully aware for perhaps the first time, and perturbed by, the effects his years of philandering seemed to have had on his eldest son. He'd never before stopped to think that it was Joey who'd ended up picking up the mess he'd left behind, and how young he'd been.

He'd had to become a man before he'd finished with being a boy.

"Lilly's right son, you need to just go for it, try and grasp some happiness while you can. You deserve it." He bent down and kissed him affectionately, something he hadn't done since Joey was a small boy, and wouldn't have done now if Joey hadn't been comatose. He jumped away, sheepish, as Lillian came back in the room.

"Never could take his ale our Joey," Freddie laughed as she put a pillow under his head and a quilt over him.

"Ah, leave off him now Freddie Boswell and come to bed."

Still chuckling to himself Freddie switched off the light and left his eldest to sleep it off.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

"Are you watching the match tonight Joey?"

"Probably, why?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to join me, I'm gonna watch it at the local."

"Great," Joey found it hard to keep his pleasure in check. They'd fallen into the habit of meeting for a lunchtime drink once a week and although Joey was thankful for the contact, he hadn't felt his son was about to let him any further into his life anytime soon. So wanting his company to watch the football seemed like a big leap forward, and as a bonus it looked like he was a red.

"Do you want some dinner first?"

"Sounds good. Whereabouts?"

"Home," Joe looked puzzled, "I'm cooking."

"Will that be ok with Martina?"

"Why wouldn't it? It's not like she's cooking, or planning on watching the match, she hates football."

They left the bar and walked round to Mount Street, Joe leading the way down to the kitchen.

He put the kettle on, and began ferreting around in the fridge. "Are you vegan?"

"No, just vegetarian. Anything I can do?" Joey offered.

"You could make the coffee, thanks."

"No problem," Joey felt making coffee was within his capabilities.

Dinner on, and they were discussing the merits or otherwise of the possible line up when Joey heard the front door open and close. Martina came into the room, if she was surprised or disconcerted to see Joey sitting in her kitchen she hid it well.

"Hello luv, hello Joey," she put her jacket over a chair, went to the fridge and removed something, which she began to chop.

Joey got up, "Coffee?" The sight of Martina had provoked the usual response in him.

"Please," Martina opened the back door, a large tortoiseshell shot in and began rubbing round her legs. She bent to stroke it and placed the chopped whatever it was into a bowl by the door.

Joe shook his head, "He's so spoilt. I don't know why he can't have cat food like any normal cat."

"He likes it," stated Martina calmly, loading the board and knife in the dishwasher and washing her hands.

She sat down, Joey placed the mug in front of her. "Thanks."

Joe laid the table, placing bowls of beetroot risotto, salad and bread in the middle.

"Help yourselves. Wine? Water?"

He placed the bottles and glasses down.

Martina poured herself a glass, "Joey?"

"Er, no thanks, I'm planning on a beer later."

"Same here," Joe poured two glasses of water and slid one over to Joey.

Joey felt completely at ease, he couldn't remember enjoying a family meal quite so much for a long time. The conversation flowed easily and the food was good too. Clearly Martina hadn't been territorial about her kitchen the way his mam had. Meals with Roxy had been tense far too often, and at Kelsall Street a battleground.

Martina cleared and put out a fresh pot of coffee. The cat seized his chance and jumped up into her lap the minute she sat back down. Martina began to stroke him, and his purring filled the kitchen.

"Look at the size of him, he can barely fit in your lap," remarked Joe.

Lucky sod, thought Joey. He'd quite like to be curled up on Martina being stroked himself, although his words gave no indication of his feelings.

"Does Mai not like football?"

"Well, she supports Arsenal I'm afraid. Her family all do, apart from her dad. He's not from London though, he's from just north of Manchester."

"United or City?"

"Neither, he supports Tottenham."

"Spurs? Bet that goes down well in a house full of Gunners!"

"Apparently his dad took him to see them one time they were playing Blackburn when he was six and he's supported them ever since. I was up there September last year when they played the derby, and they live about 3 miles from both grounds, so their local was mixed. It's one of those big old Victorian corner pubs and it was rammed, it was almost like being at the match. Arsenal won that one. Dave was well gutted."

Martina was reading a newspaper, still nursing the cat, bored by the football talk. Looking at her, Joey felt torn, much as he was keen to watch the match with Joe, part of him was reluctant to leave Martina's company.

"Right'" Joe leant back, "ready Joey? We're off to watch the football mam. Champions league."

"Ok, have fun," Martina glanced up and smiled at them both.

A few moments later they entered a pub.

"Your local?"

"One of, this is mam's favourite, there's another two, slightly nearer. The one I use most is younger, this is more mixed, so we always watch the footie here, and the other is a lot older and quite touristy, the Beatles connection thing, so I don't go there very often. They're all easy to fall back home from afterwards. Not that anywhere I go is that far, it's so handy living here."

Joey passed his pint, Joe led him to the back where a group had gathered, mainly lads his age but with a few older men.

"Hi, this is Joey, me dad, Joey, some of me mates and their old fellas."

Joey was shocked to hear himself referred to as dad by Joe. He smiled, his stomach doing cartwheels of pure joy, and exchanged pleasantries with them before settling down to watch the match. They were a friendly and accepting crowd, and he enjoyed the company joining in with the banter easily.

Piling out later, after a one-nil defeat, the group went their separate ways, complaining about the manager, the team and the ref.

"Diabolical," Joe commented, "I'm off to catch up with Mai. See you later," he smiled at Joey.

"Take care." Joey smiled back and set off for the twenty minute walk back to his flat, elated, despite the result, by the whole evening. It struck Joey that he had become very isolated, particularly from men his own age. He had been so tied up with the family that he had drifted apart from his own friends by the time he'd married. Any socializing he'd done afterwards had been with Roxy's friends, or parents of Alex's friends. Since he'd moved out he'd joined Jack and Susie in their local a couple of times, and been round to Adrian's, all of which had been fine, but it had still been within the family, where he felt obliged to fall into his expected role. Tonight he'd been free to be himself, it had been great, and he resolved to do it more often.

* * *

><p>NEXT MORNING<p>

"Well, get someone in to sort it and send me the bill, Roxy." Joey knew he had to steer clear of being alone with her in private, just to be on the safe side. He'd never been able to resist Roxy's siren call, but having come this far he was committed to seeing it through. "That's the obvious thing to do isn't it? Even if I come round there's no guarantee I can fix it. So just forward me the bill. Look after yourself."

He put his phone down proud of himself for sticking to his guns. That was twice now. Last week he'd agreed to meet her for lunch to, as she put it, sort out a few things, and despite her entreaties he had insisted on a city centre restaurant. As he suspected there was nothing in particular that needed sorting, and he was puzzled by her motive until the liquid come to bed eyes and sexy husky voice implored him to drive her back. He'd avoided looking into her eyes and ordered her a cab, using the excuse that he was over the limit to drive, not that he was having only drunk half a glass of wine. When it arrived he walked her to it and said a polite goodbye.

Joey turned to more satisfactory thoughts. Given that Joe had cooked him a meal, referred to him as dad, and introduced him publicly to some of his mates, seemed like a whole new phase in their relationship. Instinctively he'd decided to let Joe set the pace and it had paid off. He'd spoken to him about who he'd told and passed on Freddie's desire to meet him and left it with him to think about.

He wished though that things would move on with Martina. Perhaps he needed to be a bit more proactive there. Last night was the first time he'd been in her company since the Philharmonic concert. He'd found her as inscrutable as ever, impossible to gauge what she was thinking and feeling, particularly where he was concerned.

She'd mentioned the fact that he was a married man the evening at his flat, he wondered if that was a barrier for her and whether he should let her know about his impending divorce.

He hadn't told Joe as he didn't want to make him feel responsible for the breakup in any way, but he knew he could trust Martina to keep quiet about it.

Which bought him on to another problem - his mam.

He'd sat his mam down and told her about leaving Roxy, she had pursed her lips and gone on about that tart, his wasted life and God knows what else. Joey had switched off and let her talk herself to a standstill. Of course she was delighted really and offered him a room at number thirty.

"It's ok mam," he said, rubbing her arm automatically," I have a flat to stay in."

"Whose?" asked Nellie anxiously, "You've not moved in with some one else have you?"

"Mine, and I'm on me own." Joey assured her.

"You don't want to be on your own Joey, come back home luv, where you belong," Nellie wheedled.

"No." Joey was harsh, "Thanks mam, but no. I'm fine on me own." The last thing he needed right now was to be back with a manipulative mam, having just extricated himself from a manipulative wife.

Nellie caught the warning in his voice and dropped the subject for now, "Oh, ok luv," but he knew that she wouldn't let it rest.

He'd informed his siblings of his split from Roxy, none of them had expressed any surprise, all had offered support, even Billy had been reasonably tactful by Billy standards. He'd left it to them to let his nieces and nephews know and he'd been touched by the youngsters' responses.

He hadn't mentioned Joe, he wasn't sure whether to tell them individually, or do it when they were all gathered together. But he needed to tell his mam first and he hadn't plucked up the courage yet. He knew the longer he left it the harder it would be but...

Which bought him back to Martina. He came to a snap decision and called her.

"Greetings, in recognition of your hospitality yesterday, I wondered if you'd care to join me this evening for dinner."

"Morning Joey, given that it was Joe who cooked shouldn't you be taking him for a meal?" Martina was at her most sardonic.

"Well it's your house I was in, and you I'd like to talk to."

"What now, Joey? There's nothing more to add." Martina broke in irritably.

She thought they'd laid that topic to rest. After all, that was the reason she'd agreed to stay the night with him. At least that's what she kept telling herself, ignoring the fact that she did find this vulnerable, deeply unhappy, reflective Joey appealing, the mature, responsible Joey attractive, and if he hadn't been a married man, she might well have taken things further. To some extent she'd been disgruntled that Joey had behaved himself that night. She knew she was being unreasonable, she'd set a condition, she could hardly complain that he'd stuck to it. But if he hadn't she doubted she'd have protested. Whatever else, it had been a cathartic experience, for not only had they managed to gain more acceptance of each other's position, she had felt able to talk about Shifty for the first time since he'd made the call to tell her he'd been arrested. This time he hadn't been bailed, and she'd been completely shattered to discover that the man who'd been in and out of her life since 1988, whom she entrusted her son to at times, had been capable of such a vicious act. He'd always presented himself to her as an artful dodger, dishonest yes, untrustworthy yes, unreliable yes, but never violent or aggressive, so the charge had come as a complete bombshell.

The following morning when Joey had dropped her off he'd made no requests to see her again. She assumed that coupled with a certain amount of embarrassment, he was finally satisfied with her explanations, so felt no more need to see her. She couldn't quite make up her mind whether she was relieved or disappointed by this.

The day following his unexpected appearance at her house he'd rung her with a peace offering of a concert and meal. She'd accepted more out of politeness than anything else, but had found herself enjoying the evening far more than she'd expected to. Much as she hated to acknowledge it, with Shifty having put himself beyond the pale, there were times when she felt lonely and in need of someone special in her life. However, she had no intention of filling the gap by becoming Joey Boswell's mistress, a Lilo Lil to his Freddie. Perhaps the Boswells would call her Mattress Martina. The phrase bought a smirk to her face.

She knew that Joseph was in regular contact with him, but hadn't really thought through the implications of that for her, so had been initially fazed to walk into the kitchen last night and realise that he had been invited to dinner. Of course it was Joseph's home as well as hers and he had a perfect right to invite his father in if he wanted. Composing herself quickly she had decided to be polite and friendly, but keep her distance. Joey had been on his best behaviour, the meal had passed off without any awkwardness and they'd left for the football soon after.

"No, no, you misunderstand me. I meant general social interaction on topics far and wide over a .." Joey was just getting into his stride.

"Alright, alright, I'll be round to you about eight. Bye Joey, some of us have work to do."

She put her phone down with a wry smile and a shake of her head. So much for keeping her distance. Still merely going for a meal need mean nothing more than affable friendship. She replaced her glasses and ploughed on with the latest interminable report that had landed on her desk from central government about proposed welfare changes.

Joey grinned, just talking to Martina always cheered him, and he finally began to get on with some of the things Susie and Jess had been chasing him to do for the last few days.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

HALE BEACH

Joey was strolling through Otterspool Park. Even on the brightest of days it was a gloomy place, but on an overcast autumn day the neglected space took on an otherworldly glow. The twisted, overgrown trees with their covering of moss, clinging to the steep banks cut the light off to the footpath below. It was silent, deserted, smelt of damp and decay and matched Joey's mood perfectly.

For starters the test results had come back stating unequivocally that he could not be Alex's father, he wasn't surprised, but he'd hated seeing it written out so starkly.

Much as Alex tried to reassure him that nothing was going to change, he felt that inevitably something would, particularly if Roxy decided to reveal Alex's father. It was, Joey thought the sort of thing she was likely to do, if only to get back at him. Assuming that she actually knew herself, of course.

Just as he'd expected Roxy hadn't left him alone, and he'd had to be careful not to get caught up in her silken web, but so far so good. When she wasn't trying to lure him into her bed, she had been a nuisance with her constant demands and recriminations, and although he wasn't letting it get to him too much, he could have done without it.

His mam wasn't helping either. Constantly harping on about him moving back home, trying different tactics to get her own way, but much to her surprise and disappointment, Joey was staying put. He had managed not to lose his temper with her, or go off in a sulk, but just state his position impassively and change the subject.

And there was Martina. Joey was struggling to make sense of the whole situation. He'd spoken to her about Roxy, making it part of the conversation around which members of his family were aware of what, and she'd nodded her agreement about keeping it from Joe at the moment and offered her commiserations.

Despite the impression his sons had, Joey, once out of his teens, had never been a great fan of casual sex. For him there needed to be some emotional element. His feelings for Martina so long suppressed, now liberated, were rampaging all over him. He was completely overwhelmed at times by his longing for her.

She seemed to enjoy spending time with him but showed no inclination whatsoever to move their friendship into anything deeper.

But Joey was feeling the need for a more intimate liaison with her. It wasn't just sex, although that wouldn't have gone amiss, it was the closeness and rapport that intimacy offered he craved. It was, to say the least, frustrating on so many levels.

The path climbed steeply upwards, and as Joey came out of the trees into open space, he hesitated, right to his usual spot or left. He decided to go upstream for a change. Out of habit he glanced at his phone, missed call, Martina, how had he missed that, before remembering there was no signal down in the park.

"Martina what can I do for you?" he asked as she answered.

"Where are you?"

"I'm on the river path going towards Grassendale."

"Walking?"

"Of course I'm walking, it's a footpath," teased Joey, "the car's in Jericho Lane, I've been through the park."

"Thought you were never more than two minutes away from your car," joked Martina, remembering a statement Joey had made to her years ago.

"Ah well, that was me jag. I haven't felt the same about any of me other cars." Joey smiled.

Regardless of his Martina enforced frustrations it was still a pleasure to be in contact with her.

"Are you working today?"

"I don't have to go in to work particularly, why?"

"I've got some time off. I'll meet you at Sitting Bull if you like."

Joey did like, "See you there then."

He carried on, a smile on his face and noticed that the sun had started peeking through the clouds. Maybe his day was about to take a turn for the better.

As the large pink bull came into sight he could just make out Martina standing by it.

She held out her hand to him and led him up to Riverdale Drive and her car. A two seater. Joey was surprised, he would have had her down for a small, practical family car, a typical women's car in fact. He remembered she shared a car with Joe, presumably then it was his choice. He voiced this opinion.

"No, Mr Boswell, my car, Joseph is insured to drive it. Costs a fortune to put him on, would have been cheaper to buy him something, but neither of us drives much, we don't need to living where we are, so there's no point having two cars sitting there doing nothing."

Her eyes were sparkling with sheer devilment, and something else that Joey couldn't quite place.

"Told me," twinkled Joey.

She indicated right at Aigburth Road, Joey looked askance, left back into town surely.

Being a passenger was unfamiliar for Joey. Apart from taxis, he always did the driving, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been driven by someone he knew and it was a strange sensation. Roxy had her own car, but when they had gone out together it was always in his car with him driving.

Martina smiled mischievously, knowing full well he'd only just stopped himself from querying her direction, "You're looking a bit uncomfortable, do you insist on driving yourself?"

"I don't insist no, but I do tend to."

She rolled her eyes but made no comment.

"Speke Hall?" He noticed the sign.

"Not today," she said, driving past the turn off.

Speke Hall was fixed in Joey's mind by Adrian and Carmen and their adventures in the bushes. A lifetime away. He wondered what had happened to Carmen since then?

Martina turned past the airport into an unkempt lane, potholed and barely fit to drive on, which ended in a small car park.

"It's a walk from here, I'm afraid," said Martina. They continued on foot until they came to the river.

"Hale Beach," said Joey looking at her, surprised she had remembered.

"Used to be heaving."

"It's mid week term time, Joey. Not that I imagine people bring their kids here now."

She gestured to the tide line of rubbish on the beach, including bizarrely, a complete park bench, up-ended amongst the tyres, bike frames, shopping trolleys and assorted debris.

"No, probably not," Joey was slightly shocked to see the state of the place, "but the river's supposed to be cleaner than it was though."

The tide was out and the sand and mud banks were alive with birds.

"Always looks like you could walk across," smiled Joey remembering childhood boasts and squabbles.

"Bit muddy, but didn't someone do it a few years back?"

"Oh yeah, you're right, for charity wasn't it?"

"Think so."

"We used to come in from Hale."

"You still can, I just happened to have walked along from this end before."

"Does the river path go through then?"

"It does mostly, it detours round Grassendale and Garston docks, and it's impassable back there, you have to go on the beach. Assuming the tide's at the right state of course. The lighthouse is still there," she pointed towards it, "It's a private house now."

"Do you walk on your own?"

She shook her head, "With a few friends. I'm not sure I'd want to be alone, it's a bit desolate."

Joey sat against the bank, memories flooding his mind, him, Jack, Jimmy and Aveline racing round the beach, his mam and dad sitting on the tartan rug with the picnic. Chocolate butterfly cakes, his mam always made chocolate butterfly cakes for a beach trip. This was before Lillian was on the scene and they were a fairly happy family unit, and life felt safe and secure. Funny, how he always tagged his childhood images of Adrian as Jimmy.

It hadn't lasted much longer the safety and security, but at least Joey had those happy memories. Jack and Adrian probably did too, but he wasn't sure about Aveline, she'd only been about four or five when they last came as a together family. And poor Billy hadn't even had that, he'd been born into constant fights and rows, and they had continued all through his life. No wonder he was the way he was. Once his dad was fooling around with Lillian the beach trips stopped, and the butterfly cakes. He couldn't remember his mam ever making them again.

Lost in the past Joey slowly became aware that his tie was being loosened, his shirt unbuttoned, and his chest fondled.

He opened his eyes just as Martina's lips met his. For a few seconds he was too taken aback to respond.

"Sorry," said Martina a few minutes later. "I don't know what came over me."

"Don't be." Joey spoke gently.

Martina drew her knees up, hugged them and stared out to the river. Joey recalled her doing this at Formby. Must be a habit when she's a bit thrown. Trouble was this time, like him, Martina was dressed more for a day at work than at a beach, and although Joey felt he should be a gentleman and avert his eyes the temptation to enjoy the view unexpectedly displayed won out. Didn't do much for his state of mind though.

"And there was me thinking sex was off the agenda," he observed.

Martina twisted round, "Who said it was back on?"

"No one, but I was just thinking I might swoop you off home and make passionate love to you."

Martina shot him a terrifyingly cocky look, "I'm driving today, Mr. Boswell, we'll play it my way."

"Oh."

It occurred to Joey that Martina was a strong-minded, independent woman used to running her own affairs.

Joey had never quite got to grips with the idea of gender equality. He agreed with it in theory, sort of. His and Roxy's marriage had been traditional, for he had always seen men as providers, and women as put on this earth to look after their families. However, he knew he needed to come to terms with it pretty quickly where Martina was concerned. She had proved herself perfectly capable in providing for herself and Joe, had a high level, responsible job and, he suspected, wouldn't take kindly to being treated as fit only for the kitchen or bedroom. Not that he did think that about Martina, he respected her abilities far too much. He had though, if he was going to be honest, always seen Roxy in that way. Maybe he had got what he deserved from her. What was he doing, thinking about that right now, just when it seemed like Martina was getting ready to move their friendship on?

He gave himself a mental shake and it came to him unexpectedly that he rather liked the novel idea of being wanted for himself rather than as a means to an end.

He threw out his arms dramatically, sacrificial style, "Take me any way, anywhere, you want Martina, I'm completely at your disposal, if you feel so inclined."

She tried, unsuccessfully, not to laugh, "You haven't changed much, Mr. Boswell."

* * *

><p>Later that morning Joey had a strange sense of déjà vu. He'd lain in this position with Martina before, and he was half expecting to be thrown out of her bed.<p>

As if she knew what he was thinking Martina raised her head, "No pressure for you to leave this time Joey, things are different now." She rested back against him.

They certainly were. Elegant Georgian instead of squalid sixties tower block. Both of them sober. Still passionate, but gentler, kinder and more considered.

At her words Joey was pacified, this was what he had been longing for, the intense sense of fulfillment he could only seem to get after intimacy with someone he had meaningful feelings for. Far too often these moments with Roxy had been compromised by her demands for something or another. Although he wasn't clear what, if any, Martina's emotional attachment to him was, he was willing to go with her straightforward physical desires, certain she had no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive.

His finger traced the outline of the tattoo he'd glimpsed before. A bird arising from flames, towards the top of her left breast, a phoenix. He was positive she hadn't had it the last time he'd made love to her, drunk as he had been, that he would have remembered.

"I wouldn't have had you down as a fan of body art," he remarked.

"Mid-life crisis, I had them done as a fortieth birthday present to meself."

"Them? How many more have you got?" Joey was intrigued.

"One,"

"Oh, where?"

"Me right ankle."

Joey slid down to investigate, a dolphin.

"Suppose it's the equivalent of buying a powerful motorbike or fast car," he emerged from the foot of the bed.

She laughed, "Yeah, the car was me fiftieth present to meself."

Joey grinned, "What you got planned for your sixtieth then?"

"Hmm, I haven't decided yet."

"Why a phoenix?" It seemed an unusual choice to Joey, whereas the dolphin seemed more orthodox.

"Reasons."

"What reasons?"

"Er, a fresh start I suppose," she answered reluctantly, her tone making it clear to Joey that she didn't want to discuss it any further.

Joey kissed it, could be an omen for them, a fresh start together, he thought optimistically, something special rising from the ashes of their respective failures.

Noises overhead made Joey look up. Martina smiled, "It's only Joseph."

Joey frowned.

"Problem?" queried Martina.

"Er, no I suppose not, no. But I imagine he wouldn't be approving."

"Do you need his approval?" Something seemed to be amusing Martina, Joey could see it in her eyes.

"Well no, of course not, but I don't want him giving you any grief later, and he seems a bit, well, a bit defensive around you."

"Yeah, he is. But Joey, I don't interfere in his private life, so I don't expect him to interfere in mine." She paused, "Mind, he can be bloody moody at times."

Joey acknowledged in his mind another trait of his that seemed to have been inherited.

"Do you like his girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I do, she won't take any nonsense, and she's her own person if you know what I mean. She's good company as well. Must be nice to have a daughter."

Joey mused, "Susie and Jess have a great relationship, but on the other hand Aveline and Tracey don't seem to have much of a one at all. I suppose it depends on the mother."

"Yes it would, wouldn't it?" Martina was at her driest.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean me mam hated anyone we bought home, whoever they were and whatever they were like. So we had to hide things away, be secretive, it didn't help any of our relationships believe me. None of us made a success of things. And we could never be open and honest with me mam, or each other. So in the end it wasn't any good for the family either. Whereas you and Joe seem to have a much healthier relationship."

"How do you know that?"

"Joe, he was talking about one if his mates and the way his mam was acting. Said you never did that whatever you might be thinking."

"I don't believe in interfering Joey. He has to make his own decisions, make his own mistakes."

"Is she an only child?"

"No, youngest of four. Two of each. I think there's only five years between her and the oldest. Joseph said meeting her parents was fine, facing the other three was like the inquisition, with her sister more protective than the brothers, and they were bad enough."

Joey laughed, "He must have expected that though, she's their little sister."

"You know, I'm not sure he did, being an only child he's never had those sort of experiences."

"Would you have liked more?"

"Not under the circumstances. Bringing up one on me own was hard enough."

'Ouch,' thought Joey, though he didn't think she was trying to get at him, just saying it how it was.

"You didn't think about having a family with Shifty then?"

The look he was given caused Joey to backtrack quickly.

"No, sorry, stupid question. Roxy always refused to have any more, said she was too old."

Martina tightened her arms around him but stayed silent, apparently lost in thought.

The vision of what life could have been like if he'd got with Martina earlier stole into Joey's brain. They could have had a proper family life together. Children, Martina might have got the daughter she would have liked, holidays, days out, picnics, dogs. Roxy had always objected to animals in the home and had refused to allow Joey and Alex any pets. Perhaps cats as well. Despite never considering himself much of a cat person he was quite taken with Humphrey, the O'Riordan family cat, who ruled the household with a paw of iron. Martina, who by her own admission, often couldn't be bothered to cook, cheerfully cut up fresh offal for him every evening, and whilst Joe taunted Martina about this, she retorted that he allowed the cat to sleep, not just on, but in his bed, whereas she drew the line about him being in her bedroom at all.

Joey pulled himself up, and decided to change the subject.

"Alex said he could see why Joe was angry. Thought he'd be furious with the pair of us if it were him."

"Ah, the righteousness of youth." Martina mocked.

Joey looked at her, clearly she hadn't taken the disapproval to heart the way he had.

"No, but well they both had issues in their childhoods, didn't they?"

"Who doesn't?" exploded Martina, "They don't know the half of it. You had your dad and his wanderings, I had a gambling addict for a father, but it could have been so much worse. We both had mams who cared for us and kept us safe, whatever their other shortcomings. Ok, so neither of them knew their biological father, but Joseph had me and Alex had you. They were looked after and loved. I was at a meeting recently about supporting care leavers, they're the ones with real issues Joey. Abuse, neglect, violence, it's heartbreaking hearing what some kids have to go through."

She stopped for a moment.

"There's no mileage in worrying about the past Joey. What's done is done. We can't go back and change things. It's better to concentrate on the here and now, what it is that we can change."

Noticing the position he had Martina in at present focused Joey on what he could be doing in the here and now. Seemed like good advice to follow.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

FACING THE FAMILY

Joey stopped the car outside Our Lady of Mount Carmel and switched off the ignition. He had to go through with this, now Joe had met his dad and Lillian he couldn't delay putting Nellie in the picture any longer. He got out and opened the door for his mam.

As they walked towards the church Nellie felt queasy, if Joey was bringing her here it meant he had something to say that he was expecting her to take exception to. He'd already told her that he'd finally come to his senses and left that tart, so what on earth did he need to bring her here for?

"Why do you want to talk to me here Joey? You're not in debt again are you?" she asked apprehensively.

"No mam nothing like that," he steered Nellie into the Lady Chapel and then a pew. They both knelt for a few moments.

Joey waited until they were seated.

"Mam,"

"Oh, you've not got some one pregnant have you?"

"Not currently."

"What do you mean by that Joey?"

"Well mam," he fiddled with his watch, "I did, er, I did actually get someone pregnant, a while ago."

"So Alex is yours then?"

"He's not, no, but…"

"Oh, Joey,"

"Mam," he interrupted, "let me finish, please."

"I discovered that I have a son who's twenty, his…."

"Twenty!" yelled Nellie, then remembering where she was, crossed herself, "twenty," she whispered, "you made vows Joey when you got married. Did they mean so little to you?" She glared at him, voice rising. "Have you turned into your father?" She emphasised every word, her head nodding.

"Look mam, it was a one off. Roxy and I were having problems, I met an old friend, she was having problems, we had a bit too much to drink, and well,"

"I can work out the rest," snapped Nellie.

"She didn't tell me at the time, she was worried about breaking up my marriage."

"Pity she didn't think of that before." Nellie with a red face and pursed lips was getting ready to go into rant mode.

Joey was prepared to reign her in, "Well we didn't, I'm just as responsible, it does take two."

Nellie heeded the warning edge to Joey's tone and backed off. "So how did you find out?"

"Matt."

"Oh, the love child who looks like you, he said he was twenty-five and you said nothing to do with me."

"Well it wouldn't have been if he'd been twenty-five, I told you it was a one off. But Matt must have spoken to him and then told me he was twenty and his name was Joe. I knew there was a possibility I could have a twenty year old, so I traced his mother. Wasn't easy, I didn't even know her surname."

"Joseph Boswell," Nellie was deeply shocked, "you made a baby and you didn't even know her name. I thought you said she was an old friend."

"She was, is, I just never knew her surname."

"Strange sort of friend Joey." Nellie shook her head. "Who is she?"

"Martina."

"Martina! Shifty's Martina?" Nelly's pitch was rising once more.

"Yes," Joey gulped.

"Dear Lord, it's getting worse. So Shifty's been raising your son, you've raised some one else's, no doubt someone else had to raise Shifty's, it would have been so much easier if you'd just all raised your own." Nellie was getting shrill.

"Mam you're in church, quiet now."

"Is this why you left Roxy?"

"I suppose it was the final straw, but, well, things haven't been right for a long time," admitted Joey reluctantly. Roxy was the last person he wanted to discuss with his mam.

"They were never right Joey. I've been telling you that for years."

"You have mam, yes."

Nellie dropped to her knees, and closed her eyes. Joey waited uncomfortably, his thoughts drifting off.

"Take me home Joey." Nellie wasn't sure what to make of it all. Part of her was thrilled that Joey had a child of his own, part of her was angry with him for getting himself in a situation like that in the first place, and part of her was flummoxed as to why the mother hadn't wanted any support from him.

Joey helped his mother up and escorted her to the car.

"Would it help if I told you he'd been confirmed in the Wigwam?"

"No." Nellie was not to be mollified.

They drove to Kelsall Street in silence. Out of habit Joey took his usual seat at the kitchen table, whilst Nellie crashed around behind him.

"Have you told the others?"

"I haven't no, I wanted to tell you first, mam." Joey thought it would be sensible to skate over the point that his dad, Lillian and Oswald all knew. And that his dad and Lillian had met both Joe and Martina, a meeting which had gone extremely well. Freddie and Lillian had been good hosts, as they always were, plenty of food and drink provided, and an easy going and welcoming atmosphere. Not that Joey was drinking, he'd made a point of driving so he had an excuse not to, he hadn't forgotten that it wasn't that long ago since he'd passed out drunk on their sofa. Not that he'd had any chance of forgetting, Freddie thinking it worth referring to several times, much to Martina's amusement. Joe in turn regaled them with a story of once, when he was fourteen, having to collect Martina at 7 o'clock one evening, after she had joined a friend one lunchtime for a quick drink, and walk her home, as she was completely incapable of managing it herself. Martina, he discovered, was quite happy to laugh at herself, and joke about losing the moral high ground over drink where Joe was concerned. Freddie and Lillian were delighted at the appearance of another grandson and both of them seemed to take instantly to Martina. Watching Martina and Lillian talking away Joey felt a renewed sadness that his mam had never able to form friendships with her children's partners, she had never liked or approved of anyone who had been bought home. Some she eventually just about tolerated, that is if they hung around long enough, others she refused to countenance at all. And of course they all knew it, and either avoided her or were merely polite to her. He was glad though that this had been a success, it would help smooth the way for meetings with the rest of the family. He thought it was touching the way Joe had wanted his mam present, though whether it was to reassure Martina that she was included in any new relationships he made, or because he wasn't quite as self assured in this situation as he made out, Joey couldn't decide.

Nellie banged two cups of coffee down, interrupting his reflections.

"What does he think about it all?"

"He was shocked, a bit angry at first, well more than a bit. I guess he's still sorting out his feelings."

"And his mother?"

"I think she preferred it with me not knowing to be honest, but," he stopped. His mother had a knack of being able to read him and he didn't want her to get any idea about how things were with Martina, he shrugged.

She looked at him intently, was she the reason he wouldn't take his rightful place at the family table?

"Shifty?"

"Inside again. From what I gather he's been in and out, mainly in."

"And she puts up with that?"

"Not any more."

"And you, Joey how are you?"

"I'm not sure mam," he answered honestly.

He sighed, "It was easier not knowing, but now I do, I'm well, gutted in some ways, but pleased in others, I'm still coming to terms with it too. I wish she'd told me at the time though."

"Do you, do you really Joey or are you just saying that?" Nellie was far more perceptive than Joey ever gave her credit for. Nellie was struggling with her conflicting feelings, and she had an uncharacteristic urge to shake Joey for the mess that he had made of his life.

He looked at his mam, disconcerted.

"Yes of, oh I dunno," he lapsed back into his thoughts. It had certainly made his life smoother not knowing, but he still regretted that Martina hadn't felt able to involve him. At the same time he was fully aware that he would have wanted to do right by her, and he didn't need to imagine the scenes with Roxy that would have caused. And the fallout. So maybe,…

He became aware that his mother was addressing him again.

"Would she come here, this Martina to talk to me?"

"I can ask her mam, I can't tell her what to do." Joey was surprised by his mother's request.

"I'm aware of that Joey, but I'd like to see her, this mother of your son," she paused, "my grandson, Joey."

"I'll ask her mam, I promise I'll ask her."

"Are you sure he's yours?" Nellie thought she'd better check before she got carried away.

"Well, the dates fit and he does look like me, but I haven't asked for a test. I mean if I hadn't tracked Martina down and questioned her I'd still be none the wiser, would I? She doesn't want anything from me. It's a bit late for child support, isn't it? And it's been touch and go whether the lad's even wanted anything to do with me either, so I can't see why she'd be lying about it. Besides, she's not like that mam, she's not that sort of a person."

Nellie nodded, "I see." She wasn't totally convinced by his final sentence, Joey's track record with women wasn't great. Look at that tart he'd defended for years. And this woman had been abandoned enough to sleep with a married man, another tart.

"Would you like to see a picture of him?"

"Yes please." His mother put on her glasses to look at the phone Joey handed her.

"Oh Joey, he's the image of you." The words came out of her mouth before she had a chance to think about what she was saying.

There was he thought a faint tinge of pride in his mother's tone.

"And is that his mother?" Nellie sniffed.

Joey had forgotten that a photo he'd taken of Martina was next on the roll.

"It is, yes." Joey hoped his voice was neutral.

His mother eyed him suspiciously, but said nothing, much to his relief.

She handed back his phone.

"When will you tell the family, Joey?"

"I don't know, what do you think best, separately or all together?"

"It might be easier if I ask them round to tea, then you can get it over with in one hit, and Billy might get drowned out a bit. The youngsters who are away can be told by their parents they have another cousin."

"Ok mam, I'll leave it to you to organise. And mam, thanks for taking it so well." Joey was relieved his mum had been far more accepting than he had anticipated.

Nellie raised her eyes, "he's one of ours Joey, he's family."

* * *

><p>Martina looked at him, "a royal summons eh? "<p>

Joey was reassured to see an impish grin on her face.

When he'd told his mother Martina wanted nothing from him, he'd omitted to mention that she did seem to want him fairly frequently, a level of detail he was pretty sure his mother could do without. He pulled her in for a lingering kiss.

He drew back, "something like that."

"Alright then."

He sat up and looked down at her surprised. "Just like that. I didn't think you'd agree. I mean she can be difficult."

"Can't we all," Martina still had an impish smile playing round her face.

"When?" Joey thought he'd take advantage of Martina's good humour and get it sorted quickly, before perceiving he was doing to Martina what Roxy used to do to him. Different though he told himself, this could have benefits for all of them eventually.

"After work Tuesday or Thursday I've nothing on then."

"Ok, leave it to me."

"I can't speak for Joseph though. It'll be down to him if he wants to meet your lot."

"Of course Martina, I know that."

"I know you know, I was thinking about yer mam."

"Martina, you're a wonderful women."

"Yeah I know, come here."

Joey didn't need telling a second time.

* * *

><p>Joey sat in his car wondering what was happening two streets away. He'd driven past Kelsall Street twice and both times Martina's car had been parked outside number thirty.<p>

His phone rang, "Mam?"

"You can come out now Joey, the kettles on."

He was surprised to see Martina's car still there.

"Joey," he turned, Billy beckoned him in to twenty-eight, "Joey it's her, it's that Martina women, she's with our mam Joey. She's been in there ages"

Joey just about managed to keep a straight face, "I know Billy, I know. Don't worry I'll sort it son."

He left quickly and went in next door.

His mam and Martina were sitting at the kitchen table, empty cups and plates in front of them.

"So, everything ok then?" he asked tentatively.

They both looked at him.

"Yes Joey," said his mam, "everything's ok."

Martina's eyes were full of mischief, she had a smile peeping round the edges of her mouth, and a 'wait till I get you on your own' expression.

Joey sat down, and helped himself to coffee and cake. His free hand reached under the table and found Martina's, and he squeezed it tenderly. She gave a quick grasp in return and rose from the table, "I have to get off, thanks for the tea Mrs Boswell. See you Joey." She waved and turned to the door.

Nellie saw her out, "Thanks for coming luv." She returned to the table.

Joey said nothing, no doubt his mother would be full of criticism. He was determined not to get into an argument, after all he hadn't taken Martina home, she had come in response to Nellie's invitation.

" She seems quite pleasant. I wouldn't have taken her for a tart."

Joey had become increasingly moody over the years, his temper on an ever shorter fuse. His family had learnt to tread carefully around him at times. And it was turning into one of those times.

"She's not a tart, mam." His voice was low with the edge to it that would have immediately shut up every other member of his family including Billy.

"Joey, she did seduce you when she knew you were a married man," Nellie ignored the warning signs.

He got up, coffee half finished, "No, she didn't."

"She got you drunk, Joey,"

He walked to the door, still speaking evenly and quietly, "She did not. I was, and am, a responsible adult and I'm quite capable of getting myself drunk, and deciding who to sleep with. I'm also prepared to accept the consequences of me own actions. God knows how, when you've bought us up to believe that we're always the passive victims of some one else's bad behaviour. That it's always some-one else's fault, never ours."

He stopped, hand on the latch, and turned, "You never learn do you mam? If you want to get to know Joe you are going to have to be civil to Martina."

"I'm his grandmother, Joey. He's the son of my eldest."

"Yes, and she's his mother with a lot more claim on him than you." He walked out and shut the door silently behind him.

Nellie stood with her mouth agape, used to being pandered to and indulged by her sons, she found it hard to come to terms with Joey's subdued defiance. He was the only one of her children who ever dared to confront her, and he had been doing so ever since he'd married that tart. She sat back down wondering how she was going to appease Joey, she was after all, desperate to meet his son.

* * *

><p>Joey sat cradling a mug of coffee and staring unseeingly at his TV screen. Why was his mother so judgemental of others, so quick to denigrate, so unwilling to allow her children to accept responsibility for themselves? How many of her children's relationships had she sabotaged over the years? Billy and Julie, Billy and Connie, Jack and Rachael, Jack and Leonora, him and Roxy, Adrian and Carmen, Magdelana, Irene, and anyone else he'd tried to be with. In fact, everyone any of then had ever been involved with. She seemed to want to keep them all sitting round the table with her at the helm for the rest of her life. Didn't want them to lead their own lives away from her. Once Joey started on this train of thought, he knew the next thing that would wind him up was her treatment of Alex. It still rankled with him.<p>

A pang of hunger reminded him that he hadn't eaten since breakfast, he glanced at his watch, 10pm. He moved into the kitchen and found a microwave dinner in the freezer. He set it on, wondering what Martina had made of it all, and how his mam had behaved to her. He'd got the initial impression that it had been alright.

It struck him that she just might find the tart epithet funny. He'd understood, without approving, for years why his dad had been attracted to Lillian, why he'd eventually left the family home, and why he had stayed faithful to her. They'd pretty much lived together now for thirty years, more than he'd managed with Nellie. He'd certainly been faithful to Lillian for longer than he had to Nellie. As the microwave pinged Joey finally accepted that Nellie with her ridiculous rules, philosophies, and standards must have been impossible for his dad to live up to. He took his dinner, such as it was, back to the TV and flicked through trying to find something to watch to occupy his mind. His mam? Well, she was going to have to make her own choice about how she acted, and accept the outcomes, it was out of his hands. He didn't need to do anything.

Nellie was also watching TV and trying to think what she could say to Joey. She had the family coming round on Sunday for tea so he could tell them his news. Sometimes she let her mouth run away with itself, she couldn't help it. The most pointless thing about it all was that she hadn't actually disliked Martina, and they'd had a pleasant enough conversation. Nellie had been well mannered and courteous, and kept her sharp tongue under control. She was more concerned that Joey was going to dive headlong into another relationship, and she had wanted to let him know that she didn't approve. But she knew she'd have to contact him in the morning, and eat humble pie.

She was confidant he would give her another chance, after all she was his mother.

* * *

><p>SUNDAY AFTERNOON<p>

Joey was in the yard, smoking, he hadn't smoked regularly in years, but when he was stressed he reached for the packet. He could hear his sister and brothers, and their families laughing and joking waiting for him to join them at the table. The two little lads had taken a ball up to the rec, he knew Nellie was going to call them in after he'd spoken. He was nervous about how this was going to go. He finished his cigarette, resisted the temptation to light another and went in.

"I've asked you round because Joey has something he wants to say to you all." Nellie spoke as soon as he entered.

All eyes turned to Joey standing by the back door.

He swallowed, "Er, well I found out recently that, er I have a son. His name's Joe, he's twenty and his mother is Martina."

There was total silence, you could have heard the proverbial pin drop. Joey kept his eyes focused on the floor, so was spared the differing expressions on his family's faces, ranging from a 'good on yer son' on Jack's, to appalled on Adrian's.

"Martina, the DHSS lady?" Adrian spoke first.

"Yes," Joey was dreading the next few minutes.

He was aghast. "Oh, Joey, how did you manage that?"

"How do you think Adrian?" Joey was becoming irritated already.

Jack burst out laughing, "Now that's what you call a benefit eh? You always did get a personal service from her."

"Jack, wash your mouth out!" Nellie was not amused.

"Ar'ey, Joey that must have been a shock. Are you alright?"

"Just about Princess, just about."

Matt was looking thoughtful.

"Is it Joe, the one I told you about?"

"It is, yes."

"So, he's my cousin then?"

"Obviously Matt," Oswald glared at him.

"Cool," commented Matt, oblivious of his father.

"She was here last week with mam," Billy was looking puzzled.

"She was, yes," answered Joey, curtly.

"But, if he's twenty, you were married then, that's called adultery that is, no wonder..." Billy had ignored the looks from his family and continued speaking until drowned out by Aveline.

"Billy, you don't say things like that!"

For a moment it looked like Joey might finally snap and lay one on him, but fortunately for Billy, Jack and Adrian hauled him up, dragged him to the front door, dumped him out in the street, and slammed the door behind him, whilst Oswald, Matt and John prevented Joey from following.

"Oh Joey, don't take any notice of Billy, he hasn't got the sense he was born with." Aveline tried to placate her eldest brother.

Susie and Jess pushed Joey into the chair next to Aveline, and put a hand each on his shoulders trusting that however angry he was, he wouldn't lay a finger on them, and Tanya thrust the strong drink she had poured out at him.

Nellie had followed the boys, and was yelling at her youngest to get inside number twenty-eight and stay there.

"Quite like old times, eh?" Oswald attempted to lighten the atmosphere.

"Just need dad with his cart," Jack joined in.

"And Lilo Lil to yell down the street," added Adrian.

Joey took a deep breath and ran his hand round his collar straightening his tie, "Sorry, but…"

"We know," said Adrian patting his hand. "We know."

"Tan, pour out some drinks all round, eh" Jack grinned at his daughter.

"Seems like we've got a reason to celebrate."

"Eh Joey, what's he like?" asked Aveline timidly.

Joey handed her his phone, "Aw Joey, he's just like you were at that age."

"Told you," Matt gloated, his father glared at him once more. "It's great, one of the girls his girlfriend shares with is dead fit, they were in Seebo's last night, they live just opposite, if I'd known I could've claimed family connections and asked for an introduction."

She handed it on.

"You couldn't deny he's yours," grinned Jack when it reached him.

"I don't want to," protested Joey. "And I wouldn't have denied it at the time either."

"Joey, she'd have had her reasons," pointed out Susie

"Yeah, I know," he acknowledged.

"Is he one of us though?" asked Jack.

"Well he's a red, been confirmed but not practicing, and crosses the line a bit, a lot, work wise from what I can gather."

"Great," commented Jack, "one of ours eh?"

"Not another one," Adrian had a different take, "our family honesty is hanging by a thread, hanging by a thread."

"Aw, don't get all puritanical Adrian, I can't stand it," Aveline got up to refill some glasses.

"When do we get to meet him then?" asked Jack

"When he's ready. I mean it's a bit daunting, all of us isn't it?"

"And what about her? Martina?" leered Jack.

"It's none of your business," retorted Joey smartly, his good temper nearly restored.

"Oh, like that, I see," Jack sniggered, but was prevented from continuing by Nellies return.

She looked around, "If you've all finished discussing this matter we'll have tea. John run up and call the boys in. Joey, you will have to go in and see Billy before you leave. I'll come with you."

Meekly the Boswell family did as they were told and settled round the table, ready to enjoy Nellie's baking.

Joey looked round his family, soothed by the chatter and gratified by his family's easy acceptance of the situation. He felt sure that Joe would be able to fit in with his family, eventually, when he was ready, and they could all rub along together successfully.

He was hopeful that he would be able to maintain his relationship with Alex, and continue to build on the one with Joe, and maybe, in the future the two of them would meet and get on.

Also, he'd managed to avoid being reeled back in by Roxy, and she had quietened recently. Knowing Roxy though, that just meant she was gearing up for something devastating, still he could meet that when it arose. No point speculating and worrying in advance.

And as for Martina, well he would just have to let things take their course, but he thought he'd detected some tenderness, a slight shift in her attitude towards him, and he was more optimistic than he had been that there might, just might be some sort of a future with her for him.

Yes, Joey thought, life was definitely looking up.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

THE THAWING OF NELLIE

Nellie paid the cab and walked up the steps to the front door, a mixture of excitement and apprehension. She was amazed at the size of the house. Four stories of refined Georgian townhouse. Who'd have thought it? The other side of that door was her grandson, the son of her eldest, her right hand, whom she was going to meet for the first time.

Nellie had met Martina once, years ago at the DHSS and hadn't been impressed, and she had considered her totally lacking in taste after discovering that she'd not only had a spin on the sexual roundabout with Freddie's wayward nephew Shifty, but had lived with him on and off for many years. Nellie had been astounded to discover that Joey, her Joey, had a one night stand with her and clearly, much as he'd pretended to be indifferent the other day, forgetting that Nellie had known him since before he was born, still cherished some fondness for her.

However, after meeting her again recently, her attitude had altered a tiny bit, Martina did seem a down to earth, warm person and Nellie admired her for getting on with her life and raising the lad alone, determined not to damage Joey's marriage. Although Joey would probably have been far better off with her, thought Nellie, than the tart he had landed himself with, and stuck with for so long.

Martina opened the door, smiling. "Come in luv," she invited her into the sitting room and took her coat.

"Take a seat," she gestured towards a settee and sat down herself. "Joseph's just bringing the tray."

Nellie sneaked at look round. Conventional, understated, fairly minimal, vases of nice flowers, and a welcoming fire. Fancy that, a real coal fire. But, with some unusual artwork that was definitely not to her taste. A large tortoiseshell cat lay basking in the winter sunlight on the wide window ledge.

Nellie gestured to him, "Isn't he gorgeous?"

"Yeah, he's lovely, very good natured. Joseph is always messing about with him and he never makes a fuss. He lived in the house next door when it was a student let, and when the landlord sold up Joseph offered to take him in. That's why he's stuck with a stupid name liked Humphrey."

"Oh, it's not that bad. Could be after Sir Humphrey, in Yes Minister."

"Not sure they were old enough to have seen that. But he certainly gets his own way, so perhaps it fits after all," smiled Martina.

The door opened, Nellie leant forward expectantly, catching her breath.

Oh, it was just like going back forty years her Joey, her handsome Joey, standing there with tea and biscuits on a tray.

He put the tray down and smiled.

"Hi, er do you prefer nan or gran?" he asked

"Oh, nan."

"Hi nan," he leant down and hugged her.

Nellie melted.

Martina reflected, she was glad for Joseph that he had a chance to get to know some of his close paternal relatives as he had a distinct lack of maternal ones. Martina had a few aunts and uncles in Athlone whom they visited a couple of times a year, and various cousins scattered around England and Ireland that they saw occasionally. However, she wasn't sure she wanted to be dragged into the Boswell family with him. The trouble was, Martina was beginning to admit to herself that Joey Boswell meant more to her than a mere sexual partner. And being involved with Joey meant being involved with the rest of the herd. What were their mottos? She'd known them off by heart one time. 'Birds and bees, animals and flowers, me and mine, us and ours,' came back to her. That just about summed them up.

Martina still wasn't sure exactly what had prompted her to make a move on Joey at Hale Beach, she hadn't set out with that intention. She'd walked there with some friends the previous Saturday and remembered Joey mentioning it and thought it might nice to take him there.

Watching him sitting against the bank, tension and worry etched on his face, she had a sudden urge to kiss him and had acted without thinking any further. She'd apologised, not that he'd been upset, far from it. Although he obviously wasn't expecting it, he had responded enthusiastically enough. Martina had been fascinated watching his face while some sort of struggle was going on in his mind, she would have dearly loved to know what it was, before he'd flung himself down in a ridiculous over-dramatic pose. Laughing at him, she made a sudden decision to take him to bed and to hell with the consequences, after all it had been two, nearly three years since Shifty had been arrested and they'd last made love. And when she'd thrown caution to the wind and embarked on that course, she told herself it was purely physical, no flim-flam. It was easy to rationalise, they were both lonely, had suffered relationship breakdowns, enjoyed each other's company, and had no ties. And it had been fulfilling, she had forgotten, or perhaps never known how sweet Joey could be.

Martina realised fairly quickly that Joey did have some feelings for her, wasn't difficult, he always did wear his heart on his sleeve. She did feel a bit guilty, but she'd never offered him anything but friendship and sex, no strings, no conditions, no trade offs, just straightforward sex. Friends with benefits, if you like. No promises were made to him, and Joey seemed prepared to accept that. Therefore to find herself caring about him, worrying about him, wanting to be with him more and more, was unnerving and unsettling.

Martina dragged her mind back to her sitting room where Joseph and Nellie were talking away. She noticed the pot was empty and decided to go for a refill. Humphrey, always with a nod to his stomach, raced behind. After feeding him Martina was about to put the kettle on, still trying to work out just what her feelings about Joey were, when the bell rang. She raced upstairs to open it, with a strong suspicion who it was likely to be.

"Greetings."

"Joey," she pulled him in and led him downstairs.

Shutting the kitchen door she kissed him fervently holding him to her tightly.

"I'm definitely wearing this cologne more often," joked Joey, as he was finally released.

"Your mam's upstairs talking to Joseph."

Joey looked at her puzzled, he couldn't make the connection between that piece of information and his unexpectedly enthusiastic greeting.

"I know sweetheart, she's been talking and fretting about nothing else all week," he answered. "I just came by to see how it went, I didn't expect her to still be here."

"Seems to be going famously, they haven't stopped talking."

Joey moved over to make some coffee. As he was waiting for the kettle, Martina came up behind, her hands caressing him, he was just about to reciprocate,

"Mam do you think you could put him down for a minute and let him get on with making nan some more tea?" Joseph, red faced, was not particularly impressed to walk in on a scene like that.

Joey could feel Martina sniggering into his back.

"Ok," he answered with difficulty, desperately trying not to laugh.

Joseph banged out, giving both of them the chance to giggle like a pair of teenagers. A few moments later, refreshments sorted, they returned to the sitting room, struggling to keep their amusement under control.

"Mam," Joey bent down to greet Nellie.

"Oh Joey, oh Joey luv." Nellie could barely speak coherently.

He could see that she was delighted by her grandson and a little awestruck by the whole situation.

Joey sat down on the arm of Martina's chair, resting his arm proprietarily round her shoulders.

Joseph looked at them with narrowed eyes. It was bad enough that Joey spent as much time as he did in his mam's bed without them going public. What on earth must his nan think? After all, Joey had his own flat and they were free to do what they liked there, it wouldn't kill them to show a bit of decorum here in front of him and his nan.

Joseph needn't have worried about Nellie's reaction. At this moment in time she was prepared to forgive anyone and anything that had resulted in Joseph, whom she was completely bowled over by.

Actually, eagle-eyed Nellie had noted it down, quickly realising that Joey in his quiet, understated way, was making it clear to her that, like it or not, Martina had some part in his life. She wasn't sure that she did approve, but Joey was certainly entitled to a bit of luck in his private life. And if Martina had spent years hanging around for Shifty, maybe she too deserved a break. Not that anyone merited her Joey. But, she reminded herself sternly, Martina had given birth to, and raised his son so perhaps she, Nellie Boswell, should make an exception and be welcoming her into the Boswell fold. She beamed at them both.

"Shall we go for a meal?" suggested Joey.

"What for Joey?" asked Nellie.

"To eat, mam," he replied seriously. "We can go to the Que Pasa in Lark Lane, then drop you home on the way back.

"Suits me," said Joe, "I'll just change."

Martina nodded with reasonably good grace, she'd had a hard week, had given over her Saturday afternoon to Nellie's visit and had been looking forward to a relaxing evening in. Still, it would bring the visit to a close, not that it had been as awkward as she was expecting. Anticipating that Nellie might be difficult with her, she had been keen that Joseph visit Nellie in her Kelsall Street lair, either on his own, or with Joey, but he had wanted Nellie to come to them and he'd wanted her present. It had been difficult to refuse, after all she'd had no problem agreeing to meet Freddie and Lillian with him. Martina didn't want to explain her reasons to Joseph, not wanting to prejudice him against his grandmother, but she couldn't imagine feeling at ease with Nellie in the way she'd been able to with Freddie and Lillian.

"Oh, that was our Aveline's favourite restaurant, I'm amazed it's still there," Nellie marvelled.

"Still going strong mam, still going strong."

He helped his mother into her coat, and led the way out to his car.

"Are you going to be ok in the back with Joe? asked Joey, "Mam's a bit old to go clambering over seats, and it's pointless taking two cars."

"Course Joey." The journey is the least of me problems, thought Martina, aware like all the Boswell partners, of Nellie's inherent dislike. She assumed that Nellie was under firm instructions from Joey to be on her best behaviour and to be fair so far she had been.

She gazed out of the window during the drive down to Lark Lane, without contributing to the conversation.

"You ok, sweetheart?" Joey was anxious as he helped her out of the car.

"Yeah, fine just a bit tired," she gave him a reassuring smile.

Joey wasn't completely convinced but knew this wasn't the time to push it, and ushered them into the restaurant.

"Ah, Mr Boswell, table for tw.. er, four, yes?"

"Thank you, yes."

Martina flashed him a glance, not a spur of the moment decision then.

He returned her look with an apologetic smile. He'd booked the restaurant with a view to treating Martina after the afternoon's ordeal, having assumed that his mam would be safely back in Kelsall Street by the time he got there.

She rolled her eyes and accepted the menu from the waiter.

Fortunately Joseph had plenty to say and as Nellie's focus was firmly on him, Martina's quietness went unquestioned and the meal passed off without any complications.

"I'll just see you in mam," said Joey, as he pulled up outside number thirty.

Nellie turned and hugged her grandson and smiled at Martina, "Good night luv."

Martina was able to smile a "Good night," back and sank with relief into her seat, for a moment she thought they were going to have to go in. Deep in her own thoughts she had missed Joey blithely lying to his mam about Martina having a theatre ticket booked and needing to be off.

"Do you want to sit in the front, mam?"

Joseph waited for a response, "Mam?"

"Sorry Joseph, what did you say?" Martina hadn't been listening.

"Do you want to sit in the front?" he repeated.

"No, I'm alright."

"Ok, then I will." Joseph extricated himself and moved into the seat vacated by Nellie.

Joey returned, he'd managed to get away from Nellie quickly with the excuse of having to drive Martina and Joe back. He wasn't in the mood to listen to Nellie's effusions over Joe, nor criticisms of Martina. He was actually doing Nellie an injustice, she hadn't been intending to make any negative comments about Martina.

Joe was in a particularly good mood and was chatting to Joey amicably, throughout the journey.

"Right, I'm off to Mai's," Joe stated, holding the seat for his mam to climb past.

"Do you want dropping?"

"Nah, she's only this end of Seel Street. Thanks anyway."

Joe walked off, and Joey turned to Martina, "do you fancy a drink?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Joey took her arm, and propelled her to the Grapes, the pub Joe had informed him was Martina's favourite. She was clearly a popular patron, judging by the greetings she received, and Joey was treated to a number of sidelong glances from both staff and customers.

They sat nursing their drinks at a corner table.

"Well sweetheart, that's out of the way." Joey was aware Martina had found it a bit of a strain.

"Yeah, still Joseph can take things forward as he sees fit now, I've done my bit." Martina was relieved it was over.

Joey squeezed her arm, never normally short of words he found it hard to convey to Martina what it had meant to his mam to meet with Joe. And to him as well, to see them together. He settled for, "they're not all that difficult you know."

"Who aren't?" Martina had lost the thread.

"The rest of me family, they're all much easier."

Martina laughed, "even Billy?"

"Well, Billy can be a pain but he's not difficult."

"No, I guess not. It's ok Joey, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. And I do think it's good for Joe to meet his family. After all they are his flesh and blood, no matter what I think."

Joey started, that was the last thing he'd expected to hear from Martina.

"You know you really are an amazing woman."

"What do you want now, Joey?"

"Cynical lady, so cynical. It's quite uncalled for you know. I was just expressing me admiration for you."

"Hmm," Martina finished her drink. "Another?"

It went against all Joey's instincts for Martina to walk to the bar and get him a drink, but fortunately his brain kicked in just in time, and he answered,

"Vodka and tonic, please."

She returned to the table with the drinks as though it were a perfectly normal thing to do which he supposed it was, even if it did make him feel slightly uncomfortable.

He relaxed, Martina seemed to have reverted to her normal self and they enjoyed a comfortable evening together.

When they finally left at closing time Joey understood what Joe had said about being able to fall home. Not that they were drunk, but it was nice to be only a few moments away, providing of course, that Martina was happy with him staying. He followed Martina up the steps as she held the door for him. Yes, he thought, looks like she's ok with it. He shut the door firmly behind him.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

FIREWORKS

"Which room do you prefer Joey?"

"Mam?"

"Christmas Joey, which room do you want to sleep in?"

"Neither mam, I'm spending Christmas with Joe and Martina"

"But Christmas is a time for family Joey."

"Joe is my family mam," Joey reproved her.

In truth he had no idea what he was doing for Christmas, it just irritated him that his mam felt she had first call on his time, still wanted to be at the centre of his world.

"Oh, oh yes of course, yes."

Nellie scuttled into the kitchen hoping that Joey wouldn't be too sharp with her over her gaffe. She had been so looking forward to him being around Christmas Day, the first one since he'd eloped, coming with her to mass, offsetting Billy's uncouthness, and sitting down to dinner with her.

She came back with a plate of scones, "Sorry luv, I was forgetting."

"It takes a while to get used to mam, it takes a while."

Nellie breathed out, one thing she was grateful to Martina for, apart from providing her with a wonderful grandson, was the fact that since Joey had been around her he had been less moody and his temper slightly improved. At times Nellie had felt she was treading on eggshells whenever she was around him, all the fault of that tart of course. He was clearly more content than he had been in years.

When Joey left number 30 he decided to call by Mount Street to see if either of them were in, maybe being able to spend some time with them would settle him. He'd woken up with the cloud over him, hadn't been able to shift it and the visit to his mam had lowered it further.

He arrived just as Martina's shopping was being delivered, a welcome extra pair of hands.

"Thanks Joey, good timing," Martina put the last few items away.

Joey noticed several loaves of soda bread on cooling racks, a small and large sponge pudding, an enormous pot on the stove, and the oven light on. He looked around expecting to see Joe, he'd never yet seen Martina cook anything.

"You expecting a platoon for dinner?" he joked.

"No, it's my turn on the soup run, once a month I make a pan and take it to the centre."

Martina gathered all the loaves but one, the large pudding, turned out the gas, clamped the lid and lifted the pan.

"Looks heavy sweetheart, allow me. Where do you want it taking?"

"The car please, Joey."

"There's a casserole in the oven, bread and treacle pudding on the side, and cream in the fridge. Help yourself." She waved and shot off.

Joey went back in, he hadn't realised Martina went in for that sort of thing. He went into the sitting room, switched on the TV, took off his jacket and tie and sat down. As soon as he sat in the chair Humphrey jumped into his lap, nudging his hand until he started stroking him. Joey lay back, still stroking the cat, half watching TV and half dozing.

The click of the front door startled him for a minute, "In here," he called.

"Hi Joey, mam?"

"She's on the soup run, there's a casserole in the oven."

"Oh course, 1st Tuesday. Do you want some? It'll be blind scouse, she can't stand boiled lamb, so she always does a version without for us on soup run nights. Mam won't bother to cook two totally different things."

"No, I'll wait for her."

"Ok," he disappeared, returning a few minutes later with a plate and two bottles, one of which he gave to Joey.

"Friend of mine has started up a micro brewery, just bottled at the moment, no cask, these are his first batches."

He tried his bottle, "Not bad is it?"

"No, it's fine. Are you supposed to be eating in here?"

"Nope, but she won't be back till nine and I'll have cleared it by then." Joe grinned. "By the way you'll get covered in hair," he pointed to Humphrey stretched out across Joey.

"It'll brush off."

Once he'd finished he took his stuff down and came up with two more bottles.

"Mm, bit sweet for me this one. What do you think?"

"It's ok, I preferred the first."

"Same here."

A car stopped outside, then the door opened.

Joe got up, "Want a hand?"

"Thanks luv,"

Joey stood up as well, Humphrey stalked off, tail flashing, indignant at being moved.

"Told you so," said Joe, laughing at the state of Joey's trousers.

Joe put his mam's stuff in the utility room, handed Joey a clothes brush, kissed his mam, and breezed off with a "See you later."

"Have you eaten Joey?"

"No, I thought I'd wait for you."

She dished up, "You're in luck, it's meat free.'

Both the bread and the casserole were excellent, as was desert. Joey was slightly surprised. He didn't have Martina down as the domestic type.

She went to clear, but Joey stopped her. "I'll do it, you go on up."

He cleared, made the coffee and started the dishwasher. As he made his way upstairs he couldn't for the life of him think why they hadn't moved the kitchen from the basement. Up and down every five minutes.

Martina was curled up on the sofa when he entered. He placed the mugs down and sat next to her. He put his arm round her and pulled her towards him.

"Are you ok, Joey?" Martina was extremely astute and knew just how fragile Joey was at the moment, the 'me' rather than 'Joey Boswell' as he had once put it.

"I am now sweetheart, I am now." And he was. The dark cloud that had been hanging around him all day and which had started to lift as soon as he lugged the first box of shopping down, finally floated off, the minute he felt her warmth and weight against him.

She took his hand, stroked his fingertips, raised it to her lips and kissed it gently.

"I like it when you're here Joey." She held it against her. "It's nice."

Joey gave her a sweet smile and kissed the top of her head. "I like being with you too Martina," he whispered. There was something reassuring about the feel of her heart beating steadily against his hand, together with her words, for Martina wasn't given to false sentiment, if she said it she meant it, which helped to dispel those lingering doubts he kept having about leaving Roxy.

* * *

><p><span>BONFIRE NIGHT<span>

Next morning they were sitting at the table discussing the black pudding, made by one of Joe's acquaintances, part of a leisurely breakfast prepared and cooked by him. Although Joey had passed on the black pudding, along with the bacon and sausage, he often had breakfast at the place Joe had got it from. It was close to his office, they did a decent veggie option and served it till a civilised 11.55. He didn't mention that it was one of the Baltic triangle sites he was leasing out though.

Suddenly Martina turned to her son, "What's wrong?"

Joey looked across, he could see Joe was caught unawares, was probably planning a bit more softening up.

"Basically, Jonno's girlfriend has chucked him out." He paused.

'Oh God,' thought Martina, 'it's just like looking through the partition thirty years ago, and seeing Joey there waiting to make some spurious claim.' She sighed, "Go on."

"His mam will take him in but she can't have his dog, so I thought I could keep him with me during the day. I'd have to bring him back here at nights though, couldn't leave him at the studios on his own all night, wouldn't be fair."

Joey had seen that look before, not good news son.

"That'll be ok then, will it?" Joe had expected a heated discussion at best.

"No, it won't be bloody ok then, Joseph. Dogs take a lot of looking after, they're not like cats, you have to walk them twice a day for a start. Who's going to do that?" Martina couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Me, of course, I wouldn't expect you to."

Joey kept his head down. He made a point of not getting involved in their arguments, tempting as it was sometimes to back Martina up. There'd been occasions when he'd been sorely minded to remind Joe in no uncertain terms that it was his mother he was talking to, but conscious that he'd not earned the right to act as his father he'd kept his gob shut. Martina was more than a match for the lad anyway and might well have resented his interfering. Alex's words came back to Joey, 'any fool can father a child, but you've been a father to me all my life.' Well he'd managed the first bit where Joe was concerned, but was totally lacking on the rest.

"And what happens when you're away?" Martina didn't need Joey to fight her battles.

"How often am I away?"

"Let me see, a weekend or three in Amsterdam, a week in Bulgaria, ten days in Sardinia,"

"Sicily," muttered Joe.

"Wherever. A couple of weekends up in London."

"Didn't know you were keeping count." Joe tried to distract her.

"I'll be doing more than keeping count if you start leaving me with some bloody dog to look after. Don't forget I can't take it to work with me, It'd be stuck here on its own all day."

Joey looked up it would be easy for him to take a dog to work whenever Joe was away, he would have liked to offer, but he didn't want to undermine Martina's position.

"He's lovely mum, good natured, all his jabs up to date." Joe tried a softer approach.

"Used to being near Newsham Park for exercise," pointed out Martina

"He might like an urban change then, it'd be better than the rescue kennels."

"What sort of a dog is he?"

"A mix." Joe was cagey.

"What sort of a mix, wolfhound size mix, alsatian size mix, poodle sized mix, watch the cat doesn't eat it rat sized mix?" Martina was on the alert.

"Labrador sized mix." Joe was playing for time, keen not to mention what it was a mix of.

"Mix of what?" Martina had no intention of letting Joe off the hook.

"Labrador mainly, bit of lurcher, bit of pointer, um, bit of staffie." Joe owned up.

Martina rolled her eyes.

"Mam you know it'll end up being put down, nobody wants to rehome staffies. Or he'd have to go out on the streets with it. You wouldn't want to have another client on the soup run, would you?" Joe tried a bit of guilt tripping.

"I'll think about it." Martina spoke with the definite air of some-one having the last word.

Joe eyed his mam and decided to leave it there for the moment. "Thanks mam, I'll cook tonight. You staying Joey?"

"Er,"

"I'll pick some veggie stuff up anyway. See yous." He left.

Martina sighed again, "It's a lovely day, do you fancy a drive out Joey or do you have to be in work?"

One of the things Martina appreciated about her current job was the flexi days she could take, a few late evenings, short lunches and she had a day off. Like today.

"No, I don't have to go in. I'll just make a call to Susie to go through a couple of things and it'll be fine. One thing working for yourself you get to set your own terms and conditions. Where you thinking of going?"

"Formby Point." Martina was expressionless.

He shot her a quick glance, last place he'd have chosen, given his behaviour there last time.

"We didn't get that walk in the woods did we?"

"We didn't, no." Joey wasn't sure what to make of it.

One phone call later and they were driving off up the coast road towards Formby.

The sun was shining, it was unseasonably warm as they left the car and headed to the woods. There had been plenty of cars in the car park but the woods seemed empty of humans, plenty of red squirrels darting about, and lots of birds. It felt alive and vibrant with animal activity. Martina stopped to watch a squirrel eating a pine cone seemingly undisturbed by their presence.

"Last time we was here reminded me of the Listeners," Joey spoke first.

"Yeah, it was still, the calm before the storm," answered Martina enigmatically.

Joey wasn't sure whether Martina was being literal or referring to his actions in the dunes.

"Gone out of fashion now."

"What has?" Joey was lost by the apparent change in conversation.

"Walter de la Mare, he doesn't fit alongside of Yeats and Eliot, and he wasn't a war poet, he seems to have fallen off the radar, along with the likes of Matthew Arnold. It struck me last time we was here that it could have inspired the wild wood, you know from Wind in the Willows, it was unnaturally quiet, you could imagine all sort of things biding their time."

Once again Joey wasn't sure whether that was an oblique reference to him or not. He stole a glance at her, she didn't seem upset or apprehensive. Maybe he was falling into his usual trap of over analysing everything. He should be just enjoying her company, and the fact she had known what he was talking about when he mentioned the Listeners. He had never been able to have conversations with Roxy about poetry, not that she would have dreamt of spending a Wednesday afternoon walking on the coast with him in the first place.

Martina's phone went derailing his thoughts.

"Joseph?"

"Hang on, I'll ask him."

She turned to Joey, "Joseph's picking up tickets for the firework display tonight at Sefton park. Would you like to go?"

"If it's ok with you?"

Martina rolled her eyes, "You don't need my permission Joey." She turned back to her phone, "Yes please, Joseph."

"Ok, we'll be back."

She put it away in her pocket. "He's cooking us dinner before the display, he's asked Mairead round, he wants you to meet her."

"Ar'ey that's great." Joey was made up to think his son wanted him to meet his girlfriend.

They had reached Kirklane path and Martina veered to the right to walk up it. She took Joey by the hand to pull him after her, as they headed towards the beach.

This time there were plenty of people around, either walking their dogs or enjoying a stroll. Seeing the dogs reminded Joey of the breakfast conversation.

"What are you going to do about the dog?"

"I'm not sure. Knowing Jonno it'll probably be a bloody badly trained trophy dog, the sort young men like to strut about with. And Joseph's hardly around, I know what'll happen. I mean he took Humphrey in, but he's never yet taken him to the vet, or sorted anything out for him, and a cat's not in the same league in terms of time and attention is it? He's always bought home stray animals, and I've always been left with them. On the other hand," she shrugged.

"You don't want to see it put down."

"No, I don't."

"Look I can help out, I can't have it at the flat, there's no pets allowed, but I can take it to work when he's away, and I'm happy to walk him. And if you needed a break or were away Billy would always look after it. I know he's a pain most of the time but he's kind hearted and he loves dogs."

"Oh good, a two pronged attack." Martina smiled though.

Joey concluded enough was enough and changed the subject, "Be dark soon, sunset into the sea."

"What admire nature's rich tapestry laid out before us?" Martina couldn't resist it.

Now that was definitely a dig, but there was laughter in her voice and when he finally dared to look at her she was smiling.

"This bit of beach is called Mad Wharf," she informed him inconsequentially.

"Why?"

"All the wrecks, you can see some of them at spring low tide."

They were nearing the car park exit. This time it was Martina who sat down first in the dunes, Joey following. He shifted against them getting comfortable. To his surprise Martina moved into his lap, different this time, she was relaxed and lying back contentedly against him, and he was, well he wasn't sure exactly, but in a much better place than he had been then.

He cuddled her, whilst they enjoyed the impressive sunset over the Irish Sea.

* * *

><p>Showered and changed Joey ventured into the basement.<p>

"Dining room Joey," called out Martina. He went in, he hadn't realised the front room down there was a formal room, they'd always eaten in the kitchen.

The table was set, Martina was talking to a young woman, "Joey this is Mairead, Mairead Joey."

"Nice to meet you," she smiled at him.

"Good to see you," Joey returned her smile, and helped himself to a coke as he'd volunteered to drive this evening. Remembering what Martina had said about a daughter he felt he shouldn't intrude on their space and disappeared to the kitchen with, "I'll just see if Joe needs a hand."

"Hi anything I can do?"

"Hi Joey, not at the minute. Do you want a beer?"

"Not yet, I said I'd drive."

"Ok, well there's plenty here." He put the finishing garnishes on the starter plates, and peered in the oven.

"Yeah, all coming along nicely."

"Are you trying to butter your mam up?"

"Of course," he grinned. "It's ok, she'll know exactly what I'm doing, but she took it better than I was expecting this morning. She's obviously in a good mood, you must be doing something right."

Joey felt himself blushing, if Joe noticed he ignored it and continued, "But I do want you to meet Mai anyway, so it seemed a good opportunity and who doesn't like a firework display."

He checked the oven, turned it off, "Could you take two in for us?"

"Course."

They moved to the dining room bearing the starters. Joe opened some wine, "Mam, Mai?"

He poured, "Joey?"

"Just a bit, thanks."

"Shall we start," he indicated places.

"Thank you Joseph, not that I've any idea why you've gone to so much trouble."

"Oh, I thought it would be nice if Joey and Mai met, sort of squared things off."

"I see."

Mai caught Joey's eye and grinned, she was obviously used to the pair of them.

"Nothing to do with dogs then?"

"Ah well, funny you should mention that."

"What's its name?"

"Marley."

"As in 'and me'?"

"'Fraid so."

"Highly original."

Joe picked up the empty plates.

"Can I help?" Joey was keen to get out of the way.

"No it's fine, I can manage."

As soon as he left the room Martina turned to Mai, "What's it really like?"

"It looks like a hood rat dog, but it's pretty soft. I mean it's like a canine Jonno."

"Thick and wet." Martina snorted.

"Yep, pretty much. He'll be terrified of Humphrey. Although he's totally undisciplined, never does a thing he's told, bounces round all over the place and barks constantly."

"Definitely like Jonno then."

"Completely."

"Oh, terrific."

They fell silent at the opening if the door. Joey wandered about the unknown Jonno being so casually dismissed by the two of them.

As they were eating the main course Joe returned to the fray.

"Mam, any thoughts then about Marley?"

"Lots Joseph."

"Would you care to share them?"

"No."

"Ok. There's reggae on at the Falcon tonight by the way. It might make a pleasant finish to the evening."

"It might, yes. Do you like reggae Mairead?

"I don't mind it."

"Joey?"

"Yes I do as it happens."

"Might well be a pleasant finish to the evening then."

Joseph clearly thought his mam was going to need plenty of persuading, he'd prepared a desert, provided plenty of drinks, refused any assistance in clearing and had now bought coffee and truffles up to the sitting room.

"Mai made these mam. My attempt at petit fours went awry, so she came to the rescue."

"Thanks luv," Martina smiled at her, "I hope it didn't interrupt your studies."

"No, I'm ahead of the game at the moment, so I was just lazing around watching Jezza."

"I'm sure I'm gonna regret this, but, Joseph you can take him."

"Thanks mam," he hugged her.

"Thank Joey, he's offered to take it in with him when you're away and offered his brother up as a respite career if it gets too much for me."

"Cheers Joey, which brother?"

"Billy."

"And you don't have to stay with us all night if you two want to be off either," Martina pointed out.

"Actually we'd quite like to, if that's alright with you and Joey."

"No problem," contributed Joey. "Shall we get going?"

The park was full and the fireworks pretty spectacular, loud and colourful, lighting up the sky. Joey felt more satisfied than he had done for a long while, arm in arm with Martina, their son and his girlfriend close by, just like a proper family. He'd taken Alex many times to see the displays in the past, but Roxy had never wanted to come, so it'd just been the two of them. He wondered if Martina and Joe had been at any of the same displays. Of course in an ideal world he would have set up home with Martina, bought Alex with him, and the four of them could have lived together. Like Roxy would have agreed to that though. Still, no point in dwelling on the past, he kissed the top of Martina's head, and drew her closer to him.

After the display ended Joey drove them to the Falcon.

"If you want a drink Joey I'm happy to drive back," offered Martina. "I'm covered on my insurance, and I've got to work tomorrow so I won't be drinking anyhow."

For a moment Joey was nonplussed. Let a woman drive his car? But why not? "Thanks Martina, that would be good."

The beer met Joseph's standards, the music was well chosen, and Joey had a chance to speak to Mai. He found her sharp and witty, very easy to talk to. It struck him that she was a younger, updated version of Martina. Well, they do say that boys choose women who remind them of their mothers. There was some truth in that, his mam and Roxy shared certain characteristics. Not totally alike, no-one could ever describe his mam as a tart. He'd taken a risk and shared the tart label with Martina. As he'd guessed Martina had been amused, commenting, with a roll of her eyes, 'if only, chance would have been a fine thing.'

Joey definitely approved of his son's choice of girlfriend, mind they were only twenty, and Joe had confided in him that he had no idea what Mai was planning on when she finished uni. Although Joe had tried to pass the relationship off as casual, Joey had a strong feeling that there was more to it than that, at least as far as his son was concerned. Of course he'd only been twenty-two when he'd first met Roxy, and look how many years he'd been hopelessly in love. And, in spite of everything, he still couldn't get her completely out if his head or his heart.

At closing time they meandered back to Joey's car, still talking and joking. Once there Martina held out her hand and Joey passed her his keys with only a slight hesitation. She shook her head, raised her eyes and got in.

Martina drove back slower than she would have normally done, conscious that Joey was a far more cautious driver than she was, and that he was precious about his car.

She pulled up outside her house, "Shall we go to yours tonight?" she asked quietly, flicking her eyes towards the back seat.

He nodded and got out to let Joe and Mai out.

Joseph smiled as Joey got back in the car, "Night then."

Martina waved and pulled off. A few minutes later she parked outside Westminster Chambers. Once they were inside she handed him his car keys.

"There wasn't too painful, was it?" she teased.

Joey had the grace to look embarrassed, "sorry sweetheart I'm just not used to ..." he trailed off.

Martina had a wicked look on her, there were a number of comments she was tempted to make but aware that Joey was quite unstable at present she thought they'd keep until he was in a stronger state.

Joey bought her a coffee over, and sat next to her, pulling her close. She snuggled up against him, stroking his arm.

"We could go to bed," suggested Joey.

"Why, what's wrong with the sofa?" smirked Martina with a gleam in her eyes.

"Nothing sweetheart, nothing," smiled Joey tenderly, beginning to demonstrate that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the sofa at all.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

COSY DOMESTICITY

Joe pressed the buzzer, "Hi, is Joey there please?"

"No, I'm afraid he's not. Can anyone else help?"

"It's Joe, I was hoping he might be able to help us out."

"Oh, come on in."

The door opened. He walked in, Susie came out to meet him. A young Joey.

She smiled, "Hi, I'm Susie, Jack's wife." As soon as she spoke Marley tried to launch himself at her.

Joe pulled him back. "Sit." Marley completely ignored the command. Joe turned shaking his head, "Sorry, he's a complete numb nuts."

She bent to stroke him, he lay down and rolled on to his back, she laughed and ruffled his tummy.

"Actually, it's Marley I need his help with. Me mam didn't want to take him in the first place and I'd forgotten about being away for a couple of days, so if I land her with him so soon, she's gonna flip."

Susie smiled at him sympathetically, "Leave him here, I'll see to him, if Joey doesn't turn in I'll take him home, he'll be fine with us."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. My grandsons will be made up, they're always hassling for a dog."

Joe looked anxious. "He's not been round children, he might need watching, he's boisterous at the best of times."

"Don't worry, I'm used to mutts. Grew up surrounded by them."

"So you'll be my aunt then?"

"Yes, I guess so."

The door opened, "And this is Jess my daughter."

Joe smiled, "Hi,"

Jess nodded at him. "Woah, you're just like your dad."

"So everyone says."

"I bet you're sick of hearing it." She smiled at him.

"It's ok, it helps break the ice. Are you sure about Marley? He's a bit, er untrained."

"Yes, he'll be fine."

"Thanks. I'm dead grateful. You've saved me from a row." He handed over the lead and left, Marley straining to follow him.

"Mam, you sure about him?" asked Jess, as it took both of them to hold him back. "Untrained seems mild. No wonder his mam didn't want to take him. Let's hope Joey comes in."

"He hasn't said he's not, and anyway Jack can manage him, if necessary. He's only at Leopold Road sorting out a yard wall that blew down in the storm last night."

Marley stopped struggling eventually, and lay down looking up at the two women mournfully.

"Would you look at those eyes, melt the hardest heart they would."

"Mmm," Jess wasn't so sure.

Having been fed half a packet of biscuits Marley had been laying at Susie's feet, when he leapt up and ran to the door barking his head off. As Joey came in, he jumped up at him, licking him affectionately.

"Hello fella, get down." Joey made an attempt to push him back. "What's he doing here?"

"We had a visit from your son, keen to avoid a row with his mam."

"About Marley?"

"Yeah, he's away for a couple of days and apparently you said you'd help out."

"I will, yes."

"There you are mam, you're saved."

"Saved from what?" Joey was curious.

"Taking him home. Mam offered in your absence to look after him. That was before she realised." Jess was highly amused by the whole thing.

"I don't know what you're going on about Jess, he's fine, just free spirited."

"Free spirited? That's as bad as untrained." Jess couldn't help laughing.

Joey looked from one to the other.

"Your son appears to be the master of the understatement." Jess explained.

"Well, he did say he was boisterous at the best of times."

"Boisterous! He's totally bonkers."

"I'll grab a coffee, then I'll take him for a walk." Joey thought it might be politic to get him out of the way for a while.

Sitting down with his cup, Marley doing his best to sit on him, it struck Joey that Joe had now met another two members of his family. Granted two of the easiest to get on with, but it seemed to have passed off without noticing almost. He would have liked to hear their take on it, but wasn't sure how to approach it.

Susie entered with a couple of letters. "You'll have to bring him round to meet Jack, John, Tanya and the boys, Joey. He seems a nice enough lad. And his mam too, if she'd like."

"Yeah I will, thanks."

"I was thinking perhaps one Saturday afternoon when we're all at the Will, less formal somehow."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Just give me a few days notice when you sort out a time."

"Will do. Right, let me take him for a walk."

Joey clipped on his lead. "Come on Marley, let's go."

By the time he'd got down to the bottom of Princes Road, Joey was getting accustomed to the disapproving looks and tuts. Marley seemed incapable of walking five yards without barking, or trying to jump up at someone. Joey had shortened and shortened the lead till he was practically holding his collar. Any idea he'd had of letting him off his lead had gone out of his head. He entered Princes Park, keeping him on a tight rein and well away from the children's playground. Right round and out the other side and into Sefton Park, he thought a good walk would wear him out. Joey left by the Lark Lane exit and went down to The Deli. He took him in the back way rather than through the shop.

"Billy, come and meet Marley."

Billy blundered in, Marley leapt up at him, and Billy patted him enthusiastically.

"Ar'ey Joey, he's great."

"Who's a lovely boy then?" he cooed at him.

Thank goodness thought Joey, triumphant.

Matt came through, "Hiya Marley." He patted the dog and was rewarded with a loud bark.

"Do you know him already then?"

Yeah, I've seen him a few times with one of Joe's mates, he's off his head."

"The dog or the mate?"

"Both."

Marley returned to slobbering over Billy, and Matt returned to the shop.

"I don't mind taking him any time Joey, any time, he's lovely."

"Thanks Billy." As Joey often reminded his family, Billy's heart was in the right place, even if he was a pain most of the time.

"Right, I'm gonna take him round the park and back, hopefully that'll tire him out for a bit."

"Don't forget Joey, any time."

As a tactic it had worked, Marley lay back under Susie's feet fast asleep. Jack was sitting with his feet up informing Joey of the state of the yard walls.

"Like a row of dommies they'd fallen. So I did our two, then did a couple more for cash as folk asked." He dug into his pocket.

Joey waved his hand. "Keep it Jack, you did the work."

"We should get another dog, Suze." He was looking at Marley. "Bet Martina loves this one," he smirked.

"She's not ever so keen to be honest. Still I'll walk him again tonight and,"

"It'll give you an excuse to stay over." Jack broke in with a smirk.

"I don't need an excuse," pointed out Joey. "But it'll be nice to have the house to ourselves as Joe's away."

"Apart from the hound from hell," added Jess. "I'm off to pick the boys up, see you tomorrow."

"What do you mean, to yourselves, you've got the flat haven't you?"

"Yeah, but it's not the same, is it?"

"Depends what you're planning on, I suppose." Jack winked.

"It's warmer somehow at Martina's, there's Humphrey, and now Marley."

"Best of both worlds eh? Cosy domesticity or peace and quiet and freedom depending on your mood, with sex on tap, can't be bad."

"Jack!" Susie frowned at him. Susie did get the occasional glimpse of the man behind the act, and had often been concerned about Joey. She'd seen the blues descend on him many a time. But she'd never been quite sure what to do, Joey wasn't given to talking about himself or accepting help. He did seem slightly better now, still got down, but not so often.

She was looking forward to meeting Martina, it would be nice to have a woman in the family to talk to. Leaving an abusive marriage to live in a settled home had been hard enough for her family to come to terms with, but marrying Jack a few years later had driven an insurmountable wedge between them, and she missed her sisters a great deal. It wasn't as though it was possible to hold a normal conversation with Aveline. There had been times, when Aveline had been acting like a spoilt toddler, that Susie had felt like slapping some sense into her. How Oswald coped she didn't know, perhaps being part of the clergy, even the cuckoo clergy, helped.

So Martina definitely sounded like a much better bet in the normality stakes. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long before Joey bought them round.

"Right, we'll be off now. Joey, you coming?" Susie queried.

"No, I need to check that Martina's home, before I go. I don't want to be stuck outside with him not able to get in. I suppose I'd better walk, I dread to think what he'd be like in a car."

"Do you want to check now and we can drop you?"

"No, it's ok, I can't imagine Martina being in from work this early."

"See you then." Jack and Susie left.

Joey got himself a coffee and settled down to watch some catch up TV on his laptop. He thought he'd try Martina about six.

"So Joseph's just waltzed off and left you with Marley?" Martina was disbelieving.

"Er yes, I did say I'd take him when he was away, if you remember." Joey spoke cautiously.

"Yes, but it's not been a month and he's already dipping out. How long's he away for?" He could hear Martina's exasperation.

"A couple of days."

"Yes, but how long precisely Joey?" She sounded now like she was going to explode any minute.

"Well he didn't specify. I assumed two, that's what a couple means." Joey was puzzled. He heard a deep sigh.

"A couple in Joseph speak can mean anything, Joey. He's got a flexible attitude towards language. Little sod." There was a pause. "Still, you weren't to know that. I'll be leaving work about half past so I'll be back by seven. See you then."

Joey couldn't help smiling, even though he realised he'd been stitched up. He had to admit it was the sort if thing he'd have done himself. That's my boy he thought with a certain amount of pride. Not that he'd be sharing that thought with Martina. Anyway, it'd give him a reason to spend more time midweek with her.

As Martina opened the door, Marley hurtled in practically knocking her over. Joey unclipped his lead and he bounded down to the kitchen barking his head off. She shook her head, Joey shrugged his shoulders and gave her a rueful smile. Suddenly Martina burst out laughing, "I can't believe you fell for it Joey. I told you he'd inherited more than looks from you."

"Ah well, I'll know next time." Joey unperturbed, grabbed hold of her and kissed her passionately.

"Mm, you've got about seven minutes before dinner needs taking up," smirked Martina.

"Long as that," grinned Joey, proving to her that he could, on occasions, be decisive.

After dinner, sitting with Martina and watching TV, Humphrey stretched out across them and Marley laying over their feet asleep, Joey thought how right it all felt. It was the first time Martina had specifically cooked for him, a really nice mushroom risotto. It seemed significant somehow. He felt at peace with himself and the world for the first time in, well he couldn't remember exactly, years anyway.

"Do you think I need to walk him before bedtime? I walked him down, back and around Sefton Park, and then from Stanhope Street to here."

"I'm not sure, seems a pity to wake him, but if he's up and barking in the middle of the night it'll be you getting up to see to him." Martina was setting out her position clearly.

"Yeah, I'll take him when this ends then, just to make sure. I don't want to be going for a walk at 3am with him."

"Right fella, come on," Joey led Marley up the street. They got back about fifty minutes later, a heavy frost falling. He let himself in with the key he'd been given.

Martina took one look at them as they came in, "Joey why didn't you put a coat on?"

"I don't have one with me, I was in the car this morning." He stood in front of the fire trying to warm up.

Martina took his hands to try and warm them. "You should have borrowed one of Joseph's, and I'm sure he's got hats and gloves."

"Never mind, I'm thawing out now." He went to give her the key back.

"You'd better hang on to it Joey, you'll need it tomorrow." Martina was casual about it.

"Ok." Joey returned it to his pocket trying not to let his pleasure show.

* * *

><p>"Right I'm off. I'll see you later, be in about half six." Martina kissed him, then left for work. Joey finished his breakfast slowly, tidied up and left for work himself, Marley sloping along beside him.<p>

As soon as they arrived Marley launched himself at Susie.

"Hey now," she fussed over him, "look what I've got for you." She gave him a chewy treat and was rewarded by some ferocious tail wagging.

"Susie will you mind him while I go home and get a coat? I nearly froze taking him for a walk last night. I won't be long."

"Of course Joey, no problem."

Joey slipped out unnoticed while Marley was enjoying his doggy chew. Susie couldn't help noticing how bright her brother-in-law looked, brighter than she'd ever seen before.

Dressed suitably this time, Joey decided to take him home in the early afternoon via Everton park, should help to whack him out, and mean a shorter walk tonight.

He'd got and dropped off some shopping at Martina's earlier and was intending to try and cook his first ever meal.

Joey considered his efforts, a vegetarian chilli, not bad. He hoped Martina would like it. He'd never cooked a dinner for anyone before, actually he'd never cooked anything for anyone, himself included, from scratch. He'd never had to, either his mam or Roxy had done it for him or he'd eaten out or got a takeaway. It hadn't been too difficult, apart from cutting his finger chopping some onions and burning the first lot of rice. Both the animals had been fed and were lying by the fire in the sitting room when Martina returned.

Martina was touched by Joey's thoughtfulness, "Thanks Joey," she kissed him. The meal went down well. They cleared together and retired to the sitting room.

"I'm taking him now, before I get too comfortable." Joey announced once he'd finished his coffee. He prised a reluctant Marley away from the fire and out for his evening walk.

Martina sat back, relieved Joey was keeping to his word about Marley, and encouraged Humphrey over to sit with her.

A sudden bark, and a shower of droplets woke her up, "Marley!" She squinted at him, crossly.

"Has he been in water Joey?"

"No, it's pouring. What shall I dry him with?"

"Hang on, I'll find a towel."

"What a night, there's a gale force wind blowing as well."

Dried and changed and clutching a hot drink, Joey sat back down. He hadn't had to do this sort of thing since Edgar. A whole load of memories suddenly flooded his mind.

"Joey, you alright?" Martin had noticed his expression.

"Yes sweetheart, I was just reminiscing about a dog I had years ago." Joey decided to be selective.

"Mongy, the one who used to bring me notes?" Martina remembered the dog with the rolled up note asking for better food and smiled.

"No, he was the family dog, I was thinking about Edgar. Edgar was mine."

Joey shared his memories of Edgar, and tried to push the ones of Roxy out of his mind.

* * *

><p>"Ok mister, you and I are going to work via the river path." Joey clipped on his lead. Day four and still no sign of Joe. Once down on the path Marley tried chasing seagulls, barking his head off and tugging at his lead. Fortunately there was no one about to be annoyed. Joey kept going till they reached Otterspool Park, cut down there, back through Sefton Park, Princes Park and up eventually to Stanhope Street.<p>

"I'd given you up for today." Susie took Marley's lead.

"We've been for a long stroll. I'll have lost a stone with all this walking by the time Joe's back," joked Joey.

"You know you've been enjoying it." Susie wasn't fooled.

"Yeah, I have. Has Jack recovered?"

"Of course, he was exaggerating."

Yesterday, Jack had volunteered to take a turn, and had returned knackered after half an hour. Joey wasn't so sure he had been exaggerating. Jack was carrying a hell of a lot of weight. Couldn't be good for him.

The sound of the buzzer cut into his musing.

"Hi Joey, everything ok?"

"Ah, the return of the prodigal. Your mam's a bit tetchy, I suspect fatted calf's not gonna be on the menu."

"More than a bit I would've thought." Joe grinned, unconcerned, whilst trying to fend off an over excited Marley. "Yeah sorry, took longer than I expected." He didn't sound particularly sorry.

"Right thanks Joey, I owe you. Thanks Susie, I hope he's not been too much of a pain."

Joe breezed out with Marley in tow.

Joey smiled to himself and thought how much he'd enjoyed the last few days.


End file.
